I Swear In The Days Still Left
by RedBelle94
Summary: Lily and Iain's lives come crashing down when they're both diagnosed with cancer. Both unsure of the outcome, the two of them make a pact that instead of suffering, to carry on living their lives as normally as their treatment will let them, to show everyone that they are just like any other couple, but just so happen to be facing a big challenge.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea had sprung into mind an awful lot. I've read stories where Iain and Lily support each other through their ordeals but what if they were both going through the same thing? I've been nervous about posting the story as not only do I want to make it as realistic as possible but I also wanted to explore all aspects of cancer.**

 **A big thank you for TheBeautifulNerd for her support, summary ideas and the best way to end this story. I hope I can do you proud.**

 **Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

It took effort to resist the urge.

Lily Chao felt the bugs crawl underneath her skin. She felt irritated as they always start moving at the worst possible time.

One time was when she was having lunch with Ethan. They were having an argument over the best way to cook an egg. It was a silly argument. But all Lily could think about are the bugs under her skin. Taking time to remind herself not to scratch, Lily found it was becoming unbearable. Scratching however, will only make it worse.

Another time was when she went shopping with Alicia and Robyn. Alicia saw a dress she liked and held it out in front of herself in a mirror, but to her dismay, it didn't quite suit her. Lily however, was a perfect match for it. Encouraged by Robyn, Lily went to try it on. That was when the bugs made a return. Lily groaned, she now can't go shopping without needing to scratch.

Those bugs then came back again tonight. At the exact moment when she was trying to sleep. This time, they were moving faster. Must be the heat, in the middle of October which Lily found freaky. Gem however was the only person in the flat who treated the temperature of the flat to how it should be in October, complaining that it was the Arctic. But Lily and Iain had both compared it to a sauna.

Lily tried hard not to fidget in bed as she didn't want to wake Iain up, who was sleeping soundly beside her. Hand locked with hers. He looked so peaceful, taking each day as it comes. Lily never admits it to him, but she wishes he'd never change.

Thinking about Iain suddenly took Lily's mind off those irritating bugs. They must have known Lily won't let them bother her, not whilst she had something good to think about. She slowly shuffled closer to Iain, letting her nose touch his, before she drifts off to sleep.

Not willing to back down from a fight, the bugs crawled into Lily's arm. She silently squeezed her eyes as if she was telepathically telling those irritating bugs to go away and let her have a good night sleep. Sadly, not only did it not work, but the bugs were multiplying themselves, making every feeling feel ten times worse.

Making the difficult decision to separate her hand from Iain's, Lily slide her feet off the bed, picking herself off from the bed. Unsure of what's allowing those bugs to irritate her skin as well as disrupt her silent slumber, she stood up and quietly tip-toed out of the room.

Not noticing the sound of coughing and stir that was happening behind her.

Lily walked past the empty bedroom, secretly thankful that Gem was on a night shift since she is normally a light sleeper. The image of what happened after Iain woke Gem up is still fresh in her mind, considering she had to talk Gem out of killing her brother. With the memory in mind, Lily clearly didn't fancy being on the receiving end of a cranky Gem.

Once Lily entered the bathroom and pulled the cord, adding light into the room, she started to check her arms, legs and chest for any signs of redness, spots or even a sign. Her arms were clear and so we're her legs. Even her front was as clear as a new born baby. Nothing. She found nothing. No indications of a rash or spots or red skin. The only place Lily hadn't checked were her back, she turned around but from her vest top, it did appear clear.

Could the bugs irritating her skin be telling her something?

Lily was about to ignore the thought until she caught a glance of someone approaching in the mirror. She secretly cursed herself, under the impression that she woke him from his peaceful paradise. His hand was over his mouth as Lily noticed he appeared to be clearing his airways of something. Air? Dust? Phlegm?

Lily pushed that to one side as she turned to face him, feeling guilty for waking him up.

"I didn't wake you up," Lily nervously whispered to Iain, "Did I?"

Lily watched as Iain froze in front of her. It soon dawned on the paramedic that whilst his coughing spells had interrupt his sleep, but he didn't notice that there was an empty space in his bed. The feeling of guilt grew inside of him, his coughing fits must had woken Lily up.

"No," Iain answered, inhaling then exhaling a few seconds later, "It was me. Sorry Chuckles."

"Don't," Lily sighed, looking at the mirror, "I must had slept through the coughing. I needed to check something. Actually, could you help me please? I wasn't able to check my back."

Iain nodded and gestured to Lily to turn around, before pulling her top up.

"What am I looking for?" Iain asked her.

"Any redness, spots or a rash," Lily answered.

Iain frowned at Lily's request before lowering her vest top.

"Clear," he coughed, getting the last of the irritation out of his airways before looking at his girlfriend, "Is everything okay?"

Lily hated it whenever someone asked her that question. It always gave her two different options. Choice one, say nothing, assume it's nothing and treat it as nothing. But she asked Iain to check and she knows that if he is aware that something is troubling her, he'll try to push her before she gives up and tells him. If she tells him, there's a chance he'll overreact. But what can she do? Tell him now or later?

Taking a deep breath, she decides to tell Iain about the bugs now than later to make sure he doesn't need to worry about her.

"I don't know why," Lily admitted, "But I've been feeling itchy for the past few weeks. Now I can't sleep because of it. That's why I'm up to check for any signs."

"Starting to bug you?" Iain asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Please don't say 'bug'," Lily groaned as she placed her head on his chest, "I've been calling them that since they arrived."

Iain chuckled at Lily's statement, resting his lips on her head, letting Lily feel comfortable and warm in his arms and using his chest as a pillow.

It took three deep breaths until Iain notices how tense Lily is feeling. Realising what she needs is to let her muscles relax, her tense muscles gave him an idea.

"I think I know what you need," he suggested, winking at her, "A special Dean back rub. Recommended for all stresses in your life."

Lily secretly rolled her eyes. It was still a mystery his head still fits through the door frame but she couldn't help but laugh at his ego. The idea of a back rub actually sounds nice, the suggestion itself already relaxed her muscles.

"Okay," she pretended to sigh, knowing Iain is aware that she was tempted.

"Come on then," Iain removed his warm arms from around her waist and locked his hand with hers and took her to the sofa.

Lily closed her eyes as she felt circular motions within her shoulders, removing the tension she was feeling, taking away the small problems she was facing with at the moment.

Lily felt Iain's magic fingers at the back of her neck, where she is the most ticklish. Trying hard not to show her boyfriend he was tickling her, she clinches her eyes, trying to block the touch of his hands.

She suddenly opened her eyes. Whatever she did must have worked since she didn't feeling anything, not even those bugs. Happy that Iain got rid of them, Lily turned to face him, only to see the look of Iain's face. She peered into his green eyes but only saw two things; fear and concern.

Lily took in every movement that Iain made as he bolted from the sofa to their bedroom, running back into the sitting room with his phone in his hand.

"I'm sorry Lily," Iain panted the camera in his hand, "Do you mind?"

It only took five seconds for Lily to realise what Iain was indicating about. Cautiously, she moved her hand to the back of her neck, rubbing her skin, where she felt a bump.

"Spot?" Lily asked, hoping it was something not as serious as what she thought it was.

"No," Iain answered, taking her hands in his as Lily watched tears filling his eyes, "A lump."

Lily knew right there and now what a lump usually means.

 _Cancer._

* * *

 **This chapter is a bit shorter than the chapters that I normally write for "Sisters" and on that subject, I haven't abandoned that story. I've still been thinking about plot lines to make the story understandable.**

 **Please Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**TheBeautifulNerd: Thank you so much for your comment. It's not going to be any easier for Lily, Iain and everyone who cares about them.**

 **I was terrified about doing this story but I know it'll give me an opportunity to carry out research so that I can gain a better understanding of cancer and how it affects people differently. There will be some happy moments as well as sad moments but I love Lily and Iain, and I hold hope that Lily will return, especially since Iain needs it now more than ever.**

 **Anyway, please enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Iain didn't get much sleep. Not since he received the news no one wants to hear.

The lump that was found on Lily's neck is normally linked to a tumour. The were so many images in Iain's mind that he is trying to take in.

Can she beat it?

Will things be different?

Can Iain really help her?

Deep down, Iain was only certain of the answer to just one of these questions. Things are going to be different if Lily is diagnosed with cancer. She'll have to go through treatment, the effects and the progression. All of these will be a terrifying experience for her to go through, and for him to watch.

Stopping the walk to the ambulance station after clearing his airways of irritation, Iain couldn't help but feel as if he should have been the one with the signs of cancer. He was the risk taker of the two whilst Lily plays if safe. Out of the two, he's normally in an environment that puts him at risk.

The first thing Lily promised to do was to call the GP and book an appointment. If the GP can detect cancer quickly, it'll increase Lily's chances of survival. Who knows? It may be something else entirely, so all the panicking the two of them were experiencing may have been for nothing.

The moment Iain walked into the ambulance station, dust had once again slipped into his airways as he struggled to fight the resistance to keep the dust down.

"Die quietly Iain," Sam called as she walked past him, "I don't want to drive along to the sound of someone sounding as if they just ran a marathon."

Iain ignored her, getting the dust out of his airways. He vowed to keep himself distracted until Lily tells him that she's managed to book an appointment.

"Iain?" Sam snapped him out of his thoughts, "You're not ill, are you?"

"No," Iain whispered with the thought in his mind.

 _But my girlfriend might be._

"Well?" Sam groaned, "What's wrong with you?"

Iain felt his blood boil. What's wrong with him? Sam is constantly annoying him with her sarcastic behaviour, Iain seems to be collecting more dust in his airways than he can get out and Lily could be facing off against death.

"Nothing!" Iain snapped, startling Sam, "Sorry, somethings on my mind."

"Care to talk about it?" Sam asked him.

Iain and Lily talked about telling others. Clearly, Connie will need to know, and Iain needs to talk to Jan about accompanying Lily, but that's it! If others know, then they could treat Lily differently and then one factor will make her feel like the odd one out. If it isn't a hundred per cent cancer, that why worry everyone over nothing?

"No," Iain answered, as the radio came up, "3006 to control."

* * *

Lily had been spending every moment she had trying to find out what a lump in her neck is trying to tell her.

She felt the lump again. Normally, lumps in the neck could be a sign of a sore throat, headaches, difficulty breathing or even problems swallowing. Lily, however, isn't experiencing any of the symptoms. In fact, she never felt any pain from her lump.

That combined with the bugs irritating her body were telling her one thing.

Lymphoma.

Cancer in the lymphatic system.

Lily knew that it starts in the cells that battle infection. Her lymphocytes won't work as well as they normally would. Wherever the lymphoma is, her risk of infection will be higher than it would have been.

"Morning Lily," Alicia greeted her as she walked in the staff room, "You look as if you've lost weight. What's your secret?"

Lily felt the fear of the lymphoma creeping in her mind again. Wei-weight loss? An-Another symptom? She secretly hoped Alicia was wrong, especially since she hadn't done anything to improve her health. In all honesty, Lily is surprised she hadn't put any weight on.

If Alicia is right about the weight loss, then the chances of lymphoma are slowly starting to increase.

"I don't know," Lily fearfully answered, "I'm surprised I haven't put it on. I keep eating Ben and Jerry's every day."

"Not fair," Alicia groaned, "Some people have the best of luck."

Alicia failed to notice Lily closing her eyes, trying to fight back her tears. There was never a moment when her predicament was considered "lucky".

It soon took Lily to recount how Alicia is treating her. Clearly, she doesn't know that Lily is having a cancer scare. But what if she did? Would the two of them be having the conversation? Would Alicia treat her differently?

Looking back, Lily often remembers how protective people are when it comes to conditions. Lily remembered treating a patient where her mother had been constantly checking up on her and acting as her voice because of her selective mutism. Lily can remember communicating with her using pictures, making her voice be heard as well as seen. It was Lily's proudest moment, as it made the young girl feel like a normal person. At the end of the day, she was still a little girl.

Lily knew she wanted to be more than a doctor with cancer. She just wanted to be…well, a doctor.

"Sorry," Lily smiled for the first time since she found the lump, "But you got a perfect figure anyway."

"I know," Alicia sighed, "But I've been out of breath when jogging and I want to train for an upcoming fun run."

* * *

After another bout of coughing, Iain knew he was going to have a hard day. Sam had to go through the actions whilst he was doing the writing. It was the one part they fought each other over to get out of the writing, but this time, Sam wasn't taking no for an answer.

Especially since Lily told Sam a secret he didn't want Gem to know about.

Still feeling tired from last night, Iain slowly yawned. It worried him still, and it'll continue to worry him until the two of them get to the bottom of it.

Slowly taking his hand from his face, he was horrified to see redness on his hand.

Blood.

Iain pressed his hand to his nose. Pulling his hand away, he is alarmed to see where the blood was coming from. He thought he'd seen the last of the nose bleeds as the last one he had occurred seven days ago.

Getting up, he grabbed a tissue before sitting down again. He pressed on the centre of his nose and tilted his head forward, taking the time to wait.

He doesn't know what's been causing these nose bleeds, just like Lily didn't know why she was itching. But Lily told him she was experiencing these spells for a month. Could things have been different if Lily had the itchy spells checked before they found the lump?

Iain doesn't think so. Skin irritation could be linked to a rash, but there was no sign of a rash. It could be linked to allergies, but Lily hasn't been anywhere near a dog and she doesn't know if there is anything else she is allergic to. It could even be linked to chicken pox, but Lily had told him her parents once bathed her in porridge when she had them.

Cancer is the last thing itchy skin could suggest.

"Would you get your head out of the gutter?" Sam snapped after walking into the station, "You've been distracted all day!"

Iain stuffed the red tissue into his trouser pocket, thankful the bleeding stopped. No one knew about them, not even Lily. The last thing Iain wanted to do is to make Lily worry. They already have her cancer fear, they don't need anything else to worry about.

Deep down, he knew Lily was reluctant to tell him about her skin irritation. It took Lily a long time to decide whether to tell him about it. He couldn't judge her for hesitating about telling him when he was keeping secrets about his nose bleeds.

"Sorry," Iain muttered, "Didn't sleep well."

"Figures," Sam scoffed, handing him a mug of coffee, "I was wondering if I could ask you something."

A distraction!

Just what Iain needs.

* * *

Lily once again, tried to resist the urge to squash the bugs giving her a hard time. It wasn't fair of her to kill them, not after the warning that they were giving her.

Although she can't stand the thought of brothers arguing, Lily is thankful for Ethan and Cal. Apparently, Ethan was on a roll on a shooting game that he and Cal were teaming up on. That was, until Cal shot him in the back. What was more annoying was that Cal only did it because the avatar Ethan was going to shoot was attractive. They're going out for drinks tonight.

"It was just a game, Nibbles," Cal argued.

"Just a game?" Ethan fought back, "once again, you chose a random girl over your brother!"

"It wasn't 'again'," Cal complained.

"Taylor, Lottie," Ethan started to list, "Sarah-"

"You made your point!"

The pair were alarmed to hear giggling from behind the computer. It soon dawned on them that of all people to be enjoying the disputes, it was the Ice Queen herself. Not like her at all.

"You okay?" Cal asked her, bringing the bugs back.

Lily placed her hand on her elbow, where the bugs decided to move to. She'd rather they were on her legs, then no one can see her fidgeting. The biggest fear she has was people fussing over her because she may have cancer.

That fear of being known as the doctor with cancer is gradually spreading.

"Some people are inconsiderate!"

Never in a million years is Lily thankful for Louise grumbling as she was now.

Attention had drifted from Lily to Louise because of those four words.

Lily was grateful, as Ethan and Cal turned their eyes towards Louise. It meant that the labeller can get lost and bother her another day.

"What's gone off?" Cal asked her.

"A and E is for life-threatening emergencies only," Louise pointed out to the three doctors, "So why are people coming in for rashes, coughing and headaches?"

Lily rolled her eyes at this statement. There was an incident where a little girl died of a cardiac arrest because there wasn't a doctor available at the scene. This was due to doctors treating people for ailments that could easily be looked at by a GP or a pharmacist.

"Someone even came in with a lump," Louise explained.

Lump.

The bugs have now come back without warning.

* * *

"Okay," Iain answered Sam.

"I'm taking part in a fun run," Sam explained to him, "It's in eighteen months and I was hoping, as weak as you are, if you'd be my trainer."

Iain froze when Sam asked him this. Normally, he would jump at the chance and Sam knew this.

But if the signs do lead to cancer, then supporting Lily needs to come first as she'll need to be taking it easy. If Iain helps Sam, then what could happen if Lily needs to go to hospital? What could happen if Lily picks up an infection?

What could happen if Lily does have cancer?

"Sorry Sam," Iain answered, "I can't. I've got to look after Lily."

"Oh my God," Sam grew alarmed, "Is she okay?"

Iain realised he said too much. They agreed that it stays between them. How is he going to explain himself without breaking Lily's trust?

"Lily is due for a tonsillectomy," Iain lied, "She had tonsillitis and it didn't clear away, so she needs to have them removed."

Sam suddenly relaxed, relieved it wasn't serious.

Iain didn't think Sam would believe him, but it was the first thing he could think of. It wasn't serious, but from Sam's expression, she completely bought it.

"Okay," Sam smiled, "I'll talk to Lily later. See how she is and ask her for any updates."

Iain suddenly realised he may have some explaining to do. But the irritation in his airways have come back.

Iain couldn't resist.

He needs to cough it out of his system.

* * *

"Hello," the voice entered her ear, "West Holby Medical Practice. How can I help?"

Lily took full advantage of her lunch break. One of her main things she needed to do was to book an appointment with her GP. The sooner she gets answers, the better her chances for survival are.

"Hello," Lily spoke into her phone, "Can I book a GP appointment for as soon as possible?"

"Okay," the voice answered.

Closing her eyes, Lily's fear slowly started to shrink. Finally, the next part of dealing with her symptoms is fast approaching. Right in front of her is the future.

The sun being hidden in the clouds, who want all the attention.

The golden grass sparkling like glitter.

And Iain lying next to her with a care in the world.

"Is it urgent?"

Lily froze when she heard that question.

Normally, urgent meant difficulty breathing, constant pain, vomiting that won't go away. All of these are urgent and needed seeing to straight away. If left untreated, it could lead to life-threatening illnesses. Lily could easily picture someone needing to be resuscitated after she left the GP's office.

All because of itchy skin and a lump.

Which could be anything.

Could Lily and Iain be over-reacting when they found the lump? Could there be another solution? Could it really be worth someone not being able to breathe?

The vision of Iain, the attention seeking clouds and the golden grass has suddenly faded into what appears to be a wooden box.

Lily doesn't want to be responsible for someone's death. Skin irritation is only an inconvenience.

So, is it urgent?

"No," Lily whispered, "It isn't."

* * *

 **I always found that skin irritation could easily be treated, but after doing the research, I'm not too sure.**

 **The one question I always dread when booking an appointment is "Is it urgent?" as there are always people who feel as if other peoples' ailments are more important than their own. I suffer from depression, and I always say "no" because I felt as if I was being a burden.**

 **The next chapter will look at a very important issue during the first stage of diagnosing cancer. I hope you will enjoy it.**

 **A big thank you to TheBeautifulNerd for her help and advice. I would also love to thank her as if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have gone back into writing. I felt honored to have met you.**

 **Please review and enjoy this season!**


	3. Chapter 3

**TheBeautifulNerd: I always hated that question. It puts me off getting help for my problems but a lot can change in terms of health, and I hope this chapter should also cover this nicely.**

 **I wanted to use the story to explore the journey through cancer. Before I knew that there were some people who thought cancer was going to destroy lives. But there are some people who never shown their fear of cancer, they just saw it as an inconvenience as it often took time away from what they wanted to do with their lives. I hope you will continue to read the story to the very end.**

* * *

Chapter 3

 _Two weeks from tomorrow._

The bugs are finally starting to feel nervous and hidden themselves away. It was about time as well, as she was ready with the strawberry-scented bug spray she keeps in her purse.

 _Two weeks._

Although she's glad its going to get sorted, there's a chance that things could go from bad to worse in a short amount of time. Would two weeks be too late? Would she be able to fight the fear away? Would she live to see through those two weeks?

Lily had so many questions in her mind on the way to Connie's office. The fear is slowly creeping up, but Lily doesn't know what to fear most. Connie or cancer?

Once she arrived at her destination, Lily took one deep breath in for one second, then breathed out for five seconds. Clearing the fear out of her mind, she knocked on the door three times…

…but heard no answer.

"Dr Chao," she turned around and saw Alicia walking up to her, "You haven't heard, have you?"

"No," Lily answered, taking a brief glance at the door, "Heard what?"

"Mrs Beauchamp had gone to assist the surgeons in Cardiology," Alicia explained, "she won't be back for a few hours."

All Lily could hear were the bugs laughing at her. She wished she could easily swat them away, or to tell them to get lost. But she desperately wished at least Iain would be with her to break the news to Connie about these vermin.

 _Two weeks._

That's what she has on her mind.

* * *

"Enter!"

Iain walked into Jan's office, unsure what to say. Knowing that she's going to be one of a few people to know about Lily's potential cancer is enough to scare anyone, but it'll be a weight taken off his shoulders once he finally tells her.

"Iain," she looks up at him, "You looked as if someone whacked you on the head. What did you do this time?"

"Charming," he chuckled, making things feel easier, "I need to tell you something. It's, it's about Lily."

* * *

"Ethan!" Sam called out to him, attracting his attention, "You haven't seen Lily, have you?"

"Yeah, I have," Ethan answered, confusion and worry about his friend piping up, "She hasn't rowed with Iain, has she? She's been acting strange all day."

Sam frowned at the comment. Could that have been why Iain hasn't been himself. But if that was the case, why did he say Lily was ill? What were the reasons behind the argument? And why didn't Iain just tell her straight instead of lying to her?

"Iain told me Lily was due for a tonsillectomy," Sam explained to him, "I wanted to talk to her, maybe support her."

"Lily had a tonsillectomy when she was seven," Ethan informed her, "She told me when I asked her about the Care Bear teddy in her flat."

Iain has lied to her! But why didn't he tell her the truth? What was he and Lily hiding?

"I need Lily's locker code!" Sam requested.

* * *

Jan watched as Iain was checking the stock in the ambulance.

He seemed so strong despite the weight that is piling on his shoulders. At a young age, he went through so much. An alcoholic mother, a sister with her own prison cell and he watched the death of a good number of people he considered to be good friends.

But judging from his facial expression, this is going to be the hardest thing he is going to go through. And they don't even know for definite that it's cancer.

Jan just wanted to burst into tears. She herself had lost a brother to cancer and she was unable to bring herself to ask him how he was being so brave about it, despite having something that would have (and did) eventually kill him.

"Hi Jan," she looked up to see Lily, "Is Iain here?"

All Jan wanted to do is to hug the young doctor. She tried to picture this strong, confident woman as a cancer patient. But, but she couldn't. There was no way she could picture Lily on a drip, or with a sudden weight loss, or even without her beautiful brunette hair. The image also failed to have her with pale skin, tired eyes or even a weakened posture.

There are some people you couldn't picture having cancer.

And Lily Chao is one of them.

"He's in the ambulance," she responded, realising she may have taken a long time to answer Lily's question.

"One word," Ethan told her, "Confidentiality! Ever heard of it?"

Sam ignored him as she managed to unlock Lily's locker. To her disbelief, she came across what didn't seem to be the locker of the professional Dr Chao. It looked like a locker, you'd find in an American high school movie.

What started with an image of the lymphatic system quickly showed a loose side, being more of a flap than an important image. Sam opened the flap with a giggle to find that the poster is hiding several photos of her and Iain.

"She's a teenager at heart," Sam giggled, remembering what she was looking for.

She pulled out Lily's bag and found among books, an iPod Nano, pens, the item she was looking for. The white iPhone was protected by a red case. It was almost as if she was opening a book.

"So that's why Iain couldn't move for a week!" Sam laughed as she switched the screen of Lily's phone on, "He's carried both Lily and the rucksack along the sand!"

Ethan was slowly peering at the image by Sam's shoulder before she quickly shut the cover.

"What did you say about confidentiality?" Sam smirked.

* * *

Iain finally completed the checks, relieved that everything was up to date.

The sense of relief died down as soon as his airways once again collected dust. It was almost as if the dust particles were walking to his lungs.

He cleared his airway once again, for the tenth time today, wondering what is happening to him.

"Bit stuffy in there, isn't it?"

Iain turned around to see Lily waiting at the door. He sighed when he caught her patting her arms. Clearly, those bugs haven't left her alone.

"Glad I'm not the only one!" he said, "I keep opening the windows, but Sam always shuts them!"

"Gem and the flat all over again," Lily sighed, "Why am I feeling warm?"

"Why is everyone so cold?" Iain chuckled, holding his arm out for Lily to climb in, "You haven't turned me to an Ice Prince, have you?"

"Ha, ha, ha," Lily mocked him, remembering why she came to see him, "I've um, managed to get an appointment."

Lily can tell from Iain's facial expression that a weight has been lifted off his shoulder and the scent of fear has slowly wavered away.

"That's great," he pulled her in for a hug, placing his lips in her hair, tasting the banana shampoo she used, "When is it?"

"October 29th."

Iain froze when Lily told him. Today was the fourteenth.

 _Two weeks from tomorrow!_

"They couldn't," Iain struggled to get the words out, as his airways had gathered dust again.

It only took him a few seconds before the dust left his airways. As the particles were next to tiny, he couldn't see what was irritating his airways. It was almost as if there was nothing there.

"They couldn't get an earlier appointment," he recollected himself as he managed to ask the question.

"It, it was the earliest non-urgent appointment."

* * *

The item of interest was lying in front of them. They know what's inside, they know what they're looking for and they know why they are going to be looking at it.

Sam and Ethan, however, just don't know how to get into Lily's phone.

"Lily is smart," Sam mutters, "There's no way she would use her birthday as a password."

"Try 20101954," Ethan suggested, much to Sam's confusion, "Her father's birthday. There's no other influences in Lily's life than him."

Never in a million years did Sam expect herself to have missed that bit of information.

"We should do this more often," Sam smirked at him, knowing fully well that Ethan agreed with that, typing those eight numbers, "Clearly there is."

The number failed, but Sam knew Ethan was on the right page with birthdays. She typed in a new number.

 _02101982._

Again, no luck!

"What did you try this time?" Ethan asked her, witnessing what she did.

"Iain's birthday," Sam explained, "Can't believe that didn't work!"

"Wait, you might have the right person but the wrong highlight," Ethan pointed out to her, "Try 1, 0, 1, 2, 2, 0, 1, 6! Lily was feeling down, and she and Iain found themselves under the mistletoe on that day!"

Sam carried out Ethan's instructions and to their delight, they heard what they were looking for.

A click!

"Good try Dr Chao," Sam smirked to Ethan.

"Just not good enough," Ethan confirmed.

Ethan never thought he'd say this, but he was feeling excited about the detective work he and Sam were doing. Feeling awful about spying on his friends were one thing, but the excitement replaced that instantly.

"Someone's changed their tune," Sam laughed, realising he doesn't feel guilty about this.

"Let's look at her browser," he ignored her, going into Google Chrome.

What they saw on Lily's current browser, however, was alarming.

A link that stemmed from three things.

 _Itchy skin._

 _Sudden weight loss._

Ethan thought back to Alicia moaning about Lily's perfect figure under her breath. He also remembered Lily anxiously patting her arms as if she was batting flies away from her.

But there was one alarming thing they saw.

 _Lump at the back of the neck._

All leading to one possible cause.

* * *

"What do you mean non-urgent!" Iain shouted at Lily, practically screamed at her.

Of all the things Iain hates about GP surgeries, that one question is at the top of the list.

 _Is it urgent?_

It was why people never go for help for mental illness. It was why suicide rates are rising. And it was also why when people are being treated, it would be a case of now or never.

"I'm sorry," Lily cried, tears falling down her face, "When they asked me that, all I kept thinking about was people in greater need."

"But you may have cancer!" Iain argued his point, "Time may be something you might not have much of!"

It hurts to hear those words, but deep down, Lily knew Iain was right. She thought back about a story she heard from school. Her Biology teacher, Mr Naismith told the class about his own experience when his father battled cancer.

There were two dates for him to get his results back.

And he chose the later date of the two.

The only other thing Lily knew about the story, was that his father lost his battle to cancer.

He was only 52.

Lily remembered the resentment Mr Naismith harboured over that one decision that his father had made, for the distance between the two dates were two weeks apart.

A lot can happen in an hour, a day, a week.

So, in the two weeks of waiting, his cancer had spread from his stomach to his lungs.

Mr Naismith had always said one thing about the experience. And it always stuck in Lily's mind.

" _Always go for the earliest appointment."_

Lily saw Mr Naismith in front of her, his eyes filled with sadness. It felt as if he was pleading with her to change the date of her appointment with the GP…

…And give herself a better chance of survival.

"Lily?"

She quickly turned to come face to face with Iain, suddenly remembering where she was now.

"You okay?"

All Lily wanted to do now was reassure him, but then she saw something alarming.

She quickly got up on her feet and guided Iain to the chair, grabbing the nearest tissue she could find.

"Your nose is bleeding," she explained, handing him over the tissues.

"Not ag-," Iain pinched his nose to drain the blood into his nose, realising what he was about to say in front of his girlfriend.

There was no point in wishing that Lily would miss out on what he just said. These nose bleeds were getting frequent, just like the coughing fits.

Was it possible that the coughing fits and the nose bleeds were linked?

"It wasn't the first time today," he confessed, realising that he was unable to stop what he accidently started, "Or in the past few weeks."

* * *

Sam and Ethan locked the phone and Lily's locker, both reeling from what they had seen.

Both tried to put the image of Lily as a cancer patient in their minds. Which they found wasn't easy at all. They can't picture Lily needing IV fluids on a regular basis, or without her hair, or without her energy.

Why Lily?

Why does she have to have cancer?

* * *

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Lily was, well shocked would be a bit mild to put it, but what word can you describe it?

"I couldn't," Iain explained, "I didn't think anything of it."

"Like me and the bugs," Lily sighed, "Can we trade? They're irritating me."

"Not as much as the dust," Iain snorted, making light out of the situation, "Do, do you think the two are linked?"

"I don't know," he suddenly turned after her answer and saw the tears in her hazel eyes.

It was no surprise to Iain that Lily was terrified. First, she discovered that she may have cancer. Now, she's learned that there could also be something medically wrong with her boyfriend.

"Why us?" Lily whispered, "Why us?"

"Maybe it's a challenge," Iain whispered, pulling her in his arms, stroking her hair, "Maybe we're too strong of a couple and this prove to everyone that love is strong."

"I don't think it broke us," Lily agreed, "Look at us now, I think it just made us stronger."

* * *

Both registrar and paramedic looked fearfully at each other the moment they saw the couple.

They knew the cancer scare would be difficult for Iain as well as Lily. It's difficult for him as he'll have to take time off work to support her. He also must watch Lily on the days she feels off as well. But the worst part for Iain is not knowing what the future will hold for him.

Since he won't know if she'll survive this.

"Break time isn't over yet!" they were brought back to their whereabouts as Lily and Iain spot them.

Sam and Ethan looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to say to them. Sorry, they talked about them behind their backs? Sorry, they looked at Lily's phone and invaded her privacy?

Sorry she may have cancer?

"Is everything okay?" Iain asked them, "You two look as if you've murdered someone and want us to help you get rid of the body."

They both watched as Lily giggled at Iain's joke. Clearly, she isn't letting the news that she may have cancer bother her. Instead of sensing fear from the couple, they are sensing a more positive vibe. Full of joy, love and courage.

It sounds like Lily Chao and Iain Dean all right.

"He was joking at that," Lily pointed out, following the long period of silent, "Sam, you didn't help Ethan kill Cal, did you?"

Now it was Iain's turn to gasp in mock horror.

"Actually" Sam began, "We have a confession to make."

"What?"

"We shouldn't have done this," Ethan continued, "But we were worried about you both."

"What did you do?" Lily asked turning her gaze from Ethan to Sam.

"We looked through your phone Lily," Sam admitted, "We know it's not tonsillitis."

Iain wanted to mentally kick himself as he forgot he told Sam that Lily was due for a tonsillectomy. It slipped his mind that Lily already had one when she was seven. And he even forgot to warn Lily about that important lie.

"How did you get in?" Lily asked them, "I changed my password."

"To the first kiss?" Sam answered, "Don't try to change the subject, we know about the cancer."

"She might not have it," Iain stepped in for her, "That's why we never said anything!"

"We've only found the lump yesterday," Lily explained, "We haven't had enough time to process it yet!"

That was the main point of the fact that Iain and Lily were both being so calm about it. Not enough time to get their heads around it or even talk about it. Not enough time to think about how much of an impact cancer can have on them both. Not enough time that they may have left with each other.

But maybe that was why Lily and Iain were being so strong about it. They weren't thinking about the negatives about cancer, in fact, they were thinking about the strength they have inside. It felt stronger than the cancer itself.

It's as if Iain was fighting the cancer alongside her.

Her cancer is THEIR cancer.

"Is there anything we can do?" Sam asks them, "Anything we can do to help?"

"Nothing," Lily honestly answered, "Just, promise me that you'll treat me like a normal person. Please?"

"Sorry no can do," Ethan said, "You were never normal in the first place."

Lily laughed at Ethan's comment, walking into his arms and suddenly she felt crushed as Sam joined in the hug, not wanting to feel left out.

* * *

Once word broke out that Connie was back in the department, Lily and Ethan were the first people waiting outside the office. Connie heard from Alicia that Lily wanted to talk to her, but she didn't know why she wanted a word.

"Dr Chao," Connie greeted her, "Come in, Dr Hardy, I'll be with you shortly."

"Actually Mrs Beauchamp," Lily interrupted her, "He's here to support me. I'm hoping to take tomorrow off to see the GP."

Connie frowned at the two of them, knowing they were here to swap shifts.

"I found, I found," Lily stuttered, tears starting to form.

"You found a lump," Connie completed her sentence to her, "Someone commented on your weight loss and you've seemed on edge all day."

"I'm sorry for it being short notice," Lily whispered, "I hope there is someway I can make it up to you."

"Make it up to me by beating it," Connie stated, "I don't want to lose one of the best doctors to cancer."

* * *

Iain knew it'd be hypocritical of him to have a go at Lily when he's been avoiding his own health problems. He thought about how concerned they made Sam and Ethan feel, especially once they learned that there was a chance Lily may have cancer.

He shouldn't be saying it, but he wished he had the scare instead.

"Hello, West Holby Medical Practice, how can I help?"

* * *

"Thank you, Ethan," Lily hugged him, "I just hope there was something I could do to show you how grateful I am."

"There is," Ethan answered, "Fight it! I lost my mum to cancer, I don't want to lose my best friend to it as well!"

Lily saw it then.

Fear.

The reality of her predicament is slowly starting to sink in. Her world, Iain's world and everyone else will now be completely different, all because of one word.

"I can't promise anything," Lily said, "But one way or another, I won't let it beat me!"

* * *

Lily's favourite time of day was night time.

She loves the light sent from the moon and stars, which decorate the black background. It made the sky feel less boring.

The cold air hitting her was a blessing as well, as she was feeling warm even without her thick coat.

But the main thing she loves is the sound she hears at night.

 _Bump, bump, ba-bump._

The sound she can feel as well as hear.

 _Bump, bump, ba-bump._

The sound that protects her from the horror movies her mind produces.

 _Bump, bump, ba-bump._

The sound that she would happily die listening to.

Iain's heartbeat.

"I've got the appointment changed," she reluctantly broke the sound as she felt Iain playing with her hair, "Tomorrow at 9:20."

"That's good," Iain breathed into her hair, "I've got one booked for 9:50. It's not fair for me to expect you to get checked out and not doing the same."

"Not the ideal date I expected," Lily giggled.

"Meh," Iain shrugged his shoulders, "I can name worst places."

Lily also loved the random conversations the two of them shared. They took the fear, the dread and the anxieties away, locking them all in a box. Ready to open once she woke up.

"Beside," Iain whispered, "Compare to what you're going through, mine shouldn't be that serious."

* * *

 **The saddest part of that chapter is that cancer isn't always that easy to detect. It can sometimes be mistaken for something else.**

 **I used the issue of time as I remembered an old conversation and someone told me and my class at school that if you ever needed treatment for a condition that could be stopping you from living an everyday life to get yourself checked out as soon as you can. I was fifteen when I was told this advice, ten years on. It still stuck with me.**

 **This story will not be all doom and gloom as it explores the whole journey of not only Lily and Iain, but for everyone else around them as they come to terms with the reality of the situation. The aim is to not tell the story of a couple's cancer journey, but the journey of a couple who just so happens to be battling cancer.**

 **I hope you'll enjoy it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**TheBeautifulNerd: Thank you so much for the review, I didn't mean to make you cry but it's good that the story is drawing the impact for the other characters. It was naughty of Sam and Ethan to look through Lily's phone, but it showed that they worry about Lily and Iain. There'll be more to the story.**

* * *

Chapter 4

Lily knew she wasn't a GP doctor, and judging by how she was feeling in this room, and this building, she never wants to be a Practice doctor either.

The waiting room was nearly empty, except for herself, Iain, an old man with a cough to rival Iain's and a young mother, playing with her little girl.

Lily and Iain were sat together in a collection of chairs. Three rows of seven, each set with a navy-blue chair, then a dark green chair, then a navy-blue chair, then a dark green and so on. Before arriving, Lily and Iain vowed to sit at one corner on the back row, away from all the attention that they would have been given had they sat in the middle or the front. It seemed to have worked, as the pair felt camouflaged into the atmosphere, as if they were part of the furniture.

Lily turned to the white wall behind her. To the left she can see a bookshelf, decorated with stories of love, war and natural habitats. One the top shelf, lies a sign stating, "50p a book".

All those stories, all those topics and all those characters in the building would be worth fifty pence. In fact, if each book has more than one character, then the characters would be worth as same as everyone else in the book, regardless of the role they play in the story.

Darting her eyes away from the shelves of untold stories, Lily noticed a lot of posters regarding both the practice and the public health, adding colour into what was once a white wall.

" _Is it REALLY urgent?"_

" _Are you using contraception?"_

" _Have you been for your smear?"_

Lily quickly took her eyes away from those posters. After the potential scare, she made a promise to never ignore the warnings of cancer ever again.

She then turned to the centre of the wall. Lying on the floor, was a table, knee high, completely disorganised. It wasn't easy to work out the colour of the table, as it was covered in leaflets, each one as different as the previous one.

" _Act FAST!"_

" _Have a healthy diet."_

" _Be clear on cancer."_

Needing a distraction from all the advice the leaflets are giving her, Lily quickly looked up from the table and faced the blue screen.

The only thing on the wall that does not say the word, "cancer".

Lily was scared, but she didn't know that she was scared. She only realised how she was feeling when she felt something lacing her fingers. Taking her eyes to her hand, she realised Iain had taken her hand in his, brushing her knuckles with his thumb. It didn't matter if they were in company or even if they were in a building that the two of them hated. But there is no other person they would rather be in the building, than with each other.

"Thank you," she mouthed to him.

"This is our battle," he mouthed back, "we're going to fight it."

"And we're going to win," Lily wiped the tears forming in her eyes with her free hand, as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Three more people joined them in the collection of chairs. A woman who had beautiful brown hair sat in the row in front of them, her hair tied back, and her clothes clearly took out from the top of her drawers. A young girl in her school uniform sat on the other side of their row with a leaflet in her hand. It dawned on Lily why she was here and alone. She felt for her, as it was never an easy thing to go through. The third turned out to be carrying her little boy who appeared no older than one year old. Lily clenched her teeth; she knew what he was going in for. She only hoped that there was something that can relax him afterwards.

 _Bing!_

The old man whose name is now known to the seven or eight people stood up and walked into the corridor awaiting Room 15.

It was tempting to make a joke to Iain about being the oldest man in the room, but Lily couldn't find the strength inside herself to make a joke, or even the slightest funny remark. Her voice disappeared the moment she woke up, this morning. The fear of the bug, Iain's health scare and the cancer had replaced her voice.

The squeeze in her left hand only put her mind at ease. The one thing that is relaxing her is right beside her, going through a scare of his own. But the difference between the two of them is that he doesn't show his fear. The top concern that he has right now, is her.

 _Bing!_

Lily looked up at the screen only to see the mother calling her daughter. Lily watched as they disappeared into the same corridor as the old man, but to another room.

Her own GP was running a bit late herself.

The bugs slowly started to creep into her skin again, at the worst possible time. Reluctantly separating her hand from Iain's, Lily stroked her hand over the area of irritation that luckily, was in her arms.

 _Bing!_

Lily tried not to look up at the screen, knowing there's a one in five chance she'll be called in.

"Lily," Iain whispered to her, drawing her attention to the screen.

 _Lily Chao_

 _Room 8_

 _Doctor H. Grange_

Lily inhaled as she stood up, exhaling five seconds after. Looking towards the corridor, the old man walked out, looking more relaxed than he did when he walked in.

Iain stood up beside her, taking her hand, "Do you want me to go with you?"

Lily wished that he could go with her, but then what will become of his own appointment?

"It's fine," Lily reassured him, "By the time, we're finished, you'll already be called in."

"Okay," Iain sighed, "Let me know how it goes, okay?"

"Will do."

Lily reluctantly walked away from Iain and into the corridor. A small straight corridor with light blue walls at both sides, leading to a junction with a navy banner pointing at where they needed to go in white letters.

Rooms one to six to the left.

Rooms seven to sixteen to right.

Lily took a deep breath, before she took a turn to the right. It dawned on her that one side of the corridor were filled with odd numbers, and the even numbers were filling the other side. The first door to the right was the destination she wanted to reach.

Lily walked over to the door and knocked three times.

* * *

It didn't seem like a normal day of work when she was paired up with another paramedic. Okay, Sam will admit, it wouldn't be easier for Iain whilst he's at the doctors following Lily's scare.

Luckily for Sam, the moment of strangeness will soon be over. Every hour, she kept checking her phone for a message from Iain or Lily. Still no answer.

But no news is good news.

"Not in the mood Knight!" she shouted as soon as she saw Cal walking over to her.

Ever since she came back, Sam learned that she attracted the attention from the Register. And she was flattered, until Dylan warned her that he is a "bit of a player".

"You're good Nicholls," he chuckled, "I take it that's a no for a drink?"

"I heard things about you," Sam folded her arms, "How am I different from all the tarts you've been with?"

"I wouldn't say that in front of the girls," Cal joked, "Okay, that was insensitive. Let me buy you one drink, even if its just for you to throw at me."

"Try harder," Sam walked away from him.

* * *

"Good morning, Dr Chao," Dr Grange greeted her, with her raven hair tied back, "Can I help you with anything?"

It was at this moment; Lily had felt as if everything was out of place. The clock at the wall didn't have the numbers on, but rather the numbers have been replaced with a message. That W should be a one and the three Is should be a twelve, a two and a six. In fact, the letters spelling "YOU" should be a nine, a ten and eleven.

The clock should be saying the numbers.

Instead it reads a message in clockwise.

"I WILL KILL YOU."

It would have been easy for Lily to bolt out of the room, walk out of the building and never walk back in. But doing so would have given those bugs something to hold against her. Those bugs have been causing her nothing but grief.

The threat of cancer was causing her nothing but grief.

"For, for," Lily began to stutter, wishing she accepted Iain's offer.

Now, Lily was losing her voice. But Lily wasn't sure what was taking her voice away. Was it the bugs? Was it the lump? Or was it the future that Lily Chao had dreamt of for years, which is now starting to fade away from her grasp?

But whilst the room was fading away, someone stayed in the image of the dream, and he was going nowhere.

Iain.

The bugs, the threat and the future suddenly realised who they were dealing with, but Lily noticed that it'll be a while before they truly go away and leave her alone.

But they were at least kind enough to give her back her stolen voice.

"You okay?" Dr Grange asked her, "anything I can help with?"

"I am now, thank you," Lily sighed, looking back at the clock which now said the numbers again, "I just needed to take a deep breath."

"Okay," Dr Grange whispered, "Take your time."

"Okay," Lily closed her eyes, keeping the image that was giving her strength, "For a few weeks, I've been dealing with itchy skin," Lily inhaled, exhaled and then continued, "I've checked all over, but there doesn't seem to be a rash," inhale, exhale, continue, "I told my partner but when he was trying to cheer me up, he-he found…"

Lily learned that someone was trying to conceal her lump away from the raven-haired doctor.

"Take your time," Dr Grange reassured her.

But no matter how hard Lily tried to say it, nothing was coming out. The bugs were determined to stop her telling her GP about the lump. Especially considering, she would be the one who can support Lily with the weapons she'll need to fight them.

Lily then thought back to the little girl with selective mutism.

How did she feel when she couldn't speak?

What control did her mother have over her?

And what did she do to get her voice back?

Lily swept her hair to the side, showing Dr Grange the lump that Iain had found two days ago. The bugs, threats and uncertainty were so focused on stealing Lily's voice, they didn't think about other methods that Lily could use to explain the lump.

"He found this," Lily explained, allowing Dr Grange to have a look at the lump.

"Okay," she moved forward to examine the lump.

"I'm scared," Lily teared up, now wishing Iain was with her, "I'm worried, it, could, could, be cancer."

"Okay," Dr Grange whispered, "Am I okay to feel it?"

After nodding, Lily turned so that the lump was facing Dr Grange. Lily felt the touch as well as the lump. It didn't feel squishy and wherever Dr Grange touches the lump, it didn't seem to move, almost as if the lump was fixed onto her neck.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions, just to rule anything out."

"Okay," Lily whispered, fully aware of what the questions are, but Dr Grange was nice, and she was only doing her job.

"I understand you don't smoke," Dr Grange noted, looking at Lily's notes, "is that still the case?"

"Yes," Lily answered, as quiet as a mouse.

"Okay," she continued, "And you don't drink excessively," another nod, "Okay, did you have any infections lately?"

Lily thought back to a week before she noticed the bugs. No one came into the ED with any signs of itchy skin, or unexplained weight loss or with a virus. If there were any signs of infections, then it would have been notified straight away.

"Not that I'm aware of," Lily answered.

"Okay," Dr Grange continued, "Did you experience any other symptoms?"

Two others came into Lily's mind but only one of them looked clear.

" _What's your secret?"_

When Alicia commented on her weight loss, Lily knew something doesn't sound right. She doesn't exercise as often as she should, and she spoils herself during her and Iain's date nights. In her eyes. She should have been putting the weight on, instead of losing the weight.

"My colleagues commented on me losing weight," Lily commented, "There was also something else, but I didn't think about it."

"What was that?" Dr Grange asked.

"I've been feeling a bit too hot," Lily finally answered, "I thought it was nothing."

And she did. When Gem was complaining about it being cold, Lily and Iain thought she was going mad. And Lily went by that statement, until she walked in that stuffy ambulance when Iain told her that Sam was complaining of the cold.

Before she had to stop his nose from bleeding.

"Okay," Dr Grange answered, "I'm going to book you an urgent referral with a hematologist, so we can investigate even further."

The fear slowly started to build up again, and Lily doesn't know how to react. Did a part of her expect another reason for her symptoms? Or reassurance?

Lily thought the scariest thing was finding the lump, how wrong was she?

"Please, don't panic," Dr Grange reassured her, "This is normal protocol, if we find something sooner, we can have a better chance of treating it."

* * *

"Your brother is a pain in the neck!" Sam complained as she entered the staffroom.

"Oh, you just found that out?" Ethan asked her, putting his phone down, "He's been like that for a good while now."

"He tried to ask me out," Sam explained, "I told him straight, I'm not being one of his floozies he can dump after one night!"

"Question," Ethan smirked, "Did you say that to Lily?"

"No."

"Can I please be there when you tell her?"

Sam suddenly remembered why she went to Ethan. The two of them agreed to inform each other should they get any contact back from Lily or Iain surrounding the appointment.

"You haven't heard anything either?" Sam asked him.

"No," Ethan sighed, "Are we being unrealistic?"

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it," Ethan suggested as Sam sat down, "if it isn't good news, it won't be a straight away diagnosis. It'll just mean Lily will have to go to hospital for further testing. That fear is enough to upset anyone, including Lily as they still won't know what is happening."

Sam begins to realise that Ethan has got a point. No one wants their privacy interrupted. Hell, the two of them weren't meant to find out that Lily was going through a cancer scare.

"What if it is good news?" Sam asked, not wanting hope to disappear.

"Then Lily and Iain will be too busy celebrating," Ethan chuckled, "And I can tell Lily what you said about Cal."

"Tell me she didn't," Sam gasped, horrified.

"People can surprise you," Ethan beamed, before he realised what he just did, "Please don't tell Lily I told you, she'll kill me."

* * *

Iain drove the car in silence, ignoring the music playing in the radio. The decision not to pay attention to the radio was made the moment he saw the redness in Lily's eyes. Its clear she didn't feel like talking, meaning that the doctor suspected what the two of them were dreading. It wouldn't be fair on him to get her to talk, so he decided to let her make the first move.

"How did your appointment go?"

Iain didn't expect those words to come out, but he was focused on supporting Lily that he had forgotten that fifteen minutes after she went in to see her GP, he went in to see his.

The only reason the doctor had for his coughing fits was a suspected case of Bronchitis, in which he was being prescribed Ibuprofen to reduce the inflammation of his airways. But the nose bleeds, however, were unexplained so the doctor has told him to go back for a blood test, just to be safe.

"They suspect it's a chest infection," he answered, "But they want me to go in for a blood test tomorrow to check my iron levels."

"We've both got to go back?" Lily asked, "Do they really hate us?"

Iain said nothing. It was just nice to hear Lily's voice again, full of love, happiness and hope.

He doesn't want to go back for that blood test, but it would help them both to address anything else that would be giving them both griefs.

"They're also referring me to a haematologist in a few weeks," Lily explained, keeping her eyes on the road, "I'm glad I listened to you."

"Hey, you helped me as well," Iain smiled, before realising where they are.

He pulled over to the side, to Lily's confusion and got out of the car. Lily followed him out and realised where they are.

They were standing at a side of a mouldy stone fence, height the size of their waists, giving them a clear view of the other side. The breeze wasn't as cooling as either of them hoped, but the barley swayed from left to right. It looked beautiful. Lily watched as Iain grabbed his phone, searching his apps for his compass, turning around to find north. When he found it, Iain motioned Lily to walk in front of him. When she listened, she felt one arm wrapped around her waist, and Iain's chin resting on her right shoulder as he held his phone out in front of them.

Lily soon realised, looking at the Barley that the wind was blowing to the west. Looking up, she found the sun was shining, not a cloud in sight.

"Amazing," Lily whispered, in love with the view.

"We can get through this," Iain smiled at her, "Just like we've been through everything else."

"Yeah," Lily turned around and locked her lips with his, before resting her forehead on his, "Thank you."

* * *

 **I'm sorry it's been a while since I've posted anything on here. For a while, my mental health has been shocking but thanks to some counselling, I suddenly found the motivation to carry on doing the things I love doing, including writing.**

 **This is one of the hardest chapters I had to write about as I had to look up what happens in a GP surgery for the diagnosis sector, but I hope it is realistic enough.**

 **Please Review xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm not convince that this is the best chapter that I've done so far, but more of a filler chapter.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

Iain was slowly pouring water into the two mugs when Lily walked into the kitchen. It wasn't the fact that they start at the same time, or in fact finish at the same time; but both were nervous, knowing that it was the first shift they're going to have since their blood tests a few days ago. Both knew that when Ethan and Sam are going to talk to them, they'll have to explain that they still don't know what's wrong with Lily.

"Still feeling numb after Wednesday?" Iain asked as Lily rubbed her arm on the location that they drew blood.

"I still feel like they drew the life out of me," Lily groaned, taking one of the mugs and bringing it to her lips.

"I felt like a zombie," he chuckled, "I felt like I had the need to crave blood."

"That's a vampire," Lily reminded him, "Zombies go after the brains."

It only took one look before Lily suddenly wished she never made that statement. Before she could roll her eyes, Iain scooped her in his arms, bringing his lips to her hair.

"Iain," Lily groaned, trying not to smile, "Let go!"

"Oh, come on!" Iain pleaded, "You've got a massive brain, one bite of it won't change anything!"

Lily and Iain loved those moments. The laughter they shared together took away all the stresses that they were going through in this moment of time. Looking back to the week that they were going through, they need the laughter. As the two of them completely forgotten what was worrying them which meant the vampire and zombie debate served as a good distraction.

"Get a room!"

Lily and Iain's laughter were suddenly brought to a halt when Gem called out to them both. When Gem learned that they swapped shifts with another doctor and paramedic, she was suddenly concerned. Truth be told, what could anyone say to her? How could they explain to her what is going on?

She might not understand and rightly so.

People still think cancer is a death sentence.

In fact, when Iain found the lump on Lily's neck, both had the same thought.

 _How long do they have left?_

"Mail came in time," she beamed with the mail in hand, "All we get are catalogues!"

Gem kept moving the mail from the top to the bottom. Each one stating special offers, sales and even the seasonal promotions. Three catalogues have been delivered today.

Along with-

"Oh, an envelope!" Gem rejoiced with a smile, before reading who it's for, "Oh, it's for Lily."

Gem hands the envelope to Lily, but one thing caught her eye to the bottom right hand corner. The NHS Logo.

"Oh, it's just training," Lily sighed, "There's a date for a training course, nothing important."

"Right," Gem said, grabbing her coat, "I'm going to walk it in today, I was going to meet Rash on the way to work. Oh shoot, I left my purse upstairs."

Once Gem left the room, it gave Lily a quick opportunity to open the envelope. There were no training seminars that are taking place this month. But Gem doesn't need to know that.

The letter was from the Haematology Department. In there contains the date of Lily's appointment, the time and what the appointment will consist of. That's the place where the answers will be uncovered. The place where Lily will get the news that she's waiting for. And most importantly-

That's when they can finally work out what is wrong with Lily.

"When is it?" Iain asks her, looking over her shoulder.

"November 1st," Lily smiled at him, "Three days after what would have been my appointment."

Iain was alarmed when Lily brought it up. It was the 29th October that Lily's original appointment was booked for and right now it would have been a scary thought over when the original appointment with the hospital would have been.

"Please don't say that," Iain pleaded with her, "I thought we agreed on not talking about it."

"Doesn't mean we can't forget about it," Lily raised her eyebrows, "You may have saved my life."

"Also, please don't do that all you're my hero," Iain groaned, "It's sickening."

"I won't," Lily commented, reading the letter, "Looks like I'm going in for a CT scan and some blood tests."

"Couldn't they work that out from," Iain suddenly lost his train of thought when he heard Gem going closer and closer.

Lily followed his gaze and looked at the envelope. The fear was slowly rising in her, completely taking over. She turned around and remembered the set of drawers and pulls the top on open, placed the envelope there and quickly shut it before they even noticed the doorknob turning.

"Right," Gem beamed, grabbing her phone off the table, "I'll see you two in a bit. I feel for you both."

"Shut up, part-timer," Iain scoffed as she walked out the room.

Lily and Iain both made the mutual silence decision to walk to the doorway and watch as Gem walked out of the flat. As soon as she left, they both walked into the sitting room, coffee mugs in hand. They wanted to check Gem remembered everything, to reduce the likelihood of her coming back in to overhear anything that the two of them were sharing.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Iain asked her, "By not telling her?"

"I don't know," Lily admitted, sitting down onto the sofa, "On the one hand, I want to tell her. But on the other hand, what do I say?"

"Hey now," Iain joined her on the sofa, "Do you remember what I said Tuesday? This is our battle. Whatever you're going through, I'll be with you. I'm not letting you tell her alone."

"How would she take it?" Lily asked her, "I know cancer isn't a death sentence, but I'm scared of what it can do."

"I know," Iain sighed, pulling her in his arms, "Oh, I wish we could swap places, I know that sounds bad, but if I could take away the fear you're going through, it'll be enough."

* * *

Sam decided to spend half an hour before her shift lifting weights. It was a perfect way for her to get her muscles in gear and gain a bit of energy before starting her shift. (Push up) It was also Iain's first day back following Lily's appointment, (and relax) so it's nice to get back into normality again. (Push up) She also needs to see how Lily is feeling since, (And relax) there was no answer or call from either of them. (Push up) Maybe Ethan was right, (And relax) maybe they shouldn't be intrusive after the fright they had.

"Looking good," Sam groaned when she heard that one voice.

"You can't take a hint, can you?" Sam asked as she set the weights down and sat up to face Cal, "I told you yesterday and the day before. I. AM. NOT. INTERESTED!"

"Are you kidding me?" Cal asked her, "One drink, that's all I'm asking. I've even got a white shirt so the stain can't be easily removed. And I'll even throw another at myself."

"Listen," Sam mentioned, "I've told you a million times! Not now, of all times, not when my best friend's going through,"

"What?" Cal asked.

Sam froze when she realised what she nearly did. She forgotten that the only people who know about Lily's potential cancer where Connie, Jan and Ethan. It suddenly dawned on her that Cal doesn't know what's going on. And she nearly sold out Lily's cancer secret.

"My, err, err," Sam struggled to find the right words when Lily and Iain came into view.

"Cal," Lily and Iain managed to save Sam from Cal's questioning nature, "How did the presentation go last week?"

"It went well," Cal answered, "But I don't think I got the pitch."

"Better luck next time mate," Iain smiled at him.

"Come on," Lily suggested, "Go through it with me, we'll see how it went before we start."

Iain smiled when he saw Lily bend her middle and ring finger and swung her hand three times. It was something that he has taught her to slowly communicate with each other and say "I agree with you" or "I've got this" when other people are around. He knew Cal was interested in Sam, the moment he laid eyes on her. Sam even asked about him, but Iain didn't want to tell Sam anything about Cal. But the two of them are similar and Iain just wished they would just talk to each other, without it being a debate.

Sam and Iain both watched as Lily walked away with Cal. Sam must admit, she was relieved Lily managed to get Cal away. She just can't stand men like him, so obnoxious, so vain, so full of themselves.

"You owe her one," Iain stated, "Ethan messaged her last night and asked us to keep an eye out in case he tries it on with you again."

"Yeah thanks," Sam sighed, "How did it go Tuesday? Any news?"

"We still don't know," Iain explained, "We got a letter back today. She's in for a few tests at the hospital."

"How are you coping?" Sam asked him, "And Gem?"

"I'm more worried about Lily," Iain answered, "I know cancer isn't a death sentence, and I know there's a chance it might not even be cancer, but all I keep thinking about is how long do we have left?"

"I understand," Sam sighed, "It's not easy."

"I know," Iain said, before remembering one question that Sam had asked but it slipped his mind, "About that."

* * *

"You were right about your brother," Lily stated when she entered the staffroom, "He tried it on with Sam again this morning. I had to drag him away."

"And you said I was going crazy," Ethan chuckled, deciding to set another mug out for Lily, "Milk and sugar?"

"Yes please," Lily sighed, "Sorry I didn't answer your messages. I know I must had worried you."

"No, I understand," Ethan smiled at her, "If it was bad news, you'd be processing it and if it was good news, you'd be too busy celebrating. So, how did it go?"

Lily was reluctant to tell Ethan the truth about how the appointment went. She didn't want to terrify him by giving him the full details of the appointment, but if she told him it went well and then she suddenly felt ill, he wouldn't forgive her. But telling Ethan the full story would also mean reliving the whole details, as the bugs took her voice away as well as the message that was left to her by the clock. What can she say to Ethan, without lying or reliving her nightmare?

"They booked me in with the haematologist on the first of November," Lily answered before she caught a glimpse of Gem, "Listen just play along please."

"What?" Ethan looked confused, even more so when Gem entered the room.

"So, I've been fancying a change," Lily changed the subject, taking a strand of her hair, "I've asked Alicia what colours she thought go with brunette? She suggested blonde but I'm not sure."

Ethan looked at Lily confused until he saw Gem walk along. It soon dawned on him that Lily and Iain haven't told her what is happening and by judging by the way Lily is acting, they're not telling her either.

"Hiya," Gem smiled as she grabbed her bag, "It turns out I forgot I swapped shifts with another porter. Glad I realised it now."

Lily giggled as Gem started walked away, taking her phone out and walking away. Her moment of happiness silently died down as she is struggling to deal with the guilt of keeping something huge from her. Lily hated lying but would Gem be able to cope with the news when they don't know what is happening?

Are they really doing the right thing?

"Gem," Lily called out, "I know this is a bad time, but can we talk this evening? Please?"

"Okay," Gem said, "Is everything okay?"

* * *

Sam couldn't get her hand around it. How could Iain and Lily not tell Gem? She had the right to know! She's Iain's little sister for crying out loud! What are they afraid of? She's an adult, just like they are, she should know how to react to this sort of news. It's not fair on her, she has a right to know.

"Oh God," Sam was brought back to reality when she saw Cal linger again, she slowly tapped Iain on the shoulder, "Does he ever stop?"

"Sadly no," Iain chuckled, "Hey, you should be happy. You got a not-so-secret admirer."

"Who is vain, shallow and obnoxious," Sam muttered, deciding to just ignore him as she sees him walking towards them.

Even though he would be mean doing it, Iain wanted to see how long it will be before someone gives up this endless game of cat and mouse. It must have been torture for both, but they're equally as hard as nails and they would make a good match for each other. Although, thinking about it, it would be awkward, given Cal did have a one-night stand with Lily, that's the only issue Iain would have with it. But with the cancer fear Lily is going through, and the news about his own health, Iain could do with a distraction.

"Sam have you ever heard of people living in glassed houses?" Iain asked her, "You shouldn't throw bricks, you're just as vain, shallow and obnoxious as he is."

"Whose side are you on?" Sam asked him, offended.

Iain was just about to answer, when he felt something vibrating in his left trouser pocket. Reaching out for it, he found that his phone was going off.

"I'd best take this," Iain smirked, as he slowly walked into the office.

"Iain," Sam pleaded with him, "Please don't leave me with him."

As soon as Iain walked into the office and closed the door, Sam knew she was doomed to be alone with Cal for five minutes. Things couldn't get anymore worse for her at this very moment.

"Is he okay?" Cal asked her as they watched him walk into the room, "He seemed distracted. It's not like him."

Sam froze when she realised that it was Iain, Cal wanted to see. Did Lily reveal to Cal about what was going on? Or does Cal put two and two together and make five? Maybe he's trying to use Iain to worm his ways into Sam's good books? Or maybe the paramedic has gotten him all wrong and is generally worried.

"Did Lily tell you anything?" Sam asked him, "Anything at all?"

"Nothing apart from, 'Leave Sam alone! She made it clear, it's not going to happen.'," Cal stated, "Why?"

Sam must admit, she felt relieved that Lily had told him to back off. But now she felt terrified; Cal knew that there is something not right with Iain and Lily but what would she be if she told him? Lily and Iain didn't want anyone to know, she remembered that she and Ethan weren't meant to know what was going on, but they just worked it out.

The paramedic struggled to find the right thing to say when she suddenly heard footsteps. After initially mistaking them for Jan, she suddenly heard it to be the sound of heels.

Only one person with heels would come to the ambulance bay.

"Sam," she turned around to see Lily, who looked at Cal, "Seriously, Dr Knight, can't you take a hint?"

Sam smirked when she saw the look on Cal's face. It feels good to know that Lily is on her side. But Sam realised that Lily was looking out for her as she knows Cal better than she did and didn't want her to get hurt.

"Is everything okay Lily?" Cal asked her, "Something seems off with Iain."

"Actually, I came here to talk to him," Lily explained, "I needed to tell him something. Is he here?"

"He's in the office," Sam answered as she pointed to the door.

"Thank you," Lily smiled before walking into the room.

* * *

"Okay," Iain finished his call, "I'll see you tomorrow."

As soon as he put down his phone, he heard a knock on the door before it opens, revealing Lily as she entered the room. He carefully watched as she looked out the window, wondering if Cal and Sam are still arguing over that possibly of a drink. When she watched them turn away, she gently closed the door and sat down beside Iain on the sofa.

"Is everything okay?" Lily asked him.

"Yeah," he answered, slowly standing up to watch Cal and Sam, "I take it they're still at it?"

"You left her on her own?" Lily asked him in horror, "He'll give up eventually."

"Disagree," Iain argued, "She'll give in to him. The game of playing hard to get won't last."

"I think we just agreed on our first bet," Lily smirked at him.

"I think we just agreed on a bet you're going to lose Dr Chao," Iain smirked back, "Anyway, what brings you here?"

After the first appointment, Lily and Iain spent the night debating on one of the main issues that they'll have to deal with. Gem. Now, she's blissfully unaware of what has been going on between the two, and they've tried hard to hide the matter of hand. Iain wanted to tell her that somethings not right but they're going to get to the bottom of it, but they're not sure about what is going on. How are they going to tell Iain's little sister to understand, when they don't understand themselves?

"I think Gem should know," Lily looked at him, "I know I said let's not tell her before, but me and Ethan, she nearly caught us out. I've asked her if we could have a word in a bit."

Iain expected a lot of things, but he wasn't expecting Lily to say that Gem needs to know. When the two of them were talking about letting her know, Iain wanted her to know, but he feared she'd be upset or angry about the possibly of their family being ruined by the one word everyone wished didn't exist. Gem spent her whole life living in vulnerability and this could only make matters worse.

But what if they never told her and she finds out on her own? Would she be understanding about why they didn't tell her? Would she be angry with them? Or would she hate them for leaving her left out of the lurch?

"Are you sure?" Iain asked Lily, "This isn't up to me, but are you certain you want her to know?"

"Yes," Lily answered, "I had to cover up the conversation I had with Ethan by saying I was going to make a change with my hair. I hated doing it, but she walked away afterwards."

"Do you think she'd understand?" Iain asked her.

"I'm not sure," Lily admitted, "I'm just terrified that if I did have cancer, then she'd be upset but more so that we never told her sooner."

It soon dawned on Iain that Lily might be right about that. He could have that faint image of them talking to a future child, explaining to them about what is going on.

But like he said, cancer isn't a death sentence like it was years ago, and if anyone is strong enough to fight it, it'd be Lily Chao.

"Maybe not tonight," Iain suggested, "I don't want her to stay awake with worry."

"How about tomorrow morning?" Lily suggested, "We could break the news to her gently and spend the day, making sure she's okay."

"Sounds good," Iain smiled, pulling her in for a hug, "Tomorrow sounds good."

They stayed in the position which felt like second nature to the two of them. Lily felt warm and protected in Iain's arms, almost as if she was meant to be there. Looking back, Lily just couldn't imagine how she managed without Iain, even when they worked together for a year beforehand.

Life would have been easier then if they had gotten together sooner.

It may have given them more time.

"Anyway," Lily broke away, "I'd best go and fix the damage you caused out there before Sam murders Cal."

"Good luck," Iain chuckled before realising something.

Iain watched carefully as Lily walked out of the office, and over to Sam and Cal who seemed to have settled down following their disagreement. Not one pair of eyes looked towards him and the office.

This gave him the opportunity to go through his phone and access his calendar. He accessed the date for tomorrow and skimmed to one in the afternoon. After selecting it, he typed in three words.

 _Blood Test Results._

* * *

 **Again, it's not the best chapter. But writing it was a lot harder than I thought, but a big shout of to TheBeautifulNerd, for looking through the chapter.**

 **Please Review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**What this chapter was originally about was meant to be in chapter five, but I had a feeling that there needed to be a filler chapter, adding on about Gem.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

Lily and Iain stayed awake all night with all kind of thoughts swimming in their minds since the two of them are planning on telling Gem about Lily's potential cancer nightmare.

The bugs suddenly decided to give Lily a nightmare once again, but she just gently patted her arms where they began to irritate her, and they finally left her alone. Once they settled, Lily move her hand back onto her side when she found Iain's hand. It was easy for her to recognise that he was awake, the moment she felt her fingers intertwine with his. Lily turned her head to check but was still alarmed to discover that his eyes were still open.

"Couldn't sleep either?" she whispered, startling him to discover she was awake.

"I don't know how she'll take it," Iain admitted, "She's blissfully next door, fast asleep, not a care in the world and we'll be bringing that on her."

"I'm scared as well," Lily admitted, "But what if we never tell her? It'll hurt her not knowing."

Iain could tell Lily was starting to panic, so he carefully scoops her in his arms, leaning his lips on her hair. Drawing smooth circles on her back, he became startled when he heard a slight giggle.

"Sorry," Lily took a deep breath, "It'll be a while before I get that zombie reference out of my system."

Iain looked at her confused, before he remembered what she meant. Yesterday morning, when she had to remind him what zombies crave. Suddenly, the image is in his mind and now he doesn't think he'll be able to look at a zombie movie or a group of people in zombie attire ever again. Not without laughing. But there was nothing funny about zombies, but he now can't look at Lily and think of zombies and keep a straight face.

"Thanks for that," Iain muttered, "Now I can't think of zombies without keeping a straight face. Blamey we're going to be terrible with horror movies."

Lily giggled into him, now the stresses of what is happening finally clearing away.

* * *

Iain walked into the sitting room, to find Lily setting up magazines into a pile. It was only half eleven in the morning, but Lily has quickly transformed the coffee table from what was once a table scattered with game controllers and magazines to a table where you can see the wood for a change.

"No sign of Gem?" Iain asked her.

"We got out of bed at ten," she giggled, "She was already out of the flat by then. I think it'll be two when she gets back."

"What gives you that suggestion?" Iain asked her before she handed him a note, "You could have said she left a note."

"Yeah," she smiled, "I could."

Iain rolled his eyes at Lily's slight evil grin. He forgot Gem was out meeting an old friend this morning and wouldn't be back for a few hours. It left Iain and Lily with an empty flat for a while.

"You going to be in all morning?" Iain asked her.

"Yeah," Lily answered, "Where are you going?"

Iain suddenly realised that Lily hasn't received a phone call about her blood test. If it weren't for the fact that she was going to see a specialist, she could have been called up. So why now, was he being alerted by the doctors about something not quite right, and not Lily?

Something isn't right.

But he can't let Lily know that. They both thought that his symptoms are related to an infection and she thought of nothing else past that. Looking back, he can't worry her, not while she's going through her scare.

"I've swapped a shift with Sam for next week," he lied, "Only I can't remember which shift it was, so I'm going to find out."

"Couldn't you just call her?" Lily asked him.

"Unfortunately, no," Iain answered, "She's gone out of town to visit her mum. She said she got it sorted."

"Okay," Lily smiled, "Just remember to change your calendar the next time you agree to swap a shift."

* * *

Sam's words yesterday still stuck with Cal. Iain was one of Cal's best mates but why he's suddenly acting strange lately is behind him. He and Lily both swapped shifts on Tuesday on such a short notice that something didn't seem right but neither of them are saying anything. Cal tried to find out Lily's side from Ethan, but his little brother was saying nothing about it but that it'll be best that he doesn't know.

Cal understood that couples can have secrets but not to the extent that they suddenly become out of character.

Those two shouldn't be on his mind in the first place. Not on his day off at least.

But something is off with them both.

Cal decided to carry on walking when he caught a glance of Sam jogging. He was confused, as she said to everyone that she was off to visit her mother. So why is she here instead?

"Sam?" Cal called out, attracting her attention.

"Crap."

* * *

Iain arrived back into the flat an hour after setting off, to get his results. He watched as Lily filled the bowl with Oreos, Party Rings, Jammy Dodgers and any other biscuits that she could find hidden within the cupboard. He looked at the clock, realising that Gem will be back any minute before turning to Lily. She was already nervous about telling Gem the truth and Iain couldn't blame her. You build a bond with someone to the point of identifying them as a sibling and then you drop the bombshell that you could have something that could potentially kill you, Iain is terrified for her.

He can't tell her about his results, not whilst she's terrified about her own nightmare.

"Hi," she snapped him out of his thoughts, "Did you find out which shift it was?"

It suddenly dawned on Iain that he covered up his results with the story of swapping shifts with Sam. He was so focused over what was said, he's forgotten to come up with a cover story.

"I could have murdered Sam," Iain muttered under his breath, "Came in to check and Jan told me she decided not to swap shifts after all! She could have at least told me!"

Lily smiled at the statement, before taking a packaging into the rubbish.

"What's all this?" Iain asked her, taking the bowl, "Are these really necessary?"

"They could be," Lily sighed, "Sorry, I was brought up in a family where all bad news was delivered with some biscuits. They always made me feel better."

"Sounds good," Iain placed the biscuits onto the table and settled down onto the sofa.

Iain turned to notice that his rucksack was left open. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but he was hiding something important that he didn't want anyone to see. Carefully, he closed the flap and zipped it up before Lily could walk back into the room, before reaching out for an Oreo.

"Hands off!" he groaned when Lily walked into the room, "The first person to grab one is the recipient of the bad news!"

"I am," Iain called out, "I've just been told I couldn't reach out for one!"

* * *

"So, this is visiting your mother?" Cal smirked at Sam who was annoyed at being caught out, "How many people did you lie to?"

"Not enough apparently," Sam muttered, "Look every now and then, I lie about visiting my mother just so I don't have to socialise with anyone. I'm allowed to some quiet time."

"So, how many know the truth?" Cal asked her.

"Just one," Sam answered, "Name your price."

Cal found it unfair to exploit Sam's secret now. Whilst she's going through keeping another secret, he wants to know why Iain is acting shifty suddenly. It's not like him at all.

"I'm not," Cal held his hands up, "You've been going through a stressful time of it lately and me blackmailing you isn't going to make things easier."

"Who are you?" Sam asked, "And what have you done to Cal Knight?"

"Listen," Cal admitted, "I was a 'bit of a player' my actions of measly one-night stands have hurt a lot of girls. There was one girl, I called 'easy' and after seeing how hurt she was, I vowed never to treat women like that again."

"Sounds like she must have been the one," Sam smirked.

"No," Cal smiled, "She got off with someone else and they're really strong. In a way, I'm glad it happened, she never looked happier then as she does now."

Sam suddenly thought deeply into Cal's words. Did she really think a leopard couldn't change his spots? Or had what Cal did to that girl really open his eyes to the phrase 'actions have consequences'. Suddenly, the paramedic had seen him in a new light, it was as if she could warm up to him.

"I made the same mistake twice," Sam explained, "As you were aware, I was married to Dylan but when I was deployed in the army, I cheated on him with this man. What I didn't know was that this man had fallen in love with me. I played him like a fool. When I saw him again, I was in another relationship, and I once again slept with him before deciding to marry the other guy. I played with his feelings and looking back, I hated myself for that."

"So, what happened to the guy you cheated with?" Cal asked her.

"He met someone else as well," Sam smiled, "And right now, they're going through a nightmare. But all that horror seemed to have done was bring them closer together. I can't picture one living without the other."

"Sounds like the girl I messed with," Cal smirked, "They're hiding something right now. But they won't tell me what it is."

* * *

Gem came into the flat and was dumbfound over what she has seen. This morning when she left, the table was scattered with television remotes, gaming controllers and magazines, left behind by who she can describe as the 'Messiest couple on Earth'. Now what she is seeing is an actual table. One with only the magazines in a neat pile and a bowl of biscuits on the surface.

"Hello," Gem called out, "Aliens, take what you want, please don't hurt me!"

She walked into the sitting room to see Iain and Lily standing by the doorframe. Gem was confused over them both as they both looked like the colour has drained away from their faces. It looked as if they were about to throw something at her which could knock her down for six.

"How was your morning?" Lily asked her.

"It was fine thanks," Gem slowly approached them, feeling nervous over what they were going to tell her.

"Good," Iain looked away, "Listen, get yourself settled, we need to tell you something."

Gem took her coat off and hung it onto the back of one of the kitchen chairs. She sat down on the sofa where she found that Lily had filled it in with Party Rings, Jammy Dodgers and to her delight, Oreos. To her brother's annoyance, Gem grabs one from the bowl.

"Is everything okay?" Gem enjoyed the biscuit, "You're not kicking me out right?"

"No, we're not kicking you out," Iain sighed, "We need to give you a heads up about something that's been happening."

"What?"

Lily felt nervous about how they're going to break the news to her. She suddenly felt as if she was breaking the news to her own child. The bugs are slowly trying to get one final laugh in her arm, but Iain brushed her arm gently. It settled the bugs slightly as they decide to go deeper into Lily's skin, deciding to bother Lily whilst Iain isn't there.

"A few days ago," Lily took a deep breath before exhaling, "We found a lump at the side of my neck."

Gem froze when she learned this. A lump is often associated with one thing.

"You've got cancer?" Gem asked horrified, about to stand up.

"We don't know for sure," Iain reached out to take her hand, he saw the pain in his sister's eyes, "She's been booked in for an appointment for a week's end for more tests."

"But it could be," Gem was trying to process it all.

When she laid her eyes on her brother at the young offenders', Gem started to hate her brother for abandoning her. She hated him even more when she received an additional sentence following her decision to run away from her officer. But looking back, it wasn't Iain's fault as Lily took a gamble to expose the abuse she was experiencing at the hands of her officer. Although she hated Lily for getting her banged up, she slowly begun to understand why she did it. It was only small bruising, but it could have been more serious. Looking back now, she owed Lily her life.

She owed Lily more than that when she convinced her to give things another chance with Iain. Gem was going to run away and leave her troubled family life behind but where would she have gone if she did? She would have been struggling to survive as she couldn't read or write or do maths, so finding a job wasn't going to be easy for her. If Lily hadn't convinced her to talk to Iain, then chances are, she wouldn't even be alive.

Now, Lily is going through a difficult time. Gem doesn't need to watch any adverts to know that cancer is a vicious disease. It robs the sufferer of their personality and self-worth. That part was only the start of it. Your future is shaped dramatically and what was worse, was that everyone around you are feeling the pain from your suffering. The worst part of the story, was that there's a chance you may not live to tell the tale, leaving behind a lot of heart broken people.

Lily can't have it; Gem can't lose her. She saved their family.

"Gem," Lily whispered, before Gem ran into her arms.

"Lily," Gem sobbed into her, "This isn't fair. Why? You've done nothing wrong?"

Iain clenched his eyes shut. He wasn't expecting this from his little sister. But Gem had a point there, Lily did nothing wrong at all! It just proves that cancer doesn't care who you are, or what you do, or even how you are. But it can strike you at any moment, at any age, at any time. Gem and Lily aren't even sisters so for Gem to react the way she did was painful to watch.

* * *

The coffee shop seemed quiet for the afternoon rush, but it was the only place that wasn't so busy. There were five tables, two at the back which each seat four people, one in the front of the coffee bar, seating only two people and two more by the window which each seat four people.

Sam took a seat in the back, wondering how she even offered to buy Cal a coffee as a way of showing how thankful she was that he is agreeing to keep quiet about her little white lie. Looking back, she was amaze how different Cal was compared to the person he was when he arrived in the ED. But thinking back, everyone is different now to how they were when they arrived, and Cal was a perfect example. Could she have misjudged him from the person he once was?

"It was a caramel latte?" Cal asked her as he lowered the drinks to the table.

"It was vanilla," Sam sighed, taking the coffee to her lips, "You devil!"

"You thought I got the wrong drink," Cal smirked, settled down opposite her, "Why the drink?"

"I'll admit," Sam sighed, "When I noticed you looking at me the first time, I was flattered, and I asked Iain about you."

"I hope he said good things," Cal smirked.

"He couldn't," Sam commented, "Dylan told me you were a player and Iain walked away, unable to follow up on that."

"Ah," Cal looked down.

"But yesterday," Sam smiled, "You've proved that I misjudged you. And that maybe leopards can change their spots. Besides, I played people. So, it wouldn't be fair to judge you when I was no different."

"At least it was just one guy you hurt," Cal sighed, "I hurt so many."

"I hope you don't mind me asking," Sam questioned, "This girl you called 'easy'. Was she Lily?"

"It was," Cal hung his head in shame, "I have to see her everyday and it reminds me of how much pain I put her through. I don't think she's ever forgiven me for it."

"So, it was the same couple we were talking about," Sam sighed, alarming Cal, "Yep, I slept with Iain whilst I was married to Dylan."

"Funny," Cal sighed, "It's the people we played who have the last laugh. They've got their happy ending and we're both in the nursing home with no company."

Sam looked at Cal nervously, if only he knew what Lily and Iain were going through.

* * *

Iain watched as Gem snuggled into Lily as they put a film on. Since the news, Gem had been clinging to Lily, scared that she could suddenly disappear and fade away as if she didn't belong.

He walked into their bedroom to set something down, opening his rucksack up and pulled it out. Taking one look at the scene in the sitting room, he tried hard to fight his tears. Gem was already heart broken when they broke the news that Lily may have cancer and they weren't even sure if cancer was the reason behind her itchy skin, weight loss or for the lump on her neck.

"You are coming, Iain?" Lily called, "The movies about to start!"

"I'll be right there!" he called back.

Again, he doesn't know for definite if he's got it. But according to the blood test, a few of the readings indicate it. But is it possible to deal with it? To be able to help Lily and make her feel comfortable throughout the experience, is he supportive enough to help her? And can he help her through the treatment without any distractions? And most importantly, will he be there throughout her whole cancer journey?

Iain opened the drawer and the side of his bed, and taking one close look at the leaflet.

 _Living with Leukaemia._

* * *

 **I hope you like this chapter as I felt that was more of a filler chapter, but now the nightmare has only gotten worse. Let me know what you think xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**I want to thank both TheBeautifulNerd and LillyMayFlower for looking through this chapter and giving me their opinions as I was nervous about this chapter!**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

* * *

It was half nine when the post arrived, this morning and Iain offered to make breakfast whilst Lily was in the shower.

" _As you were aware, we had your test results back."_

He knew that he was waiting for a letter regarding an appointment from the haematologist, explaining what he'll be going in for and how long it will be, but most importantly, when the appointment will be. Deep down, he didn't know what was more terrifying, the possibility of having cancer, or knowing what was going to be on the letter.

Iain's motive for cooking breakfast was so that he gets to the mail before Lily and Gem. Lily was able to cover up her letter with the excuse of training, but Iain couldn't get away with that lie. Technically, he works for the ambulance station so any excuse used could come back to haunt him. But he didn't want Lily or Gem to know he could have cancer.

The possibility that Lily could have it was bad enough.

Iain grabbed the post the moment it arrived and scanned through it. It caught his eye when he noticed how similar the envelope looked compared to the one Lily received last week. The NHS logo was located once again on the bottom right corner. In blue. The envelope was also sealed just like Lily's. And the address is spot on the same. The only difference is the name of the person that the letter is addressed to.

The rest of the letters were sorted and located on the top of the coffee table, knowing it'll annoy Gem (To their surprise, she's the neatest member of the flat). But Iain kept his letter and placed it in his rucksack, promising himself to look at it where he won't have anyone intruding on him.

" _I don't understand, I thought it was an infection. Why was I being called back?"_

* * *

Ethan never woke up three hours before a shift started, but he wanted to do some revision for his consultancy retake. The mornings are a surprisingly quiet and Cal is known to sleep in until an hour before his shift starts. It gives Ethan a good chance to make the most of his time before he wakes up to do some revision.

Ethan laid his books out in front of him, seeing the studies of the nervous system, he decided since that was the subject, he was having most difficulty with, it seemed best for him to look at that first.

He was about to grab his notepad, when he was side-tracked due to a vibration next to his textbook. Along with the annoying notification sound that his brother used to let him know that he's got a text message. Why must Cal choose the popcorn sound instead of something else is beyond him?

Ethan's eyes widened when he saw exactly who was messaging him.

Sam Nicholls.

The woman who told him he may not have a brother if he kept on bugging her.

Why is Sam texting Cal after all the annoyance that he's been causing her?

This has got to be the most interesting thing he has ever seen. The revision will have to wait, he must message Sam or Lily or Iain to try and get the information.

The four of them need the good news to take their minds of Lily's cancer fears.

* * *

" _Your blood test showed a low level of iron; it would explain the breathlessness you were experiencing."_

Lily and Iain both walked hand in hand into the parking area, both feeling refreshed and ready for work.

Lily has vowed to put the nerves behind her for a few days. Her appointment with the haematologist was on Thursday, and Lily wanted to forget about and not hear the word cancer for the next few days. Not until her appointment is over, and they can finally work out what the problem was.

Right now, she needs a distraction.

"This is where we leave off," Iain sighed, taking her hands, "See you in a bit Dr Chao?"

"See you soon," Lily smiled back as she lifted herself on her tiptoes and kisses him.

Iain broke away from Lily and watched as she walked into the ED reception, making the conscious move to walk towards the ambulance station and into the office. Luckily for him, the entire place was empty. Although jackets were on chairs, and paperwork were lain out over the table and the doors to the ambulance were left open, the office was empty, and Iain decided to make the most of it.

Placing himself on the sofa, he took out the envelope and teared the flap open, taking the paper out of it. Inhaling, he unfolded the paper and looked at the paper.

His appointment was at nine in the morning on the 13th November.

Two weeks after Lily's appointment, twelve days to be precise.

"Morning Sad Face," Iain looked up to see Jan, "Someone's popular."

"Actually," Iain sighed, "I was called back by the Doctors yesterday regarding my blood tests."

Jan frowned at this. She was the only other person who knew that Iain booked a GP appointment on the same day as Lily. It made sense that he didn't tell anyone about his own health problems as compared to Lily, his problems were minor.

"Why?" Jan asked, "Did they call Lily back as well?"

"They don't need to," Iain answered, "She's already going to see the haematologist regarding a biopsy and a CT scan," he took a deep breath and sighed, "and it looks like I'm going in twelve days' time."

"What?" she lowered herself down, "Does anyone else know? Lily?"

"I don't want to worry her," Iain admits, looking around to make sure no one can listen in, "I'm terrified. What if we're on borrowed time?"

"So, you haven't told anyone?" Jan asked as Iain shook his head, "Did the doctors say anything?"

" _That's it?"_

"I, I," Iain struggled to get his words out.

" _We have found something else that is alarming."_

* * *

Cal entered the staff room, smiling all round; much to the confusion of Lily, Louise and Alicia. He's been whistling his way throughout the entrance, the staff room, even past Connie's office. But there's only one way he could be like this.

"Name please," Louise glared at him, "Full name."

"What?" Cal stuttered, "What are you talking about?"

"The only people are that happy is if they've been out with a special someone," Alicia explained, "Who is it?"

Cal couldn't explain who it was, especially considering that Sam could walk in at any moment, not wanting to intrude on her personal life.

He doesn't want to treat Sam the way he treated Lily in the past.

"Not telling," Cal smirked, before walking out of the staff room and leaving the three of them looking at each other confused.

* * *

" _What do you mean?"_

Sam jogged into the ambulance station, determined not to let yesterday get the better of her. She tried to get Cal out of her mind, his irritating nature, his arrogance, his charming smile, his gentle words, his ability to open to her. He drives her insane, she vowed to never let another man interfere in her life again, but now, he's winning the battle.

"Urgh," Sam growled, to Iain and Jan, "Cal Knight is starting to bug me now!"

Jan and Iain looked at each and sniggered, knowing fully well that Sam is clearly interested in the doctor, but she refused to show it.

"Why don't you take up on his offer?" Iain suggested, "It's just one drink. You won't have to talk to him personally after that!"

"Lily told me you two made a bet!" Sam answered to him, "And how dare you bet against me!"

"I only made that bet on the presence that Cal never gives up!" Iain insisted, to Jan's amusement.

Sam rolled her eyes and left the room, determined to take the opportunity to deal with the situation. Iain couldn't hold it in and started to laugh, before he met the gaze from Jan.

"What?"

"I don't know whether to call you out as a cheater or a traitor," Jan stated, finishing up the paperwork, "I've managed to get your shift covered. But you need to tell Lily. How would you feel if it was the other way around?"

Iain was hopeful that Sam would stop Jan from giving him a lecture over the value of secrecy, but boy, was he wrong. Every five minutes, the words, "Lies", "Truth" and "Honesty" entered his ears and quite frankly, he wants to sneak off but avoiding his boss was like avoiding the possibility that if he doesn't get the answers, it could control, or worse, end his life.

"You do know you're repeating yourself," Iain sighed.

"Because it's not easy," Jan explained, "Iain, I lost a brother to cancer. He tried to do the exact thing that you're doing now. Do you want to know what happened?"

"What?"

"It crushed everyone when we found out," Jan sighed, "But the most hurtful thing, was that he never told us. We found out, two weeks before his death."

Iain was shocked to hear this news. Jan only had two weeks with her brother left after the news and judging by how broken Jan was, she was still upset over the news or with her brother or that she never had the opportunity to make amends with her brother. Is the timing really that bad?

" _Your blood test showed a high number of white blood cells, along with a high level of platelets. It could be down to an infection, but I'd like to arrange for you to visit a haematologist."_

* * *

Ethan walked over to Lily who was looking through some notes over a patient. She looked a lot better since her cancer fears struck. But he knows that Lily is secretly scared, but she doesn't show fear in the slightest. Not when she wants to put on a brave face and carry on living a normal life.

Ethan chuckled to himself, like he said, Lily has never been normal.

"You're not going to believe this," Ethan walked over to Lily, "But I was up this morning to do some revision."

"I can believe that," Lily giggled, "You got your consultancy exams coming up, you always prep up for it."

"Let me finish please?" Ethan interrupted her, "Anyway, Cal's phone vibrated as he received a message."

"So?"

"It was Sam," Lily dropped her notes, hoping it's not what she's thinking, "She was asking him if he'd like a lift."

"When did they start talking?" Lily was terrified, "Sorry I had a bet with Iain. I bet on Cal giving up!"

"You may need to prepare to pay up," Ethan gleamed at her, "Looks like Sam's given up!"

Lily placed her head in the notes, making the vow to never bet on a colleague's personal life again. Luckily, the penalty was a date of the winner's choosing, considering the two of them both had an idea on what films they'd like to see, but the only way they can talk the other to going was if they had no choice.

"You okay?" Ethan asked her.

"I never wanted to see that film anyway."

"That's not what I meant," Ethan frowned.

"I know," Lily looked at him, "I'm trying to push it aside. I can't let it control my life."

* * *

" _What does the results usually mean?"_

Jan's words play a thought in Iain's mind. Even though he didn't want to admit it, she had a point in keeping things from Lily, especially since she somehow manages to uncover them on her own. But the trouble is, she is already terrified about her own appointment, and judging by what he's been reading, its not going to be comfortable either.

Iain once again pulled out his letter in the ED staff room, trying to read what his doctor will be doing for his own appointment. It sounded like what he can recall from Lily's letter, almost as if Lymphoma and Leukaemia were the same thing. Or maybe the procedures they'll be going through are the same.

Iain never thought he'd be willing to do research into this, but he places his letter face down and created a table. Listing the left as Leukaemia and the right as Lymphoma, he set his phone down to compare. Turns out both cancers affect the white blood cells, but Lymphoma affects a specific type of white blood cell known as the Lymphocytes, which form together in the lymph nodes. If Lily does have this cancer, it explains the lump that they found in her neck. But why did they have no warning over Iain's?

"Hey Iain," he was interrupted the moment he saw Ethan walk into the room, "Lily told me you two made a bet."

"Yeah we did," Iain answered to him, putting the sheet to one side, "Why?"

"You won," Ethan sniggered, "Sam texted Cal this morning, asking him if he'd like a lift."

"That's odd," Iain was confused, "She was slating him earlier. Wait, forget I said that! I like to beat Lily on this."

"No one won anything yet!" Cal glared at them both, "Although I can't believe Lily betted on me to give up. I'd like half of the winnings."

"The prize was for the winner to choose the film for the next movie date," Iain glared at him, "You are not blowing this for me! It's the only way I'm able to get Lily to agree to see the Justice League!"

"Best get going before it gets ugly," Ethan walks away, "I'll tell Lily she's still in with a chance for that bet. She was gutted when I told her."

"How dare you look at my phone!" Cal called him out, "Have you ever heard of privacy?"

"Have you ever heard of not leaving your phone on the coffee table when you share a flat?" Ethan asked him, "I didn't go into your phone, if it makes things better!"

"You're lucky you didn't," Cal folded his arms, taking his seat opposite Iain.

Iain watched as Ethan walked away, it felt strange enough, but Sam and Cal were taking his mind off the nightmare. No one likes being a gossip, but sometimes the world of gossip can ease off the stress everyone is going through.

"You're going strong and not giving up," Iain commented, "What is it about Sam that you're interested in anyway? If it's for the right reasons, I could put a good word in."

" _It could just be an infection, but these results often could be something more serious."_

* * *

Sam left the entrance of the ambulance station for lunch, wrapping up warmly away from Mother Nature's cold air. She couldn't understand why people are saying that it's not cold, when they are nearly entering November. The cold air paralyses her shoulders, despite the extra layers aiming to protect her and her gloveless hands begin to stiffen as the icy air cools her blood down.

Sam was about to complain, until she saw Lily sat on a table, with no jacket on to keep her warm.

"How are you not cold?" Sam asked her as she sat down beside her.

"You should be in there," Lily motioned to the ED, "It felt hot, I needed to cool down."

"Is everything okay?" Sam asked her, "You can talk to me if you don't feel like talking to Iain."

"I know," Lily smiled, "It's nice having another girl to talk to Iain about. I can't mention some stuff to Gem, we told her by the way."

"That's good," Sam smiled, "She needed to know."

"It's kicked in now," Lily whispered, "I never felt more scared now than I have done."

"Hey," Sam took her hand, "Listen, this is scary for everyone. And you said it yourself, cancer isn't a death sentence that people once thought it was. I know I'd be scared if I was in your shoes."

"I know," Lily admitted, "But when I was in the GP room, I felt terrified. I saw all signs that state how many lives ended because of cancer. Telling Gem yesterday, it felt like it was really happening."

"But it may not be cancer," Sam smiled, "It may be something else, you said so yourself," Sam noticed that Lily is unsure, "Or were you trying to pretend it couldn't be?"

Lily closed her eyes, trying to fight back her tears. The moment she felt one run down her face, she felt a pair of arms pulling her in. She couldn't fight them off any longer as she felt them dripping from her face, feeling guilty as she knew that her make was running from her face, and onto Sam's jacket.

"Listen," Sam whispered in Lily's ear, "You're going to get those answers, you're going to beat this. Do you know why?"

"Why?" Lily asked her.

"Because right now," Sam mentioned, "You're the only person I can confide in regarding girly things that blokes like Cal and Iain just won't understand."

* * *

" _What else could it be? Please just tell me."_

"Nibbles left his notes behind," Cal chuckled as Iain was about to leave the room, "Leukaemia and Lymphoma? He knows this already."

Iain's eyes widened when he heard this. Knowing fully what he used to revise on those notes, he had to get Cal's hands off them before he turns the page around.

"Maybe he wanted to revise them," Iain commented, "Just because you know something, doesn't mean you know everything!"

"You got a point," Cal smiled, before noticing something else, "Wait a minute, this isn't Ethan's handwriting."

"Sure, it is," Iain tried to convince him, but deep down, he knew it wasn't going to work.

"I know my brother's writing," Cal frowned, "And he wouldn't use any random piece of paper either."

Cal turned the paper to show Iain that it was just a piece of scrap paper, but he noticed something else on it.

NHS Holby City Haematology Department.

Iain's address.

Iain's name.

Date of appointment.

Time of appointment.

Cal was horrified when he saw this, he looked at Iain and noticed that his face had suddenly lost its colour. He looked at the back to see Leukaemia and Lymphoma. He didn't need to know anything else to understand what was going on and what was Iain hiding from him.

" _I'm afraid its also a sign of leukaemia."_

"Iain?"

"Please Cal," Iain pleaded with him, his eyes becoming red, "You can't tell anyone about this."

* * *

 **If anyone asks, I have changed the name of the story. I wanted to play tribute to Sting's Field of Gold, but when I hear that song, I hear the cover by Eva Cassidy, a remarkable singer who lost her fight to melanoma in 1996 at the age of 33. I feel as the lyrics if it fits into the story, so that's why I've chosen to change it from "Till the Days Still Left" to "I Swear In the Days Still Left".**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay this chapter consists of Lily's appointment with the Haematologist, but I've been nervous about this bit as it can be a daunting experience but I've done a bit of research surrounding the initial appointments so I hope I've done it justice.**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

The Haematology Department seem strange compared to the ED. There were only six chairs in the reception area, all the colour of leaves on a summer's day, resting by the wall. To their left, Iain and Lily noticed a range of leaflets regarding cancer, deep vein thrombosis and sepsis. It seemed quieter in the department than it does in the GP centre the two of them were in two weeks ago.

Lily kept her eyes on the leaflet, especially regarding Hodgkin's and Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The evidence seems to point to one of those conditions, and the bugs decided once again to creep up within her skin, petrifying her. No matter how hard she tried to fight them, they wouldn't go away.

Iain caught her struggle, resting his hand over hers. He's trying to help her fight her fears, but no matter how hard he's tried, he's unable to feel as if he can help. The incident that happened a few days ago also didn't help at all.

* * *

" _Iain," Cal looked at him, in shock to learn his friend's situation, "Who else knows about it?"_

" _Just Jan," Iain explained, "I needed to find out and get answers, so she's agreed to let me have the time."_

" _So, Lily doesn't know about this?" Cal asked him, "What happened to couples telling each other everything?"_

" _Jan also told me that as well!" Iain muttered under his breath, "But if you knew the reason why, you wouldn't be lecturing me!"_

* * *

"Lily Chao?" Lily and Iain looked up to find the nurse calling them.

They stood up, ready to get the answers they're looking for. Lily's fingers intertwined with his, in a way, she knew she'd be scared as well as if Iain was going through the scare. The need to console him felt even stronger than her own fears. Lily knew he needed the strength, just as much as she does.

The pair followed the red-haired nurse through the snow-white corridors. Lily turned her head to find posters of the Lymphatic system, quickly looking away, not wanting to think about her own system, when it's already troubled.

Iain quickly sensed Lily's fears and squeezed her hand, wanting to make sure she was okay. The anxiety he was feeling was already on, it was nerve-wrecking as not only is he going to watch as Lily goes through the procedure of the investigation, but it's also giving him a first sight of the procedures that he'll be going through. Thinking back, although the evidence is pointing towards cancer, Iain is hopeful that she'll get the all-clear. He's hopeful that this is all a nightmare. He's even hopeful that this nightmare will be over soon.

As soon as the nurse led the two into the room, they were greeted by a lady with blonde hair tied back, appearing to be in her late thirties, early forties. She's either got perfect eyesight or contact lenses as Lily can tell that her eyes are as green as grass. Lily knew who she is, Dr Johnson.

"Hello, Lily," she smiled at her before turning to Iain, "Is he your partner?"

"Yes," Lily smiled, leaning close to him, "Is he okay to stay?"

"So long as he doesn't mind blood," she commented.

"I'm a paramedic," Iain smiled, "Blood doesn't bother me."

* * *

 _Cal followed Iain into the ambulance station, still horrified to learn that the paramedic may have cancer. It would explain why Iain is hiding something, but he thought Sam or Lily would know about it. But Iain was adamant that no one else needs to know. Hopefully there was someone else in the ambulance station and Cal would keep quiet about the situation._

 _Unfortunately for Iain, only Jan was in the station._

" _That's good the only other person who knows is in here!" Cal smirked, "Nice try to weasel your way out of discussion Iain."_

" _You told Lily then?" Jan smiled at him._

" _He hasn't," Cal looked at her, "He carelessly left his notes and his appointment! Tried to pass it off as Ethan's revision notes. I'm surprised I nearly fell for it."_

* * *

The physical examination already felt daunting, as Dr Johnson had the curtain closed to respect Lily's privacy. Iain pulled out some pages that he printed out online surrounding Hodgkin's Lymphoma to understand the condition. He wanted to pretend that Lily isn't going through the nightmare, but the evidence is all there. All that they need to know now, is how far the cancer has come, and how they can beat it!

"We've noticed the swollen areas of your neck," Dr Johnson explained as she settled Lily to the trolley, "We're going to recover part of your lymph node on the affected area. We would like to check your spleen as well, so we'll be taking you down for a PET scan."

Lily nodded as she listened to Dr Johnson's instructions. There fear is slowly increasing, but she is thankful that soon she could be getting answers for her health problems. But not once did she think about the rest of her body. The focus for her was her lump and the bugs creeping around in her body. Could there be more to the story?

"First off," Dr Johnson mentions, "We want to get a blood sample."

Lily began to drive out the thoughts before she remembered what happened the last time, she spoke about the blood test. The thought still didn't leave her as she's unable to forget about it.

"Sorry," Lily smiled, looking at Iain, "I just remembered what happened the last time we spoke about the blood test."

"Yeah," Iain sniggered, "We won't be watching any zombie movies with mates from now on, they'll think we've gone mad."

* * *

" _I told you to be honest!" Jan muttered to Iain, "You're lucky it was him who uncovered it! What if it was Lily?"_

" _Don't you think I'm terrified enough?" Iain asked them both, "I could have cancer!"_

" _Lily will support you," Cal insisted, "I know you would support her if she had cancer!"_

 _Jan realised right there that Cal still doesn't know what is wrong with Lily. He doesn't know that there's a possibility that both Lily and Iain could have cancer. He only knows about Iain, just like Sam and Ethan only know about Lily. What would Cal's reaction be if he knew the truth?_

" _I told you," Jan insisted, "You need to tell her. How would you reckon Lily would feel if she found out another way?"_

* * *

Iain took Lily's right hand as they watched the nurse insert a cannula into the veins in her left hand. This was always Lily's least favourite part to go through when assessing patients as some were in pain, others were worried of the thought of something going wrong. She desperately wanted to scream, but she clenched her eyes straight away, determined to explain to her patients that it's not too bad.

"We're going to inject a radioactive substance into your veins," Dr Johnson explained, "It takes an hour for the substance to travel throughout your entire body."

"Okay," Lily smiled, "Then you're going to have me go through a machine."

"They always say doctors make the worst patients," Dr Johnson smiled with Lily's confidence, "If the biopsy comes back with a cancer diagnosis, then the PET scan should inform us what stage it's at."

"We'll bring you a gown for you to change into," the nurse kindly mentioned.

* * *

 _Jan felt conflicted about the situation. On the one hand, she wanted Iain to tell Lily that he may have leukaemia. But on the other, she can see the thoughts in Iain's mind. It was easy for her to understand that Iain isn't just terrified that he may be ill, but he is also dealing with the possibility that Lily could be ill as well. Jan tried to put herself in Iain's shoes. Would she be able to cope with it all? Could she support her other half? Is there a future when there's the knowledge that one or both may not survive?_

 _What would Lily have done in Iain's situation? Would she be forgiving when she learns he's only kept it hidden to protect her? Or would she feel betrayed at the knowledge that he left her out completely?_

 _Jan's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a knock on the door._

" _Enter!"_

 _Jan, Cal and Iain all looked when they saw Ethan and Sam enter the room with a tearful Lily wiping the mascara off her face. Iain closed his eyes; he knew what was on her mind._

" _Found these two outside," Ethan motioned to Sam and Lily, "One's clearly in bits and the other's got make-up on her jacket."_

 _Iain got up off his seat and pulled Lily in his arms, brushing her hair with his fingers. Cal watched as Lily wrapped her arms around Iain tightly, as if she was holding on to dear life. It soon dawned on Cal why Iain wanted to keep his cancer scare secret from Lily._

 _Iain's results suggest a leukaemia diagnosis. Lily's behaviour, her weight loss, her constant need to pat her arms, legs. Cal started to pick up the pieces straight away._

 _Iain's not the only one going through a cancer scare. Lily could have cancer as well._

" _Why don't we leave you two alone?" Cal suggested to them._

* * *

Iain waited as Lily returned to the room following her PET scan, now he's careful as he watched Dr Johnson inject a drug onto Lily's neck, effectively numbing the area, meaning Lily wouldn't be able to feel a thing during the biopsy.

"Okay," Dr Johnson explained, "What we're going to do is remove a part of the lymph node. We'll only be taking a small amount to inspect it."

"We'll take you both in the waiting room until we're ready," the nurse informed the two, "It should give it time for the anaesthia to settle in."

"Thank you," Lily smiled at them both, "For everything."

"No problem," Dr Johnson smiled at them both, "Once the nurse checks you over afterwards, we'll be able to send you home."

* * *

 _Cal watched as Ethan and Sam walked outside to get some fresh air. It gave him an opportunity to talk to Jan to get the full story._

" _Lily's got cancer," Cal asked her, "That's why Iain hasn't told her."_

" _It's not definite," Jan explained, "But they found a lump and as you could tell Lily was experiencing signs of itchy skin and they were both complaining about it being too hot."_

" _How did I not realise that?" Cal asked himself, "Lily would have been the first one Iain would tell."_

" _It shows how terrified he is," Jan mentioned, "It's not fair, why them?"_

" _Why them?" Cal sighed, "They've done nothing wrong. Me and Sam, we played them on separate occasions. How come they've been punished?"_

" _Sometimes life is cruel," Jan sighed, "Cancer doesn't care who you are, or what you're going through. It doesn't even care if it's already struck your partner."_

" _It might not even be cancer," Cal insisted, "Hopefully, this is all a nightmare."_

" _I hope so."_

* * *

Iain noticed that This Morning was on as Philip and Holly were watching Gino cook the latest dish consisting of duck, garlic and lemon. It was all distracting to him as he wanted to take his mind of what was happening to Lily whilst she was having her operation. This was the longest morning that he had to face, and the fact that they were going through the whole works with Lily only made him feel more uncomfortable with his own appointment.

It seemed that him being there made Lily feel a lot better about the possibility. But when they first came across the cancer fear, he was terrified for Lily as he wasn't sure about how long she would have kept her itchy skin away from him for. When she finally told him that night, he was able to support her, making himself feel better that he was able to help her. It just didn't seem fair that she was open about her cancer fears, when she doesn't know about his.

Maybe Jan was right, if he opens to Lily, maybe they can use it as an opportunity over not wasting anymore time. After all, how long would the two of them have left anyway?

"As there he is," Iain turned to find Lily walking towards him with the nurse beside her, "Question, does he have a brother?"

Lily giggled as she sat down beside Iain, who leaned over to kiss her cheek. They watched as the nurse goes over to the reception area to hand over.

"How did it go?" Iain asked her, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb.

"Didn't feel anything," Lily answered, "If anything, the PET scan was the worst part of today."

"Well, hopefully things will be okay," Iain answered, pulling Lily into his arms.

"I hope that everything is okay," Lily smiled at him, "I don't what I'd do without you Iain. I don't think I could have stomached today."

Iain held his eyes shut, trying hard to stop his tears from leaving.

"Iain?" he opened his eyes to see Lily looking at him, worried about him.

"I'm so sorry," he choked up, pulling her into his arms, she's suddenly became his lifeline, "There's something I need to tell you. I don't know if this is the best place to tell you."

"If it's eating you up then there is no best place," Lily reminded him, "Sometimes it's better to let them out than, to keep it in."

"It doesn't seem the best place," Iain admitted.

"Then we can talk about it later," Lily smiled, kissing his cheek, "Whatever it is, we can face it, together."

* * *

 _Cal waited outside the ambulance station again, keeping his fingers crossed that Iain doesn't leave with Sam. It's clear that he and Jan were the only people who knew about the cancer, and it wouldn't be fair for Iain to learn another person knows about it without his knowledge._

" _Hey Cal," Iain smiled at him, "You're okay?"_

" _I should be asking you that?" Cal sighed, "I'm not the one going through a cancer scare. I'm also not the one with a girlfriend who is also going through one as well."_

" _How did you work it out?" Iain asked him._

" _Lymphoma can lead to weight loss and itchy skin," Cal explained, "Things Lily were experiencing now. You on the other hand already mentioned the doctor saying you may have Leukaemia. With Lily in tears and you two hiding things for a while, it's clear where all this started."_

 _Iain took in everything Cal had said to him, worried about what he's about to say._

" _I had no idea about Lily," Cal explained, "I'm still annoyed you haven't told her about this. But I know that if I was in your shoes, I would have done the exact same thing. It's not fair for me to push you with that knowledge."_

* * *

Iain and Lily found themselves standing by the fence of the golden field for the first time this month. The stones felt cooler than they did a few weeks ago and the golden fields were less shiny as the skies were decorated with grey clouds. Already, the pavement they were standing on were decorated with red, yellow and brown leaves, glued onto the black gravel. The wind was as calm as the environment they were in this morning.

When Lily told Iain to pull up here, he doesn't understand why she wanted them to come here. Afterall, it didn't look as beautiful as it did when they last came here but it was clear that was down to one thing, the weather.

"Why are we here?" Iain asked her, confused with her request, "We should be getting you back to rest."

"A few weeks ago, you brought me to this location," Lily reminded him, "It was the most beautiful scene I had ever laid my eyes upon."

"That was different," Iain reminded her, "It fitted completely into the song. That song you kept singing when we first started going out."

"You remembered," Lily smiled.

"I'll never forget your rendition," Iain smirked at her, "Sting's version was better."

"The song had a lot of meaning," Lily explained, looping her arm with his, "The field of barley is the world of the living. The field of gold is heaven."

"The GP called me back last week," Iain blurted out.

"What?"

Lily was expecting Iain to admit his concerns over her cancer scare. She was expecting to hear him admit his fears. But she wasn't expecting him to admit this. How did she not realise he was going something so heart breaking? Lily felt awful; the sense of guilt flowed all over her body. She was so focused on her own concerns, she failed to notice Iain's fears.

"My blood tests came back abnormal," Iain explained, lowering himself by the fence, watching as Lily sat down next to him, "They put it down to a number of possibilities. But they want me to go to the hospital and see the Haematologist."

Lily froze at that. All this time, he was focused on keeping her happy and by doing that, he was keeping his own health bottled in. Lily couldn't comprehend this, she thought it was an infection; they both did! But now, they're saying it could be serious.

"Iain," Lily said, tears covering her eyes, "What did they say it could be?"

"They said," Iain took Lily's hand, "They said it could be Leukaemia."

* * *

" _Hey," Cal and Iain turned to see Lily walking in, "Is everything okay?"_

 _Cal watched as Iain pulled Lily in for a hug, having gained a new sense of respect for the paramedic. How he was able to support his girlfriend through what they can describe to be the darkest day whilst going through the news that he could die himself; he'll never be able to work it out. He thought back to his time with Lily, how much he was willing to brag about their relationship, how he took her for granted. Iain, on the other hand, he vowed to be the person to be taken for granted, always there to be a shoulder to cry on. Cal couldn't manage that baggage, maybe that's why he shouldn't be with anyone._

" _Iain," Cal sighed, "You need to pay up."_

" _What?" Iain asked confused, letting Lily rest her head on his chest._

" _I'm going to tell Sam I'm backing off," Cal announced, "Well done Dr Chao, enjoy your movie, I'd suggest a soppy love story."_

* * *

The only sound that they can hear were the television. Did they understand what the characters were saying? No. Do they know who is on the screen? Probably not. Did they care about what was being said? No, not really.

All Lily and Iain could think of is the threat of cancer looming over the two of them. One having it was bad enough but when the other is going through it as well?

All thoughts Lily had regarding the appointment was how Iain must have been feeling. By watching her procedure, he was getting a first look over what was to come for him. Lily couldn't believe the whole story, but then again, it would explain one thing.

The first thing she did was turn the thermostat up to make things feel a bit warmer for Gem.

"You okay?" he asked her, resting his chin on her forehead.

"I don't know," Lily answered truthfully, "Just confused over everything. I'm trying to think about it all."

"Don't do that," Iain looked at her, "It's dangerous when you do that."

Lily snorted when she heard that statement. Even during the darkest days, Iain never failed to lose his sense of humour. He never failed to make her smile, even during the most inappropriate time. But it didn't feel wrong for some reason, it felt as if it was eleven months ago since her depression after being stood up. Eleven months since the day they found themselves under that mistletoe. But Lily can't complain at that, like she can't complain about the knowledge she can no longer think about zombies without laughing. It was moments like this.

Moments that made Lily feel as if their lives weren't being dominated by cancer.

Moments that made Lily feel normal.

"You interrupted my train of thought," Lily smirked at him, "But I love moments like that."

"What do you mean?" Iain asked her, confused.

"Moments where we can laugh," Lily said, taking both of his hands, "Moments where we can forget about our troubles. Moments where we can pretend cancer isn't controlling us."

"What are you implying?" Iain's level of confusion went through the roof now.

"For starters, we need to be honest with each other," Lily explained, "When you were keeping news from your GP hidden from me, I knew it was going to be a nightmare. I'm not happy you kept it from me, but I can understand. But can I ask, why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared," Iain admitted, "I knew if I told you, you would worry about me too much. You'd lose sight of your own treatment and that wouldn't be fair on me. I'm surprised you forgiven me this quick."

"To be honest, I know I'd have done the same," Lily admitted, "If I had it my way, you wouldn't have known."

"Anyway, Dr Chao," Iain smiled, "Back to the subject."

"When you told me not to think a minute ago," Lily explained, "Things felt normal again, like we didn't have this over us."

"Define normal," Iain smiled, "I don't think either of us meet that description."

"Exactly," Lily smiled, "I need you to promise me one thing."

Iain knew what Lily wanted him to agree on, especially when the weight was lifted off. What would have happened if he had kept it hidden for longer? Would she have been more understanding if he kept it hidden? Would she have been understanding if it weren't for the fact that she could have cancer? Are they strong enough to beat this? Together?

"I know what you wanted me to agree on," Iain pulled her in, resting his arm on her shoulder, "No more secrets."

"We tell each other everything," Lily smiled, "There's something else as well. You, coming with me today, it made the day more bearable."

"Yeah?"

"But now, I know we may not be able to go with each other in case it interferes with another appointment," Lily said, "I wouldn't have been able to go it alone and I don't want you to go alone either."

"What are you suggesting?" Iain asked her, confused.

"Promise me, you won't go to any appointments alone," Lily pleaded with him, "That someone goes with you if I can't go with you."

Iain then realised that the GP appointment was difficult for Lily, and it was understanding. The reality of facing up to the news you have a condition that would kill you, it's enough to crush anyone. Iain then thought about the field he took her to afterwards, the calming envision that captivated him. Lily was right, having someone there did make things more comfortable. When he saw Sam after Lily's GP appointment, Sam wanted to know everything. It was clear Lily's cancer was playing on her mind and she didn't have anyone to talk to about it.

"Only if you promise the same," Iain asked her, sticking his pinky finger out, "I know this is a childish gesture but-"

"It's a promise," Lily smiled linking his finger with her own.

* * *

It took her two steps at a time, but Gem was determined to get home from work, especially considering that Lily's appointment with the hospital was today. She wanted to make sure that she's okay and that her older brother is looking after her well. Opening the door to the flat, she walked into a state of quiet. The television wasn't on, neither was the stereo or a laptop. In fact, the only light came from the lamp in the corner of the sitting room.

"Hello?" Gem called out, worried that something has happened, she saw stranger things before.

Gem walked around the sitting room but froze when she saw them.

Iain was lying on the sofa; his head was resting on the arm rest. One arm was dropping off the edge, along with one of his legs. The other leg was resting on the sofa, with his foot resting on the opposite arm rest. His other arm was wrapped around Lily, who was using his chest as a pillow, with her arm draped over his chest and her legs nestled into his resting leg. They looked so peaceful, Gem couldn't picture one with the other, not anymore.

Quietly, she noticed a blanket draped over the armchair. Gem grabbed it and opened it up, draping it over the two of them. The fact that neither woke up didn't surprise her, she already knew they could sleep through anything, so having a blanket keeping them warm would be the last thing to disturb them.

It dawned on Gem that cancer may be a terrifying prospect, but it shows the strength in people. She wondered about Lily and Iain and seeing them sleeping on the sofa was a sight she never thought she'd witnessed. But it was sweet. It often questions her that if they didn't have the fear of cancer casted over them, would they have moments like that? Do people really take the gift of life for granted, only to start living once they hear news that they could die? Would Gem be walking into this sight this time next year?

Gem kept a closer eye on the two, only to notice that there was still no sudden movement from either her brother or his girlfriend. Carefully, she wondered into her bedroom, grabbing her phone.

She'll ask them how it went tomorrow.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter. I apologise if the research wasn't good.**


	9. Chapter 9

**This is more of a filler chapter, centering more on Cal and Sam. I hope you like it.**

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**

It was days like this Iain wanted to call in sick for work.

The dust was beginning to build up once again, making him stop every half hour to cough the dust away from his system. It doesn't help that he felt as if he was dragging his leg with him whenever he was walking. Making a mental note never to fall asleep on the sofa again, he still wondered what led to him and Lily deciding to doze off there in the first. He didn't even recall draping a blanket over them.

Jan even managed to give Iain and Sam small cases, to Sam's annoyance.

"You did what?" Sam asked her, "We're a strong force Jan! We can deal with everything that comes our way!"

"And one of you has a partner who could have cancer," Jan reminded Sam, "If there's an emergency with Lily, Iain will need to support her."

Iain watched as the two of them disagreed with the decision, secretly relieved Jan hasn't told Sam the real reason they've been given smaller cases.

Truth be told, he was terrified about telling Sam that he could have cancer, especially when she kept fussing over Lily. Every day Lily comes into the ambulance station, Sam always grabbed a chair for her and even made her a glass of water. She kept asking Lily how she was feeling every time she sees her. If she knew the truth, it could crush her. And he must work with her as well.

"Jan's right Sam," Iain insisted, "Lily's health is my top priority."

"Fine," Sam sighed, "Doesn't mean I'm happy about it."

* * *

The walls seemed different in the staff room following a revamp in the designs. The walls asking staff to put their names in for Secret Santa has slightly been covered up with posters asking people for their suggestions on how to manage time and provide careful planning. For some, it's a joy as they feel as if it's too early to be thinking about Christmas.

For Lily however, it's heartbreak.

After Christmas, it'll be the start of a new year, with new misadventures that everyone could be taking part in. But the future right now, it's everything that Lily is currently dreading. She spent time trying to forget there's a chance she could have cancer. Or that Iain could have cancer. Or worse, they could both have cancer.

Lily didn't notice that she was crying. She ignored her knees bending, as well as the posters going higher and higher, until they were out of reach. She couldn't even hear anything, take notice of her racing heart. Lily lost the motion to care that someone could walk in and ask her what's wrong? But she know when someone asks her (and they could ask her) what was wrong, she won't be able to find the voice to tell them she or Iain or both of them could be living with cancer.

"Lily?" she even ignored the concerned voice asking her if she was okay, "What's wrong?"

All Lily could do was stare at the tear drops she made on the floor, especially when the footsteps kept walking closer as their owner lowered himself on the floor beside her and pulled her into his arms.

"Do you want me to get someone?" he suggested, "Ethan? Mrs Beauchamp? Iain?"

"Why us?" Lily sobbed into his chest, "Why did this happen to us?"

It soon dawned on her friend why Lily so distraught.

Iain finally told her.

"Oh Lily," Cal sighed, "I know. It just isn't fair."

* * *

Jan and Iain watched as Sam begun to lift weights, desperately trying to get rid of her frustrations. Iain was startled to learn that not only is he coming off big cases, but Jan was also taking Sam off the big cases as well. That was a surprise for him, Sam doesn't like missing out on the action. Why was she being taken off as well? She's not the one going through the nightmare.

"It's the right thing to do," Jan mentions, "I had to take her off them."

"Why?" Iain asked her, "I wouldn't have minded having someone else for a partner."

"You need someone," Jan explained, "I know you didn't want to burden Lily with the news you could have,"

"I told her yesterday," Iain confessed, "It pained me being there yesterday, knowing what she was going through. If the same thing happened the other way, I knew she'd want to know. I felt good being helpful and helping Lily, it was the only thing getting me through it."

"I think you made the right move," Jan smiled at him, "And the struggling movement?"

"We fell asleep on the sofa," Iain answered, "What's strange is that we somehow ended up with a blanket draped over us. I don't remember either of us grabbing it."

"You could sleep through an earthquake," Jan smirked at him, "How is Lily doing anyway?"

Iain knew the answer to this question right away. He knew she's trying to be positive. He knew she's trying to be strong. He knew she's trying to put on a brave face for him. But deep down, Iain knew Lily would be struggling to deal with the news that they could both have cancer. When the whole nightmare started, he wished that was what it all was. He wanted to go back and show Lily the field of golden grass before all of this started, when things were so much simpler, more pleasant for the two. Did they really take their lives for granted? Did they really think about the present?

Iain begun to think about the future that he had planned out with Lily. He thought they were going to get married, have a couple of kids (trying to convince Lily to take their child to a fan convention would be a challenge), move into a nursing home together and play with their grandchildren. Now the children don't exist anymore, neither does the nursing home or the grandchildren. Now the future looks like a whiteboard; plain, blank, empty. Maybe the future isn't set out in stone like everyone had planned. Maybe this is the harsh reality.

The future is unpredictable.

* * *

Cal set out the mug of hot chocolate, determined to do whatever it takes to make Lily feel okay about the situation. He watched as Lily slowly placed the mug in her hand, doing nothing but stare at the contents of it. The sound of silence is the one thing Cal Knight hates more than everything. You can't work out what the other person is thinking, or if they're thinking at all. He doesn't envy Lily or Iain at all, not whilst they're going through something terrifying.

"I could get Mrs Beauchamp to send you home," Cal suggested, "You've got a lot on."

"I need a distraction," Lily whispered, quietly but the volume was high enough for Cal to hear, "I shouldn't let this come on top of me. I was so certain that cancer wasn't going to take over my life. But when Iain told me, I feel as if cancer's laughing at us. The future, it doesn't look so clear."

"What did the future look like?" Cal asked her.

"We were in a field," Lily answered closing her eyes, "Me and Iain. The breeze was hitting us, gently and we were lying in the grass, I kept my focus on a steady rhythm, hear the drumbeat, feeling my hair being brushed. It was just us, enjoying the moment. It seemed perfect."

"And now?"

Cal immediately kicked himself with these words. Of course, Lily was going to be uncertain about the future! She and Iain have just been dealt with devastating news. The future isn't going to be as it once was. Now for them at least, they got a lot to deal with and they're going through one thing most couples don't expect to go through until they reach their sixties. Their health potentially catching up to them.

"I'm sorry," Cal whispered.

"Don't be," Lily answered, "It's just nice to have someone to listen to. Sam doesn't know what she's missing. You'd make a great boyfriend and you two do make a good match."

"I don't think I'd be perfect for her," Cal whispered, "I treated people horribly in the past, you should know, I treated you like a fool and looking at you everyday had made me realise that. I'm not Iain, I can't make a bad moment go away."

"You haven't found the right person," Lily smiled, "Or maybe you haven't asked her yet."

"You do know you'll lose the bet with Iain if you egg Sam on," Cal smirked.

"I have my ways," Lily smirked back.

* * *

"Sam!" Jan watched as Sam set the weights back and stood up to walk into the office, "I'm going to pair you up with Oliver, Nathan called in sick. He mentioned that he picked up something dodgy from a restaurant."

"And what about Iain?" Sam watched as Iain begun to shake his leg a little bit.

"I'll be fine," Iain insisted, "I need to deal with stiffen muscles all day."

"It should teach him not to fall asleep on the sofa," Jan chuckled.

Sam should be feeling honoured that Jan is letting her on the big cases, she should, but there's something not right. Why was Jan putting her off them before? What on earth had been off whilst Iain and Lily was at the hospital?

What were they hiding?

* * *

Gem had it all sorted. Her mission, sneak into Iain and Lily's bedroom and retrieve the cable that she needed to upload the photos from her camera. Iain always leaves the cables messed up within a box under their bed. How they still work, Gem doesn't know. But what she does know is that the camera cable is at the very top, easy for her to reach.

Gem reached for the box and opened the black lid, grabbing the grey cable from the box, when something caught her eye.

Iain left something inside the box.

And it doesn't look like a cable.

Carefully, Gem opened it up and her eyes widened when she saw what was inside.

How long was Iain keeping this secret for?

* * *

Sam never thought she'd say this, but she wished she was on the smaller cases. Oliver has been a nightmare, talking about his pregnant girlfriend every time they're on a call. At least when Iain talks about Lily he asks if it's okay. Oliver even texted his girlfriend when they're between patients, annoying Sam endlessly as she couldn't talk to him about what happened. At least Iain asked her how she was. Oliver even showed Sam photos of the baby stuff from his phone.

"Eurgh," Sam growled, hearing the door open, "If you show me one more photo, I'll,"

"There's nothing on my phone that will interest you," Sam turned around, expecting Oliver but instead see Lily, confusion written on her face, "Not unless you're into global landmarks or images of Brad Pitt."

"Oh, it's you," Sam sighed, relieved she didn't insult Oliver, "I'll look at the Brad Pitt photos later. You never told me you were a fan."

"I'm going with Iain to see his latest film tonight," Lily smiled, "He's going to moan but it's worth it."

"I'll try not to be jealous," Sam frowned, "You should have added onto the bet that the loser pays for snacks."

"Oh, he is," Lily giggled.

"Speaking of whom," Sam commented, "He's gone somewhere but I don't know where. I was paired up with someone else who is a nightmare."

"Oliver showing you baby photos?" Lily asked as Sam nodded in response, "He got on Nathan's nerves too."

"I'm never having kids," Sam groaned, before remembering, "Sorry, that was insensitive. How are you coping today anyway?"

Lily was waiting for Sam to ask her that question. She just doesn't want to tell her the truth, not whilst she doesn't know the full story about what was happening with her and Iain.

"I'm good," Lily answered, "Was a bit down."

"I wish I could find Iain for you," Sam reassured her.

"Actually, I came here looking for you," Lily smiled at her, "I wanted to talk to you about Cal."

Sam looked confused. Lily herself was getting annoyed that Cal was pestering her, refusing to take no for an answer. She even placed a bet on that Cal would eventually call it quits and give up. So why does Lily want to talk to Sam about Cal?

"What about him?" Sam asked her.

"I was upset yes," Lily explained, "But it was Cal who made me feel better. He knows that I could have cancer."

"What?" Sam asked, "How?"

"How is not important," Lily smiled, "But Cal helped me feel better. He allowed me talk about anything and everything. He didn't talk over and he felt guilty for the way he had acted towards women in the past, including me."

"He may have said that to me," Sam was about to soften, "But how do I know he won't do to me what he did to you and anyone else?"

"And here I thought you were a risk taker," Lily commented, ready to walk out the room.

"Do you really think he changed?" Sam asked, "He messed with peoples' feelings. Yours included."

"And he apologised to me," Lily beamed, "And if he could, he'd apologise to everyone else as well."

Sam begins to wander up and down. She wanted to take that risk, take that chance, take that opportunity. But leopards can't change their spots and neither does cheetahs. But Sam thought about the way she treated people in the past. Played with Iain's feelings and ruined her marriages; both Dylan and Tom. Was she really the right choice for Cal? Was he the right choice for her? Is she really preparing to take that chance?

"You do realise you're risking losing the bet?" Sam mentioned to Lily, "If I do ask Cal out?"

"I haven't," Lily smiled, "Because technically, you didn't say yes to a date. You asked for one. Completely different things."

"Then I'll do it," Sam smiled, "Thank you Lily."

* * *

The end of the day was what Iain was looking forward to the most. The pub was crowded with Charlie and Duffy sitting at the corner table discussing an anniversary of some old friends, to Ethan and Alicia kissing in the booth at one of the tables. Everyone seemed so peaceful, no one could tell they had a stressful day at work.

Iain smiled when Lily arrived with Cal in tow. Lily smiled when she saw him with a pint of cola in his hand with another one waiting for him. She walked up to hug him, secretly happy that after a hard day, she'll have the opportunity to spend time with him.

"Hard Sam got lumbered with Oliver," Lily mentioned, "I don't know whether to feel sorry for her or Oliver."

"She told me never to have kids," Iain mentioned under his breath, "Then she apologised for being insensitive."

"Actually, I looked it up," Cal mentioned, "But you two can't know for sure you have cancer."

"We're preparing for the worse case scenario," Iain explained, "That's going to be the case."

"By the way Cal," Lily mentioned, "We're going to tell Gem about Iain's cancer tomorrow. No one else needs to know about this. Sam and Ethan know about me, but not Iain. And until we get the answers, no one else needs to know."

"I won't tell anyone," Cal promised, "Your secret is safe with me. But I will say this, you two are strong, not only are you going through something so heart breaking, you're also supporting each other. I don't know how I'd cope if I was in your shoes."

"I promised Lily I'd stand by her," Iain mentioned, looking at Lily, smiling before lowering his lips to her beautiful hair.

Cal smiled at the sight of the two of them, before noticing that Sam has walked through the doors. She looked different to how she usually saw her. Her blonde hair was left out and her red dress went well with her grey jacket. Cal slowly begun to feel his heart race, especially when she walked up towards them.

"Dressed up Sam?" Iain joked, "Makes a change."

"Well I got a date tonight," Sam smiled, "I made dinner reservations and I was hoping if Dr Knight would like to accompany me."

"Being a third wheel?" Cal muttered, "Not my thing."

Cal yelped the moment he felt Lily's elbow jabbing him on the side.

"What was that for?" he asked her.

"You're an idiot," Lily smirked at him, "You're the guy."

"What?" Iain asked confused, "Did I miss out on something?"

"Maybe," Sam smiled at Cal, "You up for it?"

"Dinner would be lovely," Cal smiled at her, "I just need to tell Ethan that he can walk it home."

"No need," Lily smiled, looking at them, "I already told him we'd be giving them a lift. Go on, have fun."

Cal realised right there what Lily has done. Grateful, he pulled her in for a hug, before breaking the hug and hooking arms with Sam, ready to leave the pub and meet their dinner reservations.

"You're telling me, that if I had waited longer, I would have won that bet?" Iain asked Lily, secretly annoyed with what she did.

"I gave Sam the cinema tickets as well," Lily smirked turning to him, "Technically, she didn't say yes to a date. She asked him. Different things."

"Great, a loophole," Iain muttered, pulling her in, "How are you feeling anyway?"

"Scared, but I'll be okay," Lily smiled, resting her head on his, listening to his heartbeat, "What about you?"

"Scared," Iain mentioned, "But not afraid. Cal's right, we're a strong force. I don't think I could have coped with potentially having cancer without you around."

"I wouldn't without you either," Lily smiled, pulling Iain closer to her, until their lips meet.

* * *

Gem begun to pace, the item still in her hand. She received word from Iain that Lily was dropping Ethan and Alicia off before she headed home. This gave her the opportunity to confront Iain with what she has found.

Was the news what everyone was dreading be the reason Iain was putting it off? Gem begun to wonder. But what hurts was that Iain didn't include her in this. She's his sister, he could tell her anything. She could have helped.

"Hello Trouble," Gem turned to Iain, putting her hands behind her back.

"When were you going to tell me?" Gem asked him straight away.

Iain froze when he heard Gem ask him that question. No, no, no. This wasn't how she was going to find out about the cancer? Why was he so careless? Leaving things around the room when Gem could easily find the letter, or the leaflet, or both. How long did she know for, he doesn't know but he slowly started to feel sick that she has potentially spent the day worrying about him and whether he'd be here this time next year?

"Gem," Iain insisted, "I wanted to tell you."

"When?" Gem was annoyed, "I could have helped you out."

"Gem, I was terrified," Iain explained, "I only found out I could have cancer the day we told you that Lily could have it."

"What?" Gem froze, showing Iain the small, red, velvet box.

Iain froze when he realised that Gem wasn't talking about the letter or the leaflet. She was talking about the sterling silver ring, with a round 0.23 carat diamond, with a blue topaz at each side of the diamond. It costed Iain a fortune and he was planning on using it to propose. He spent ages trying to practice his speech for her, but then they received news that Lily could have cancer and now so could he. A part of him was glad it was Gem who found the ring and not Lily.

"I found this next to the cables," Gem passed the ring and the box to him before sitting down, "You could have cancer?"

"Listen Gem," Iain explained, noticing her expression in disbelief, "I wanted to tell you. I really did. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way."

* * *

 **I hope you like this chapter. I felt as if there was too much speech going on.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A shorter chapter this time round, explaining Gem's reaction to the news that Iain could have cancer as well. I hope you like it.**

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

Not one person could sleep that night. And all within good reason.

Iain and Lily waited outside Gem's bedroom, waiting for her to come out. She wouldn't be able to sleep through the night, not after receiving news that her older brother could have cancer. In fact, they know that if they were in her shoes, they wouldn't be able to sleep either. They both know that when Gem is unable to sleep, she'll normally go out of the room to put the television on. Several trips out of bed taught the two of them that.

"What time is it now?" Iain asked Lily.

"Two in the morning," Lily answered him, "How did she find out?"

"She was looking for the camera cable," Iain mentioned, "I should have found a better hiding place."

"Don't blame yourself," Lily gently scolded him, resting her head on his shoulder, "Maybe we should have told her before we got our heads round it."

"Would we ever get our heads around it?" Iain asked her, resting his head on hers, "Maybe she knows we're waiting here."

Iain felt Lily's nod and quietly, the two of them picked themselves up off the floor and was about to walk into the sitting room when they heard the door open.

"I don't know what to say," Gem admitted to the two of them, "I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing."

Iain and Lily looked at each other, before walking up to Gem. She wrapped her arms around the two of them, her tears beginning to fall, but Lily and Iain didn't care about that. They were worried about how she was going to cope to news. The reality is slowly starting to sink in between the two of them, as they both felt tears forming in their eyes. Why was their family affected? What's going to happen to them? Would Gem even be okay?

* * *

Two hours later, three plates with bacon cobs rested on the coffee table, along with three mugs of coffee, waiting to cool down and be drunk. Gem's was kept firmly in the middle, waiting to be eaten. She hasn't said a word since she came out of her room, but she didn't cry either. She just kept her eye on the leaflet that Iain showed her. The thought of him going through this is upsetting enough as it is. But what scares Gem is the knowledge that Iain and Lily are both fighting an illness that can potentially kill them.

"It's four in the morning," Gem whispered, "We should be in bed, not eating breakfast."

"I don't think anyone can sleep," Lily reminds her, "We do want to make sure you're going to be okay."

"How can I be?" Gem looked at her, "I'm the only one not being called back on news about cancer. Two people who I love are battling cancer."

"Might be," Iain reassured her, "We don't know yet. For all we know it could be an infection."

"That's what you said about Lily," Gem reminded her, "And she's preparing for the worst-case scenario."

Iain and Lily said nothing at them, silence giving Gem the answer.

"Thought so," Gem sighed, "What's going happen to you if you both have it?"

"We can work around it," Lily mentioned, "Maybe you can help us both. We made a promise a few days ago."

"No one goes alone," Iain explained to Gem, "If we have appointments that clash, someone goes with us."

Gem couldn't believe this. When they said they're preparing for the worst-case scenario, she didn't think that they would do this. They planned out what would happen if they both have it. That proves to Gem that they must be ready to fight cancer.

"Cancer must be feeling scared of you two right now," Gem gently begun to lighten up, "You're both ready for it."

"There's the Gem we know," Iain smiled, pulling her in for a hug, "And I owe you an apology."

"We both do," Lily explained, "We turned the thermostat up. We're sorry you were living in an igloo for the past few months."

"Huh?" Gem asked confused.

"Fever's a symptom for both conditions," Iain answered, "That was why we didn't believe you before."

Lily and Iain watched as Gem giggled, placing her hands over her yellow and pink dotted mug, taking gentle sips of her drink. She set the mug down before taking the sandwich, taking the bite of the greasy sandwich. She could tell who cooked that, Iain always cooks with grease.

"Suddenly I realised who cooked this," Gem set the sandwich down, "Iain hates grilled bacon."

"Yeah," Iain muttered, "It's wrong on so many levels. Like dunking Oreos in milk."

"Better than breaking them," Lily glared at him, taking a sip of her coffee.

* * *

Gem began to look through the DVDs and Blu-Rays determined to find a good film for the three of them to watch. She noticed a good few before looking away from the Fault in Our Stars.

"Found a decent one?" Iain called as Gem quickly hid the DVD, not wanting to be reminded of the word 'cancer'.

"Yeah," Gem answered, "When it is?"

"When's what?" Iain asked her.

"Your appointment?" Gem asked him, "That can't have been easy for you Tuesday. Going with Lily, knowing what she went through will happen to you."

"It prepared me," Iain explains to her, "But that's when I made the decision to tell Lily."

"It's clear you two are strong," Gem mentioned, "I don't think I could see you without Lily. Which is why I know you'll beat this."

Lily smiled at the two of them. But Iain and Gem noticed her behind them.

"Both of you," Gem smiled at them.

* * *

Gem managed to take the DVD out, pleased she picked a decent one as well. She pulled out Zombieland, happy that there's no mention of the word cancer as well. But she didn't notice Iain and Lily watching her from their bedroom.

"It can't be easy for her," Iain whispered, "I wish there was something I could do."

"Me too," Lily answered as well, "But she said we'll beat it."

"I'm confident we'll get through this," Iain smiled at her before noticing Lily folding her arms, "Something on your mind?"

"How do you beat cancer?" Lily asked him, "I know that people say they beat cancer when they survive it. But sometimes people could be miserable because of it. It takes away their future, their plans, everything."

"I have no idea," Iain answered her, "I always thought beating cancer means surviving it. I didn't have the chance to process the term, 'beating cancer'. I don't even know what it means."

Iain and Lily looked at each other with smiles. If the fear of cancer caused the two of them to have deep conversations like this, then what could happen if it does turn out one or both have cancer? Did they really take their future for granted, not knowing that the days they have left together could be numbered?

The pair were snapped out of their thoughts once they heard the film being played. The two turned to the screen and suddenly, they couldn't hold it in anymore.

"What's so funny?" Gem asked them both, "This is supposed to be a horror film, not a comedy."

"Yep," Iain whispered, "People will think we're mad."

"Shame they'll have to put up with us," Lily chuckled.

* * *

 _Two weeks later._

It was a case of déjà vu. Only this time, the roles were reserved. What did Iain do while he was waiting for her? There wasn't anything around that either of them could have done, whilst they were waiting for each other to leave the theatre. The television was on, but all Lily could do is think about Iain, going into the theatre, getting bone marrow removed, ready for it to be tested.

Lily smiled when the wait was over, and she watched as Iain and the nurse was brought back into the waiting room. Iain settled into the armchair, waiting for his observations to be checked up on. She placed her hand on top of his, providing the comfort that a few weeks ago, he provided for her.

"Hey," Iain smiled, "How was things?"

"How did you cope when I went in?" Lily asked him, "All I wanted to do was ponder."

"I struggled believe me," Iain chuckled, kissing her cheek, "Trust me, the waiting was the worst part of it. I can't believe we had the same haematologist."

"Dr Johnson must have been shocked to see us back again," Lily smiled before noticing her, "Speak of the devil."

They watched as Dr Johnson walked into the waiting room. It was strange to see her here, neither of them knowing exactly why she would come into the waiting room when there could be patients she needs to see. But more importantly, why is she walking towards them?

"Hello," she smiled, turning to Iain, "How did it go?"

"I can't move my arm," Iain explained, "Apart from that, I'm okay."

"Is everything okay?" Lily asked her, "Nothing strange happened with Iain's scan did it?"

"Actually," Dr Johnson explained, "I wanted to talk to you Lily. Your results from a few weeks ago came back whilst we were waiting. I wanted to arrange an appointment as soon as we possibly can."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked confused.

There was no one else in the waiting room. Just her, Iain, a nurse and Dr Johnson. What does she mean by as soon as possible?

"I haven't got anything else on today," she mentioned, "So I would like to explain to you about your results. The clinics busy the rest of the week. This may be the best chance we get to talk to you."

Lily and Iain froze when Dr Johnson explains that she wanted to talk to them sooner, rather than later. She had no clients to see to, so she could have used the opportunity to do some revision. But if she says todays the best day to give Lily her results, then it could only mean one thing.

"As soon as Iain is discharged," Dr Johnson explains, "I'll wait for you inside my office."

Iain and Lily watched as Dr Johnson walked away, leaving the two of them wondering what the results could mean. For all they know, it could be nothing. But it was clear Dr Johnson wanted to tell them as soon as she possibly could.

That could only mean one thing.

"I've got, I've got," Lily whispered, "I've got cancer."

* * *

 **I'm sorry this is short compared to the others. But the next chapter we'll learn a lot more about Lily's cancer and how far along it is.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The news came for Lily and Iain, and it was the last thing they wanted to hear.

 _Stage four Hodgkin's Lymphoma._

Hearing the news felt unbelievable, when they heard that it was cancer, they thought it'd be Stage Two or Three. But not Stage Four. Never Stage Four. This meant that the cancer is present within the bone marrow. It also meant that Lily would need treatment as soon as she possibly can.

It also meant that her chance of surviving it was lower than they originally thought it'd would be.

Iain felt confused when he heard this, when the two of them were told it was Stage Four, he thought that the cancer was terminal, incurable. It showed how little he knew about Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He didn't know Stage Four can be curable.

This gave him hope, there's a chance Lily could still survive this.

Iain watched as Lily sat down at the café table, staring at the coffee that he bought for her. It pained him to see her so quiet, so distant, so still. It was as if he didn't know what she was thinking, it made him feel nervous that he could say the wrong thing.

Iain watched as Lily sent a text message, knowing exactly who she was texting.

"You told her?" Iain asked her.

"I need to," Lily whispered, "I have to make plans, I have to be ready."

Iain placed his hand on top of hers, stroking her hand with his thumb. He tried to be strong for her, and for himself. They were only here for him to get answers behind his coughing fits and his nose bleeds. Now they're being told the news that the two of them have been dreading, their future has now been wiped away.

"I also need to be ready," Lily looked at him, "Just in case."

"Don't say that," Iain insisted, placing his other hand below hers, "You've heard what Dr Johnson said. It's treatable and it's curable."

"Seventy-five percent," Lily reminded him, her tears beginning to form, "That's the odds she gave me of surviving this. I have a one of four chance of dying."

"And you have a three in four chance of surviving it," Iain wiped the first tear to leave Lily's eye, "Oh, Lily. I wished there was something I could do."

"There's isn't anything else you could have done," Lily explained, "I'm glad you came with me. We should get home."

* * *

"Mrs Beauchamp," Louise walked over to Connie, slightly nervous about what she was going to ask, "Am I okay to ask you something?"

Connie looked up from her phone, trying to process what Lily's message meant. She knew that Lily was going in for tests regarding the possibility that she could have cancer, but she didn't know that Lily was being summoned to talk to her doctor. And the message sounded urgent, which can only mean one thing.

"Sure," Connie tried to distract herself, unable to process or think about what is happening.

"My friend's wedding is in a weeks' time," Louise commented, "I've only just received the invite in the post. Can I ask for the Tuesday after next week off so I can go please?"

"I'll have to check," Connie mentioned, wondering when Lily will probably be going for her first chemotherapy treatment, "I'll let you know when I get more information."

Louise smiled before walking away, only for her to walk past Ethan.

"Dr Hardy," Connie called him, "Can I have a word please?"

Ethan felt nervous when he was summoned into the office, he didn't know why he was being summoned. Or what he did that made Connie want to talk to him, but he knew she had something on her mind that was distracting her.

The two walked into the office, Connie sat down at her desk. Ethan realised that she was trying to keep a brave face, but she was clearly struggling to get her head around whatever the problem is.

"What's wrong?" Ethan asked her.

"Have you spoken to Lily?" Connie asked him, "She texted me, saying she got the news from the hospital. I've rung her and, and."

"I didn't know she went for her results," Ethan muttered, shaking his head, "Did she answer?"

"Stage Four," Connie explained, the first tear leaving her face, "Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She was called back today."

"No," Ethan began to shake his head, not wanting it to be true, Lily couldn't be, she couldn't, "Do you know when her first treatment starts?"

"The Tuesday after next week," Connie explained, "I've spoken to Iain. He's going to be taking her there. Something about 'never going alone'?"

"Sounds about right," Ethan explained, "It's not easy. I'll go and see her tonight after work."

"Actually," Connie looked at him, "I think you should go now. I'll cover the rest of your shift. Right now, Lily could do with a friend."

* * *

"Oh, my goodness," Jan gasped over the phone, "Thank you for letting me know Iain. Give Lily my love."

Jan quietly set her phone down on the table, unable to process the news that she was just given. She opened the top drawer and took out a photo of George. The tears slowly began to build up in her eyes as she brushed her brother's picture. Why is all this bringing her back to him now? She wanted to hate George for not telling the family sooner, she really did! What made the story worse was that he was thirty-five when he died, the same age as Iain is now. She wanted to hate her brother, but was this why he waited before telling her? Was he trying to spare her the pain of what is going on?

Jan quickly put the photo back in the drawer when she heard a knock on the door. Composing herself, she was relieved to see it was Cal who came in.

"Is everything okay Dr Knight?" Jan asked him, pretending that she wasn't upset.

"Yeah," Cal answered, "I was wondering if you've spoken to Iain. Asked him how the tests went?"

"I think the tests are the least of Iain's worries right now," Jan sighed to Cal's concern, "They called Lily back in, right there and then."

Cal froze when he heard this. The feeling shot him through, all over the place. The only way Lily could have been called back so quickly was if…if…if.

"Stage Four," Jan explained, "Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She'll be going in for treatment in two weeks."

"Oh," Cal sighed, startled to hear this, "Surely, if it's at that stage, they'd see her as soon as."

"Yeah," Jan sighed, "I shouldn't have told you that."

"No," Cal mentioned, "I needed to know. I'm the only other person who knows."

* * *

The leaflet was once again the main attraction of the coffee table. Iain was unable to find the right words to say regarding the leaflet, or the tests he took, or the answers Lily had received. The silence the two of them were experiencing was something that they really didn't need at all. It made the situation that they're in very uncomfortable, almost as if they didn't want to believe that this is happening to them.

"How long has it been?" Lily whispered, not even looking at Iain as she asked him.

"Two minutes," Iain answered, leaning his hand closer, ready for Lily to reach out.

"That's okay," Lily whispered, trying to reassure herself, "Two minutes, trying not to think about it. But all I can do was think about it," she reached out to Iain's hand, allowing him to turn his hand so their fingers intertwined, "I'm scared. I'm scared of what's going to happen."

"I know," Iain turned to face her, "I'm scared as well. I wish there was something I could do to help."

"There is," Lily turned her head as well, "You're already doing it."

Iain was about to say something, before he heard a knock on the door. Letting go of Lily's hand, he made his way over to the door, opening it to find Ethan waiting for them.

"Mrs Beauchamp told me," Ethan whispered, "Is this a bad time?"

"No mate," Iain whispered, "You came at the right time."

* * *

When Louise checked the board, she noticed that her name has been listed down for being in that very Tuesday that she wanted to have off. She already contacted her friend who was already annoyed with her for bailing out on the best day of her life. Louise didn't understand, normally Connie would allow to arrange for cover for staff on short notice, so why not this time? After all the shifts Connie asked her to cover for, this was how she repaid her?

She is soon alarmed to notice that once again, Lily's name has been taken off the rota for that very day Louise asked off. This is getting beyond a joke now! Why is Lily Chao getting all that special treatment? Why does she think she's a cut above the others? Why was Lily so special in the first place? With her relationship with Iain now, Lily is embracing her days off, but still makes work a priority.

"You okay?" Alicia snapped Louise out of her thoughts.

"No," Louise muttered, walking away from the board, "I asked for next Tuesday off. I was rejected. And Lily was once again allowed to have time off! How much more does she actually need?"

"It doesn't sound like her," Alicia commented.

"There is only so much time off she can have!" Louise complained, "Mrs Beauchamp needs to stop making excuses for Lily!"

"That's enough!" Alicia and Louise looked up to notice Gem is in the staff room, having heard everything, "I'm sorry Mrs Beauchamp can't give you the time off for your friend's wedding but there is no excuse to take it out on Lily. You don't know what she's going through right now!"

"Oh, come on," Louise mentioned, "It's not as if she's got cancer!"

Louise and Alicia suddenly grew silent the moment they realised Gem isn't saying a single word about that statement.

"Oh my God," Louise whispered, shocked by her attitude now, "It is cancer. Isn't it?"

"I knew it didn't sound right," Alicia muttered as Gem is forced to nod, "Lily wouldn't ask for so much time off."

Gem couldn't believe what she just did. Iain wanted to wait before Lily felt ready to tell everyone the news, but she couldn't hold it in how rotten Louise was being behind Lily's back. If Louise knew the additional parts of the story, who knows how guilty she would feel, especially when she knew the true reason Lily asked for today off for.

* * *

Ethan followed Iain into the sitting room, when he noticed that Lily was still, silent, uncertain about her future. He couldn't blame her, but he is slowly starting to recognise her actions, it felt familiar. It was a mystery, but he can easily recognise her actions.

He was the exact same when he discovered he had Huntington's Disease.

It was Lily who comforted him when he learned the news. It was Lily who reminded him he can still live a fulfilling life with his condition. And it was Lily who told him to stay positive despite everything that is happening to him.

But Ethan knew that he has the genes for the condition, but he received word of warning that he could have a condition that could kill. But poor Lily never had any word of warning. Her symptoms have been sudden, her cancer has been sudden, how her life has turned out have been sudden. No word of warning, no family that had the condition, no tests to see if she will have the condition.

Ethan mentally kicked himself. Lily has just received the news she was dreading and here he was, thinking about his own condition. His best friend needs him now, more than ever, some friend he turned out to be.

"Lily?" Ethan walked over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder, still no movement from her.

Ethan saw what Lily was focused on, and it pained him when he saw it. A leaflet, informing Lily about the treatments she'll be facing. Working whilst battling cancer as well as the effect cancer will have with relationships. Ethan looked at Iain, wondering what he's thinking about as well with the battle. This isn't going to be easy for either of them, he only wished he knew what to say.

"I was there was something I could do," Ethan sighed, sitting next to Lily, "I don't know what to say."

"I'm scared," Lily whispered, "Stage Four. I only found a lump a few weeks ago. How did I not notice it before?"

Ethan and Iain said nothing, it wasn't easy, there's nothing to say, not one thing they can say could make things better. Ethan watched as Iain pulled Lily in for a hug, brushing her hair with his fingers, letting Lily rest on his chest. Ethan saw Lily relax in his arms, smiling at the two, knowing that they can get through this.

Ethan watched as Lily wrapped her arms around Iain's waist, almost as if she doesn't want to let go. He turned to the table, before something catches his eye. He carefully picks it up to find a leaflet, about leukaemia. Ethan looked at Iain and Lily, confused. Wasn't Lily diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma? Why do they have a leaflet on that?

Ethan snapped out from his thoughts when the three heard a knock on the door. Ethan sat down with Lily whilst Iain ran to get the door. Ethan began to move closer to Lily, who finally turned to face the door.

"I don't know what to say," Ethan sighed, "But I want you to know. You won't go through this alone."

"I know," Lily smiled at him, "I got Iain, and you guys as well to help."

"That's the first time I've seen you smile," Ethan smiled, "Maybe I do make a good counsellor."

"Please don't quit being a doctor," Ethan and Lily turned to see Cal with Iain, "Jan told me what happened. Lily I'm."

"Please don't say it," Lily interrupted him, "I don't want to hear the words, 'I'm sorry'."

"Actually," Cal mentioned, scratching his head, "I was going to say, 'I'm here if you need anything.'"

"I just need to feel normal again," Lily sighed, "I know it's going to be a while."

"You were never normal to begin with," Ethan rolled his eyes, "You spend your breaks reading, you dunk biscuits in milk, even flavoured milk at that, and recently you were caught giggling at a guy dressed as a zombie."

Lily and Iain reacted to that word the only way they knew how.

"See?" Ethan mentioned, "I only said the word and you're both off like a couple of hyenas."

"You know," Cal mentioned, "You two have got to tell us what happened when you went for your blood tests."

Ethan jumped at that statement, should Cal have said test? Why did he say tests? What were the two of them hiding? What does Cal know that he doesn't?

"Tests?" Ethan asked them.

Iain and Lily looked at Cal, who realised what he just blurted out. He forgot that Ethan doesn't know that Iain has been going through some health problems of his own.

"I mean test," Cal tried to save face, "Just a test."

"Cal it's too late now," Lily sighed, turning to Iain, "It's not my place to tell however."

"Lily," Iain shook his head, "I don't want to make this about me. We need to make sure you're okay."

"And what if it was what we were dreading?" Lily took his hand, "We made a promise. No one."

"Goes alone," Iain finished with her, squeezing her hand.

Ethan was starting to worry now. What was going on?

"I was having problems myself," Iain explained, as Lily closed his hand with hers, "I was having coughing fits and nose bleeds. So, when Lily booked for her appointment, I booked for one myself."

"What?" Ethan asked, as Cal placed his hand on Iain's shoulder.

"We went for blood tests together the next day," Lily carried on, "They were kind enough to let us go in together."

"I was called back a week later," Iain explained, "They wanted me to go to the Haematologist."

"That was why you were at the hospital," Ethan concluded, "Iain, mate. That can't have been easy for you."

"Yeah," Iain sighed, "We were there to get my tests done, when we were called back to see Lily."

Ethan thought back to the leaflet he found earlier. That leaflet wasn't about Lily's cancer, it was about Iain's.

"They think it could be," Iain tried to say it, but he found himself unable to, the moment he saw Lily.

"Leukaemia," Lily explained to Ethan, "Only Cal, Jan and Gem know. We don't want anyone else to find out."

"Not even Sam?" Ethan asked them, "Iain, she's your best friend!"

"Ethan, when you found out Lily could have cancer," Iain reminded him, "How did you feel?"

"Okay, I panicked," Ethan sighed, "I was scared I was going to lose Lily. I was also scared I was going to say something that would hurt her. I was scared."

"Exactly," Iain explained, "Scared, and you saw what she was like with Lily."

Ethan thought back to how he coped when he learned that Lily could have cancer. He wanted to protect her, completely scared that she was going to die. But all Lily wanted to be treated the way she was normally treated. She didn't want people checking up on her, scared that she could explode. But Ethan and Sam however, kept fretting over her. They didn't stop to think maybe they were overreacting to Lily having cancer.

Maybe that was why they were reluctant to tell them about Iain having cancer as well.

* * *

Jan kept her eyes on George's photo, still thinking about how different her life would have been if he was still around. She still can't imagine what was going through George's mind the moment he was told that he had cancer. How long was he battling it for, before he finally told his family what was wrong?

She thought back to her niece Melody. She was nine years old when her father died ten years ago. Her mother has been struggling financially right now, and Melody was working two part time jobs whilst studying for her A-levels to at least save the money that she'll need to be financially independent. What would Melody's life have been like if her father was around?

Was Iain and Lily lucky they didn't have kids to think about? Jan wasn't sure. Were they going to be sad that now their future isn't set out in stone? Jan wasn't sure.

"Enter!" Jan called out when someone knocked on the door, allowing Sam to walk through.

"Jan," Sam panted, "I heard from Alicia. Is it true about Lily?"

Were their friends going to be worried? That was something Jan was sure about.

"Stage Four," Jan explained, "Hodgkin's Lymphoma."

"It's still curable," Sam sighed, "Poor Lily. Did they mention where the cancer was also present in?"

"Iain hasn't said," Jan mentioned, careful with her words, as Sam doesn't know that Iain and Lily were at the hospital earlier before, "They were called in last night. Lily's first chemotherapy treatment is in two weeks. A bit too late if you ask me."

"It is," Sam sighed, "I'll might go and see her."

"I'd wait," Jan suggested, "Ethan and Cal are already there, too many people being there could overwhelm Lily."

* * *

"Gem just texted me," Iain sighed, sitting next to Lily, "Heads up, Alicia and Louise both know what's going off."

Lily didn't care about that at all. All she wanted to do was pretend this nightmare never existed, that she and Iain weren't having this dark cloud around them. But she remembered one thing. The cloud wasn't so dark, not if Iain is around.

"What's wrong?" Iain asked her.

"Nothing," Lily smiled at him, "For the first time in a while, things are finally beginning to look real."

"I'm scared now," Iain stated, "Real as in how?"

"Do you ever feel," Lily mentioned, looking at the ceiling, "You've taken life for granted, going under the belief that you'll live forever? For the first time in a while, I've felt something. It was like someone pushed me out a plane, despite knowing that I'm scared of heights."

"Now I'm confused."

"Ever since we found the lump," Lily explained, "I begun to look back on my life. I've thought about all the times I took life for granted."

"What about that 'Five-year plan'?" Iain asked, "You were the most organised person I've ever met."

"Don't you remember what I said that day?" Lily asked him, "People come into your life and it changes things. Since I've fallen for you, I realised that life doesn't rely on plans. It was as if I took us for granted. Thinking we were going to have forever. A few weeks ago, I mentioned to Cal that I thought our future was set out in stone. There was a field of golden grass, the sun was shining, making the clouds disappear in fear. And wind felt amazing. It felt peaceful, quiet, except for the drum beat that I was listening to."

"Drum-beat?" Iain asked her, taking in every word, this sounds like a future he wanted in on.

"Your heartbeat," Lily smiled at him, "My favourite sound in the world. I felt you playing with my hair, stroking my back. All the while, we just stayed in the grass, as if it's our bed for the night. Nothing could have ruined the moment. Nothing at all."

"Sounds like a future, I like the sound of," Iain smiled, moving closer to her, "Anything else?"

"That's it," Lily mentioned, "I mean, there are things I haven't told you about me. And I feel as if I wasted my time living in the present and thinking about the future, I never even had time to think about my past. I never even told you what I wanted to be when I was three."

"Oh, that's easy," Iain scoffed, amused, "A doctor. What else?"

"I almost don't want to tell you," Lily tried to hide her head in her hair, "Its daft."

"I won't laugh," Iain looked at her, "I can't make any promises, but I'll try to refrain myself."

"I wanted to be a bird," Lily shut her eyes, not wanting to see the look on Iain's face.

"A bird?" Iain asked her, shocked, "I don't understand."

"I told you it was silly," Lily admitted.

"No, I don't understand," Iain explained, "Why a bird? You could be a dragon, a lion, a monkey, a cat. Why a bird?"

"Because we always have to take turns to get to where we want to be," Lily explained, "We always have to pay to go exploring. Not to mention there's we can't find out where we are when we get lost. Birds on the other hand, they can travel in a straight line. It doesn't cost a thing and they can always fly up to see where they are if they ever get lost."

"Suddenly the idea of being a bird appeals to me," Iain chuckled.

"I never got that wish," Lily muttered, sulking, "Here I am, a boring human being."

"Eh not that boring," Iain pulled her in for a hug, "That is the most interesting thing I've ever heard. It really does get you thinking."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was worried that I rushed everything throughout. I've made the decision to tie this main story in and do six stories within this story, with Iain and Lily taking the centre stage of it.**

 **I hope you'll enjoy this.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Iain watched as Lily begun to research the effects on what chemotherapy could do. Even though it depressed the two of them, it was something they needed to think about whilst Lily (and possibly Iain) were going through. So far, they found that chemotherapy could result in hair loss (which the two already know) and well as a change in appetite. But they didn't realise how different their lives will be because of treatment. Learning about it made things feel a bit easier from a patient's point of view.

"Why am I nervous for tomorrow?" Lily sighed, closing her laptop, "I already know what's going to happen. It'll be thirty minutes of the chemo drugs through my veins. I shouldn't feel scared about it."

"It's natural," Iain drapes his arm around her, "We're all scared of what's going to happen next. At least we prepared ourselves."

"Yeah," Lily smiled as Iain brushed her hair with his fingers, "Are you sure you want to come with me? You don't have to."

"We promised," Iain reminded her, "No one goes alone. Besides Jan's already allowed me to have time off to come with you."

Lily was about to say something when they heard Iain's phone ringing to the annoying sound of 'Baby Shark'. Just when the craze was over and everyone was getting tired, Iain's phone kept on going on and on and on. Everyone told Lily and Sam they feel for them as they're the ones having to put up with it more than anyone else.

"You really need to change your ringtone," Lily frowned, "I can't imagine what Sam would do if she heard that in the ambo."

"There is nothing wrong with that!" Iain stuck his tongue out, before answering it, "Hello?" Lily kept her ear close, ready to hear it, "They came back? Wait, you want me to come in tomorrow? But Lily's chemo appointment is tomorrow," Iain looked at her concerned, "I know it's important."

Lily knew right there who was calling and why they were calling. Carefully, she touched the speaker button on Iain's screen to his shock.

"He'll take it," she announced to the two of them, "The fastest you get the results, the better your chances are of beating it."

Iain looked at her, worried as it means that the promise the two of them had made could about to be broken. They agreed that no one goes alone, but they haven't fully prepared themselves in case they'd had to go to different appointments set at the same time.

"Okay," Iain sighed, "I'll take it. I'll see you tomorrow."

Iain hung up the phone and looked at Lily. He pulled her in for a hug and felt her arms wrapping around his waist, when he felt how tight she was squeezing, it almost felt as if she was holding onto him for dear life. Almost as if she wanted everything to be okay. Almost, almost, almost.

As if she didn't want to let him go.

Iain tightened his grip on her, jamming his eyes shut, allowing him to release the tears that threaten to leave his eyes. Dr Johnson was adamant to see him, as soon as possible, which can only mean one thing.

It's cancer.

Iain and Lily both released their grip on each other, revealing to the other that they were both trying (and failing) to fight the tears. If it wasn't real before, it was real now.

They were both fighting cancer, but while they know what Lily is up against, they're not sure about Iain. And they need to find out.

"So much for no one goes alone," Iain sighed, only to watch Lily grab her phone from besides Iain, "What are you doing?"

"You'll still need someone with you," Lily declared, searching her contact, "I'm calling Cal. He's off tomorrow anyway."

* * *

Sam began to push up her weights again, determined to top her record. Iain's record. Cal's record. Everyone's records, she was willing to smash. Anything to distract herself from today at least. She was on standby for news on Lily, but she knew Lily wanted to get the first chemotherapy treatment over with.

"Come on," she set the weights down again as she heard Lily's voice, "Prove to the men women can be stronger."

Sam giggled as she picked herself up, "Shouldn't you be in chemo?"

"I'm going in a minute," Lily smiled, "I just wanted a bit of gossip before I go, so that there isn't any gloom to think about whilst I'm there. Also, if you could do me a favour and get rid of that stupid ringtone, I'd appreciate it."

"I've got the window on standby," Sam smirked, "It's doing my head in as well."

"Thanks," Lily smiled, "I'd best get going."

"Wait a minute," Sam frowned, confused, where is Iain? "What about Iain? He said he was going with you."

Lily froze. If was as if Sam just shined a flashlight over her, in a court room, asking her what the hell was she thinking? She couldn't tell Sam the truth, she'd betray Iain's trust. She couldn't tell him where Cal was going, she'd get suspicious. But she couldn't tell Sam that Iain didn't go, she'd berate him for abandoning Lily in her time of need.

"Iain was called away," Lily lied, "Family emergency."

"I warned Iain," Sam groaned, "He keeps making the same mistake! How the hell is Gem going to learn?"

Lily felt bad, not only did she lie to Iain's best friend, she also got one of her closest friends in trouble. She made a mental note to warn Iain and Gem about the lie she told to throw Sam off the scent.

"Right," Sam sighed, "My shift finished anyway. A paramedic was supposed to go with you to your chemo session and that is what's going to happen!"

* * *

"I'd tell Sam first chance you'd get," Cal advised Iain in the waiting room, "She's annoyed that you bailed on Lily during her first round of chemo."

"I'm not surprised," Iain sighed taking in the white wall, once again decorated with the signs of cancer, "I hate the thought of Lily being alone in there."

"Don't," Cal assured him placing a hand on his shoulder, "Sam messaged and said she's with her. So, she won't be on her own."

Cal noticed that his words hadn't made things feel easier for Iain. But what would? There he is, waiting to be told whether his life is going to change and already he's dealing with a huge change. It doesn't help that Iain is constantly distracted with the thought of Lily going through chemo, or the guilt that he was dealing with by not being there to support her.

The memory that Cal recalled a few weeks ago seemed like a long shot.

"Hey," Cal suggested, "How about once this is over, we'd go for a kebab? It could give you a distraction."

"You're sounding as if I'm going to get the all clear," Iain muttered, "Cal, I appreciate the thought, but in all honesty, I just want to see Lily after this is over."

"Iain Dean?"

Iain and Cal looked up to see Dr Johnson in the hallway. Her hair was once again tied back but this time, she was wearing a red dress with a mixture of pink and yellow flowers. She seemed to be wearing her contacts. Just like she did a few weeks back.

"Hello," Iain greeted her, "This is my friend Cal."

"I understand this isn't the easiest of times for you or Lily," Dr Johnson sighed, "But good thinking on bringing a friend in. Is anyone with Lily?"

"Yeah," Cal answered, "Our friend Sam."

* * *

The waiting room looked a lot different in the cancer unit than it did in the haematology department. Not that Lily was complaining or anything. It felt nice to see magazines at the side of the bay, the portable television with the slots for headphones to go in. Even the women in her situation felt comfortable. Lily was surprised. She was expecting to be a youngest one in the bay, but she looked far from being the only one.

The only thing that is making her uncomfortable is knowing that whilst she is having a group of drugs enter her veins. The anxious feeling of not knowing what is happening to Iain is looming over her.

Taking a deep sigh, Lily grabs her phone, ready to text Cal.

 _Make sure Iain is okay._

Lily was terrified to see the reaction from Iain the next time she sees him. It'll be the moment where they learn how much cancer has affected the two of them. She tried to get her head round it, but it wasn't easy when she knew what they were going through.

"Hey," Lily looked up, suddenly remembering Sam is sitting beside her, "You're in good hands."

"I know," Lily sighed, "I'm just worried."

"I understand," Sam smiled.

But does she? She wasn't the one being called back to discuss blood tests, nor was she the one being told she could have cancer!

The thought of Iain waiting for his results slowly begun to make Lily feel nervous and looking at the lilac walls around the bay wasn't helping, nor were the magazines, nor were the portable television. Even Sam being there, moaning about Iain wasn't helping Lily feel comfortable. They haven't even inserted the needle into Lily's veins, so she wasn't comforted by the fact that it was over. All Lily wanted to do was grab her phone, text Iain, tell him she can wait for the next appointment as he needs her with him. She felt guilty, he was with her when she got her results, why was she in the room, when she could be with him.

"Excuse me?" Lily's thoughts were interrupted by the woman sitting next to her, making her realise that while she was thinking of Iain, she was unknowingly patting her knees, "You're patting your knees a bit loud."

"Sorry," Lily apologised, "I'll stop."

"No," the woman chuckled, "I'm complaining because there's no rhythm in there. It goes fast to slow, then fast again. Make up your mind."

Sam looked at the woman, annoyed with her attitude. Did she not stop to think that it was Lily's first-time having chemotherapy? Her pink hair reached her elbows, surprising Sam to notice that there were no split ends, clearly the hair is a wig. The girl's black jeans were ripped at the shins of the legs and her shirt had an image of an eighties cartoon idol which Sam struggled to remember. To Sam, this girl looked confidence, arrogant, rebellious, it scared her, especially when Lily unwittingly attracted her attention.

"I beg your pardon," Sam interjected, "Can't you see this is her first time here?"

"Sam don't," Lily pleaded with her.

"I'm sorry," the woman apologised to Lily, "That was rude of me."

"No," Lily reassured her, "I didn't realise I was doing it. I was thinking."

Lily was surprised with her attitude. She seemed so calm, relaxed, rebellious. It was almost as if she didn't care that she was having chemotherapy. The pink haired girl who was clearly wearing a wig didn't have the fear looming over her. In fact, she felt more annoyed about being here instead of scared. She didn't want Sam to know that she wished she had that attitude.

"This isn't your first time here, is it?" Lily asked, knowing she is walking on thin ice.

"I had cancer before," the woman explained, "I was sixteen when I was diagnosed with bone cancer. I couldn't pronounce the name of it, I think it was osteosarahcoma."

"Osteosarcoma," Lily corrected her, "I'm a doctor."

"I've always wanted to see a doctor be a patient," the woman commented.

"Yeah, that rumour of doctors being the worst patients?" Lily muttered, "It's true."

Sam couldn't believe her eyes. This girl's attitude didn't bother Lily at all, in fact, it was a welcome distraction for her.

"I'm Cinda," she smiled, "Short for Lucinda."

"I'm Lily," Lily smiled back, "This is my friend Sam, she was kind enough to come with me."

"Her boyfriend bailed on her," Sam muttered, "I'll be having words with him when I see him."

* * *

Dr Johnson's room hasn't changed one bit for Iain. The posters haven't changed, neither has the examination table. The walls haven't even changed colour either. Iain hated this room, especially when it has given him and Lily nothing but bad news from the start to the finish. Only, the race hasn't finished, Iain realised it. Lily is in a room two floors up, waiting to get drugs injected into her veins, hoping to kill the cells that are giving her grief.

It was the squeeze from the shoulders that relaxed him slightly, giving him the comfort that he needed. He knew that Lily will be thinking of him, just as he was thinking of her. When the results are over, he'll be able to sit down with Lily. Reassure her, try to cheer her up, explaining himself to a hacked off Sam.

"Okay," Dr Johnson sat herself down, "Why don't we get started?"

"Thanks," Iain sighed, "I know you wanted to see me as fast as possible, so I'm aware it isn't good news."

"Well, we had a look at your PET scan and your bone marrow," she explained, showing a diagram which Iain recognised as his body, "You may have recognised this from Lily's PET scan. You may have noticed that Lily's scan had shown areas where the cancer was present. This is the scan we did from yours."

Iain didn't even want to look at it, he can already see that there were traces of red, yellow and green within the blood stream. A few weeks ago, he and Lily were told that indicated the level of activity within the cells and how fast they were growing, a clear indication of cancer. The image he was shown, it shows the same thing that Lily's did.

Cancer.

Iain tried to distract himself, he wanted to pretend that this wasn't happening to him. To Lily. To both. He noticed the mirror behind Dr Johnson, but it wasn't him at all, it was Lily, trying so hard to desperately fight the tears that were falling down her face. Trying to come up with how unfair it must be for the two of them. Going through the worst news any couple could face.

Iain hated this. All his plans have slowly disappeared. The engagement, the wedding, the first child, the first grandchild. Iain wanted the future where he and Lily were growing old together, living their final days in a home, before peacefully passing away together.

This isn't what Iain wanted. The future, it doesn't feel right somehow.

Especially when they don't know what will happen now.

"You okay?" Cal snapped Iain out of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry," Iain begun to sob, "I can't believe this. This isn't fair, not to her."

Cal couldn't believe this; Iain has just received news that he has cancer. That he'd need treatment to kill the cancer cells that were giving him problems. That there was a chance his future would be completely different to what he had planned to do. That there was a chance he may not survive the battle.

But Iain's thought wasn't about himself. It was about Lily.

Cal wasn't sure if he would understand it. He suddenly remembered the text message that Lily had sent him a few minutes ago. Whilst she was having treatment that could potentially save her life. Her initial thought was Iain and making sure he was okay.

Thinking back to the day of the Christmas party, Cal begun to think that Iain and Lily probably shouldn't be a couple, since they don't have much in common.

A lot can change during the year.

* * *

Lily wasn't going to lie, the drugs felt horrible when it was being pumped into her veins. The moment she felt the first amount of fluid enter her veins, it felt as if she touched a hot pan or worse, a wasp sting spreading through her body. Lily knew that the pain wasn't from the piercing of the skin, but the fluid reacting differently to her body. She wanted to scream, fight it away.

And then she felt those annoying bugs in her skin.

Lily realised that those bugs are now trying to defend themselves against the molecules that are entering the battlefield. And they're slowly starting to take it steady. It means that they're afraid now that Lily is getting help to get rid of them.

The pain she's experiencing will be worth it to see the end of those bugs.

"You're okay?" Lily looked to see Cinda, bravely taking the chemotherapy drugs, as if the pain she's experiencing is nothing.

"It is painful at first?" Lily asked her.

"It can be," Cinda answered her, "I don't want to sugar coat it for you."

"Why are you being so brave about it?" Lily asked her, "I wish I had some of that courage."

Cinda felt taken back when Lily asked her that question. She's forgotten about how scared she was when she was first diagnosed with cancer. She was sixteen, starting to take her first exam when she was given the news. At sixteen, she felt the same pain Lily was feeling after the first session. At sixteen, she begun to feel depressed, when her raven hair started to fall out. At seventeen, she was given the news that she was cancer free and Cinda begun to gain a new perspective on life.

"Remember this isn't my first battle with cancer," Cinda explained, "I was sixteen, ready to take my exams. Then I was told I had cancer, within my first week of therapy, I was slowly starting to feel depressed, I was vomiting every day after the first session and then my hair started to fall out."

"What happened when you got the all clear?" Lily asked her.

"I celebrated," Cinda smiled, "I begun to think that life is a gift. I completed my A-levels at nineteen and I started to work in a shop. I even joined a band, I'm a bass player."

"What were you called?" Lily asked her.

"Saving Cinda," she answered, "My bandmates were friends from school who supported me through my first battle. They're on tour now, I was meant to be going with them."

"The cancer came back," Lily realised, "That's why you're not with them."

"They wanted to wait," Cinda explained, "But cancer had already stopped me from going on tour. I wasn't going to let cancer ruin five more lives. Besides, my bandmate, Lexi plays the bass and the guitar so she can take over while I'm fighting this."

"How are you coping now?" Lily asked, "It can't have been easy going around it a second time."

"I thought about what made me depressed," Cinda explained, "I wasn't scared the second time around as I know what will happen. With the treatment, with my body and with my friends. I'll tell you what I did when I got home after being told the news."

"What was that?" Lily asked her.

"I shaved my hair off straight away," Cinda mentioned, "I remembered whenever a chunk of hair fell down, I felt upset. It then became a relief when it all fell. I didn't want to upset myself, so I grabbed a razor then screamed."

"I wished I had your courage," Lily mentioned.

"Never mind that," Cinda smiled, "What about this boyfriend of yours? You need to get rid of him if he isn't being supportive."

Lily remembered that Sam was out of the bay to go and order some drinks for herself. She suddenly realised that she was in a safe place to explain the story.

"I made him miss out," Lily explained, "Sam doesn't know that bit and I don't her to know."

"Why?" Cinda asked her.

"When I went to the GP, he was going through some health problems as well," Lily confided, "He went at the same time as I did. We thought it was just an infection."

"It wasn't was it?"

"We don't know," Lily answered, relieved to confide in someone.

* * *

Sam took one sip of the coffee, after adding a sachet of sugar that she stocked up on. Although she felt uncomfortable leaving Lily in the bay alone with that girl Cinda, she was relieved that Lily was finding her first session okay.

Sam walked towards the bay that Lily and Cinda were sitting in, realising that the two of them didn't notice she was there.

"He was called back in a week later," she heard Lily say, "Referred to the haematologist."

"That can't be good," Cinda answered.

"He had a phone call yesterday," Sam listened in, noticing Lily's voice breaking slightly, "He tried to rearrange it for another time, but she insisted he'd go to see. So, I told her he'll go. I asked our friend Cal to go with him."

Sam froze when she heard this. Lily, she couldn't be talking about Iain, could she?

She realised something wasn't right! Iain was insistent that he'd go with Lily to her first chemotherapy session. Then suddenly at the last moment, Lily told Sam she was going alone. How long were Iain and Lily keeping that bit secret from her? And Cal knows as well?

"They think it's Leukaemia," Lily confirmed Sam's fears, "And when they called him in, we knew that's the case."

That's when Sam fell on her knees. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her best friend, was fighting a condition that could potentially kill him? It suddenly made sense, the feeling of being in the sauna, the sudden nose bleeds, the coughing fits.

" _Die quietly Iain."_

Sam didn't realise she was panting out loud that someone could hear her. She couldn't think of anything at this moment. She was slating Iain, having a go at him for missing out on an important part of Lily's treatment, when all this time, he was trying to prolong his life so that he can support her.

" _Die quietly Iain."_

Lily's appointment regarding her results were kept quiet. Sam kept asking her when they were due, but Lily heard nothing. She would have told her straight away when her results were back, but then out of the blue, she was told that Lily's got cancer. Confirmed, Lily never told her. Lily must have heard her results came back when they went in to do tests on Iain to see if he's got cancer.

" _Die quietly Iain."_

Iain's coughing fits. Sam's been making jokes about that. What kind of friend was she, when she didn't realise her best friend was ill?

"Sam?"

Sam looked up to notice she lowered herself onto the floor when she heard Lily asking her if she was okay. She picked herself up, feeling guilty that she was thinking of herself, when Iain is getting results and Lily was having an uncomfortable experience.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Lily suddenly realised that whilst she was pouring her heart out to a stranger, she missed Sam entering the room. She heard everything. She now knows about Iain's appointment. Was she guilty for telling her? Yes, it wasn't her place. Was she angry? Yes, she should have been observant. Was she secretly relieved? Yes, she hated lying and it caused them a lot of problems.

"I couldn't," Lily explained, "It was a horrible thing to think about."

"You were worried about Iain," Sam realised, "That was why you were fidgeting. How did I not realise this?"

"He didn't want me to know," Lily reassured her, "I was surprised he told me. You know what he's like."

"Why couldn't he tell me?" Sam asked her, realising that telling Lily was harder, "Sorry, I'm thinking of myself. I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not," Lily reassured her, "You've just been dealt some news that would scare anyone."

* * *

"You sure you want to wait for Lily?" Cal asked Iain.

"She needs me," he answered, "She's going to need the support after her appointment."

Cal couldn't believe how strong Iain was being about this. He was told that he was suffering from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia, but all the paramedic was thinking about was Lily and what she was going through. Even after they left the room, Cal suggested they go home as he knows Iain will need to tell his sister, but all Iain wanted to do was see Lily. It must be love.

Cal suddenly checked his messages, noticing that Sam had texted him.

 _Lily told me, tell Iain I'm sorry please. Xx_

Cal noticed that Iain had just placed his phone in his pocket, the reality is sinking him for them both. Iain and Lily were both fighting cancer, they were both going to be taking medication, they were both going through some changes in their lives. There was also a chance that they may not be around much longer, despite the two reassuring everyone that they are not going to be living with a death sentence over their heads.

Cal and Iain watched as Lily and Sam slowly walked towards them. Sam froze when she saw Iain and Cal's eyes. It was clear to the girls what Iain's results had confirmed.

Lily ran straight into Iain's arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his back, resting her head in his chest. Iain wrapped his arms around her waist just as tight, burying his head in her shoulders. He could hear the silent sobbing into his chest, not caring that his shirt was going to get stained in Lily's salty tears. The moment he heard the first loud sniff, he couldn't hold it in, and sobbed into Lily's shoulder, knowing she won't care about the stain from his tears.

Cal walked over to Sam. The two of them wondered if it was a good idea to stay where they are or leave the two of them alone to comprehend what was going on. They realised there that they were intruding on a moment between the two of them, deciding to walk to a quiet place until they're ready to go home.

Lily and Iain broke apart, both determined to wipe the tears that they both knew had fallen away from their faces. Taking each other's hand, they decided to walk towards the bench where Cal and Sam were silently waiting for them.

They didn't even need to question that they were trying to comfort each other. They knew straight away when Cal was holding Sam's hand.

* * *

 **I hope you like this chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Can I have everyone's attention please?"

Announcements wasn't pleasant, especially concerning two members of staff. But Connie and Jan both knew that if there was ever a moment that the two teams needed to come together; it was now.

"Some of you may know," Connie explained, "Lily had been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Her first chemotherapy session was yesterday. But given the environment we work in, it's been decided that until she gets better, she'll have to take time off as the last thing we want is for her to fall gravely ill."

The staff looked nervous, they were waiting for news regarding Lily and they knew there's a chance she'll need to take time off work. They all feel helpless, as they know Lily, she hates being ill. Alicia and Louise looked at each other, they knew this would be difficult for Lily, but they're both confident that she'll get through this and win. She has so much she wanted to do; she wasn't going to let anything stand in the way.

"But that's not the end of the story," Jan carries on, "Only a few of you are aware, Iain was also having problems with his health as well. Yesterday, he had to miss Lily's first chemotherapy."

Alicia and Louise were shocked to learn this bit, as were the rest of the staff. Iain was determined to go with Lily during the first session, to show that she wasn't alone in the battle. So, what changed?

"Iain has been diagnosed with Leukaemia," Jan announced, startling everyone, "I know that was the last thing everyone would want to hear. I know this doesn't sit down right, but we all need to be supportive for them both. But we know this is a difficult situation for everyone."

"We'll be arranging support meetings for everyone," Charlie announced, "We've spoken to several members from the cancer services and they've agreed to lend us a voice should anyone request it."

Louise didn't pay attention to what Charlie was saying, especially after the news they were all delivered with. She tried to picture herself in Lily's shoes, being told that she has cancer and then being told her boyfriend was also battling the disease? Louise doesn't think she'd cope with that. And Iain, he was determined to help Lily get through this fight, but then he received news that he was ill as well? Louise felt sorry for the two of them, fate decided to test them, in the cruellest way possible.

Alicia noticed Robyn about to sit down, trying not to cry. She doesn't blame her, especially when it reminds her of Glenn. He fought hard against the battle with cancer, tragically losing his life after a long battle, leaving Charlotte without a father. Alicia walked over to Robyn, wrapping an arm around her. She didn't want to say anything, what can you say? Whatever Alicia can say, even with the best interests, it could offend someone.

* * *

The bathroom tiles were without a doubt the most uncomfortable place to sit on in the entire flat. Their brown slabs felt as cold as ice and the acrylic edge of the bathtub was unable to make it's mind up over whether Iain could rest his back on it or not.

But that didn't matter at all to Iain, as he sat by Lily, who was resting her head on the toilet seat.

"Feeling any better?" he asked her.

He closed his eyes when she answered with another heaving cough into the bowl. When they discussed chemotherapy, they became aware that there was a chance this could happen. It felt painful for Iain to sit and watch as his girlfriend was emptying the contents of her stomach, he could only picture what she must be going through now.

"You didn't have to stay," Lily sighed as she managed to push herself away from the toilet, flushing it, "I would have managed."

"I already feel bad missing your appointment," Iain answered back, crawling towards her, "It just scares me, thinking you'd be alone."

"I'll be okay," Lily smiled, placing her hand on top of his.

* * *

Ethan didn't want to leave the flat. He knew he was being selfish, after all, he's not going through a life-threatening illness. Okay, he's got a condition, but the symptoms haven't shown themselves yet. Not like Lily's or Iain's.

He didn't know what to say to either of them. He can't imagine what they're going through. He can't picture anyone going through what they're going through. What if he says the wrong thing? What if he hurts someone? What if they get offended? What if they don't want to see him?

Ethan thought back to his adopted mother's battle with cancer. He felt guilty as when she died, he buried himself in his work, isolating himself from the rest of his family. And then when his birth mother died, all he could think about what his life limiting condition. He knew there was a chance he was going to have an early death from the condition, the thought of it scared him. He didn't want to think about anything else. Once again, he was being selfish, as his birth mother was dying, and all Ethan could do was think about himself.

Ethan isn't religious, but he felt as if he was being punished for thinking only about himself throughout these times. Iain and Lily were probably at home, broken because of an illness that could kill them, and he was too scared to go and visit them, out of fear he would do something to hurt one (or both) of them.

Ethan was brought back to reality when he heard the doorbell. Cal was at work, no one ordered anything, Ethan wasn't expecting company. But this was a distraction for him, to take his mind of the situation. Bracing himself, he walked up to the door, opened it to reveal Sam waiting by the door.

"Hey," Ethan smiled, "Cal's at work. I thought you knew."

"I came to see you," Ethan was alarmed to hear the tone of Sam's voice.

The paramedic was always confident, sure of herself, not afraid to speak her mind. But now, he saw the tone in Sam's voice. She sounded quiet, almost as if she shrunk to the size of a mouse. She sounded broken, like a record jumping after every scratch. She sounded scared, just like he was.

"You've been thinking about Iain and Lily as well," Ethan suspected as Sam nodded, "You better come in. We can talk about it, together."

* * *

Lily kept her eyes on her phone, scrolling through the photographs. It started off as presentations, inspirational messages, before they became photos of Cal, Ethan, Robyn, Louise, Alicia, Sam, Jacob, Gem and Iain. Lily noticed that Iain took up most of the joint selfies she took. She hated herself, she was a bit harsh on him, but deep down, she didn't want Iain to see her, not when the first lot fell out.

Lily sighed when she noticed a strand of hair tickling her nose. Taking the strand behind her ear, she felt more than those few strands. Placing her hand in front of her, she noticed another lock of hair in her hand. How long will it be before it all falls out? The thought of her hair falling out suddenly makes her want to hide away from the world. It's noticeable, it's depressing, it's, it's, it's.

Would Iain think of her differently when he sees this?

"Lily?"

Lily looked panicked at the thought of Iain seeing her. Looking at the fallen hair in her hands, she kept an eye on the bin, placing it there. Iain doesn't need to see this at all.

It was at that moment where Lily noticed Iain's woolly hat. She has never seen him wear the brown headwear before, even during the winter. She placed the hat on her head, making sure that all the fallen tresses of her hair were kept hidden.

She followed Iain's voice, noticing that his voice was coming from the bathroom. Steam was leaving the bathroom, worrying Lily. What was Iain doing in there? She felt nervous, but she followed the steam, noticing that the closer she walked to the bathroom, the stronger the smell of lavender and roses. Wasn't it three hours ago that she spent in the bathroom throwing up? How did Iain get the smell of vomit away from the bathroom? Why was she still following the scent and steam?

When Lily reached the bathroom, she noticed that the bathroom was dim, the only light were the candles, glowing as orange as the sun. The bathtub was filled with lilac water, decorated with bubbles. Lily realised that Iain did this to make her feel better. She didn't want to cry, but this was the sweetest thing anyone has done for her. Could anyone fall in love again with the same person, or has Iain given Lily more reasons to fall in love with him?

"Iain," Lily stuttered, as she walked next to him.

"I found a lock of your hair in the bin from earlier," Iain admitted, "I knew you wouldn't want me to see you when it happens. But I'm sorry, I'm not going to let you go through it alone, I want to help make you feel better."

"Iain," Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing, remembering that they knew what this would happen, "Thank you."

"It's okay," Iain smiled, amazed that his idea cheered her up, "I'm going to leave you to it."

"No," Lily grabbed his hand, confusing him, "Please stay."

Iain realised that Lily was serious, he knew his plan worked, but he didn't realise how well it worked. He felt Lily's hands brushing his cheeks, taking in the heat from the warm bathroom. Carefully, he removed his hat from her hair, neither of them paying attention to the three separate locks of her hair falling to the floor with the hat. He then rested his hands on her small waist, resting his forehead against hers. Lily took one look at Iain's eyes, before closing her own, pressing her lips against his.

* * *

It didn't matter how many times people bumped into her in town. Or about how many times she had to apologise for walking into people, or for them walking into her. It also didn't matter how many insults she had to take until she apologises. It only didn't annoy Gem as much as it would have done before.

Maybe because now, she was starting to grow up. Become mature. Maybe she had calmed down a lot and has let her anger go. What it the fact that she was growing up? Or was it because her brother had been diagnosed with cancer? That he's not only got to have treatment to save his life, but he'll have to support his girlfriend who is also going through the exact same thing.

Gem felt scared when she was told Iain may have cancer, but that feeling was nothing compared to the news that what they feared had happened. Would the feeling go away eventually? She doesn't know. Would they beat it? She doesn't know. If something were to happen, would she be alone? That she does know.

Iain and Lily must win their fight, they must. Gem couldn't picture one without the other.

Gem suddenly noticed that she had stopped by a wig store. She thought back to the lock of hair she found in the bin, deciding not to talk to Lily or Iain about what she saw, out of fear she may hurt someone's feelings. She noticed a few wigs, picturing Lily in each of them. It felt strange, but her eyes were drawn to a bleach blonde wig, plaited to one side. Gem wasn't sure why, but she felt as if it would suit Lily. She wanted to go to ask for the price, her mind was nearly made up.

That was, until she heard someone crying on the benches. Gem turned around, wondering if the woman was okay.

It soon left her wondering about everyone else who had walked past her. What were they all going through to make the decision to blame her for them walking into them? What were their stories? How were they coping? Gem must feel so young as she struggled to deal with the news she was given.

Gem took a deep breath before walking to the space next to the woman.

"You okay?" Gem asked her, placing her hand on top of the woman's.

"I don't know," she whispered, "I've been a horrible mother to my daughter. Now, I don't think I could make amends."

Gem closed her eyes, she thought back to her own mother. Even though she was told she could die if she doesn't get help for her drinking, she refused to seek help. Before her own needs on top of both her and Iain. She wanted a drink more than wanting to spend time with her family. No remorse for her actions.

Gem wasn't surprised that Iain didn't want her to know he was battling cancer.

The difference between her mother and the mother she was sitting next to was that this mother felt guilty for her actions. Compared to what Gem went through, what she did was probably nothing.

"You can still talk to her," Gem reassured her.

"But for how long?" she asked her, "She's got cancer. And I haven't been there for her."

* * *

Lily didn't realise she felt cold until she stepped foot in the hot water that Iain had set out for her. She didn't realise how stressed she was until she smelt the calming effects of the lavender entering her nose. She didn't realise how lonely she felt until she felt Iain's arm wrap around her, stroking her arm.

It was a nice feeling to feel. As if all her fears were washed away from her, carried away by the scent of lavender, into the flames of the brightly lit candles. Only to be replaced with love, hope and confidence. The feeling took her away, almost as if she and Iain weren't living in uncertainty.

She carefully rested her head on Iain's bare chest, closing her eyes. She can feel the warm water wrapping the two of them up in a blanket, protecting them from the cold air. She can feel Iain's lips touching her forehead, making her feel loved and assured. But what she loved the most was that by resting her head on his chest, she can feel his heartbeat. Strong, perfect, relaxed. She could listen to it for the rest of her life if she could.

Lily knew she could push Iain away as hard as she could, but he'll always find a way to pull her back.

* * *

"You okay?"

Connie noticed the moment they dismissed everyone; Jan was struggling to keep her emotions in check. It didn't seem like her at all. She was always confident, feisty, up for a laugh. But Jan always kept her emotions in check.

"Sorry," Jan sighed, walking to her office, "I wanted to be strong. But I can't. Iain's got the same cancer that George had."

"George?" Connie asked.

"My brother," Jan explained, "He was thirty-five when he died."

This was the first time Jan ever explained the story of her brother. Knowing she's in a safe environment to let her emotions out, Jan just let the bottle she kept sealed break.

"He had Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia," Jan begins to dig deep, "He only told us two weeks before he died. Turns out, he was battling it for a few months. Even his wife and his daughter didn't know. She's nineteen now. Studying Biomedical Science, she wanted to find a cure for cancer."

"Make sure what happened to her father doesn't happen to anyone else," Connie sighed, "Hopefully there'll be a miracle cure."

"Will there?" Jan asked, "That's the thing with developments. They won't reveal what will cure cancer, once that happens, the scientists will be out of a job."

Connie realised that Jan is still harbouring a lot of resentment for the disease that killed her brother. She wished there was something she could say. But then again, they don't know what to say to Lily or Iain. It was as if they were glass bottles, ready for something to shatter them.

* * *

Lily was preparing to select an ideal film whilst Iain was busy draining the bathtub of the warm water. Anyone who sees her would ask her why she was so happy? She was diagnosed with cancer, she was supporting her boyfriend as he was diagnosed, her hair falling out and she has been vomiting as well. But deep down, Lily felt as if none of that matters now. After all, this was the best day of her life.

"You've picked something yet?" Lily smiled as Iain knelt beside her.

"Definitely not this one," Lily pushed one DVD away, "What about this one? We haven't seen this one together."

"Wonder why?" Iain mentioned looking at the plot, "It's sounds dull."

"Oh God," Lily giggled, "Ethan warned me about a film. I think this was it."

Iain chuckled the moment Lily winced at it, taking it away. Lily felt a strand of hair tickling her cheek, she pulled it away, but another lock of hair fell out.

Iain didn't look at the hair, he knew deep down this would happen. The only thing he took notice of was Lily's facial expression at the thought of her hair falling. He knew she was scared about her hair. She shouldn't feel scared, or silly, or sad. Iain knew no matter what he does, Lily's heartbreak won't go away.

"You okay?" Iain asked her.

"I look stupid," Lily sighed, "I know I won't be heading back to work; I can deal with that. I can handle the vomiting. But I'm scared," she holds out the tress that fell, "But this is noticeable."

* * *

Sam smiled when Ethan handed her a drink, relieved that she wasn't the only one thinking about Iain and Lily. As Iain's best friend, she's the one everyone expects to be the most supportive of the situation, to be there whenever he needs a friend. It was as if she was given so much responsibility, it scared her. She never had the need to be responsible, she never wanted to be responsible for anything, that's why she messed up her two marriages.

But she remembered that Ethan was Lily's best friend. He has the same expectations that she has been given by everyone. This meant that the two were on common ground, she needed the reassurance from Ethan, only she realised he was uncertain as well. His best friend was diagnosed with Stage Four cancer and even though the odds of beating it was great, it was still a scary process to go through.

"How did you cope?" Sam asked him, taking a sip from the warm coffee, "It couldn't have been easy to hear the news that your best friend had cancer."

"I know," Ethan sighed, "It can't have been easy for you as well."

"I hate myself," Sam admitted, "When everyone looks at me, they think I'm paramedic whose best friend's got cancer. Not one person asked me how I was coping. I know it's selfish, but whenever some mentions Iain, it scares me."

"You're not selfish," Ethan smiled at her, "If anyone is selfish, it's me. When I was told Lily has cancer, I thought about my Huntington's Disease."

"I didn't know you had that," Sam was startled to learn this, "Does Cal?"

"No," Ethan smiled at her, "Just me. I thought that I had an illness through no fault of my own, just like Iain and Lily have. My life is going to be cut short because I have faulty genes. I did nothing when my mother died, and when my birth mother died, all I thought about was my Huntington's Disease. I felt Lily and Iain being diagnosed as a punishment. I haven't seen them since Lily was diagnosed. Nor did I text them."

Sam noticed Ethan's voice was breaking. Taking a deep breath, she wrapped her arms around him, letting him sob into her shoulder. Unable to cope, she found herself crying as well. No words could say how the two of them were feeling. They're just happy they have someone to confide in, as they'll need the support.

After all, how can they support their friends, when they're breaking apart themselves?

* * *

"You don't look stupid at all," Iain reassured Lily, noticing she is still looking at the strand of hair in her hand, "You still look beautiful."

Lily smiled at Iain's words, but someone else's words struck a thought to her. She remembered the girl with the pink hair. Cinda told Lily she felt depressed after her hair was falling. Lily thought back to how confident she was. She was going through cancer, but she didn't have the feeling of fear that Lily was experiencing.

"You're just saying that," Lily sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, "But thank you. You've made what was the worst day the best. I look ridiculous."

It doesn't matter what words he says, as it'll fall on deaf ears. But Iain has a different tactic. He just knows he won't live it down.

"If you feel ridiculous," he walks to the bathroom, before walking back to the sofa, "How much did you lose?"

"What are you doing?" Lily asks him, noticing the electric razor in his hands.

He wouldn't, would he?

"Just tell me," Iain smiled, turning on the razor, "If you feel as if you look ridiculous, then we'll look ridiculous together."

* * *

"Here you go," Gem sat the coffee down in front of the lady, "One cinnamon latte. Personally, I'd go for caramel myself."

"Thank you," she smiled, taking a sip, "I wish more young people were like you."

"I wouldn't say that," Gem sighed, "I spent time inside."

"Everyone makes mistakes," the woman smiled at her reassuring, "We all do. I wish I could have told my daughter that."

"It's not too late," Gem smiled at her, "What did you do that made you think your daughter hates you?"

"I didn't let her be a kid," she confessed, "We wanted her to focus on her studies. We've put so much pressure on her, not letting her see her friends, not even letting her try new things. I wanted to see my little girl have all the things I missed out on, but my husband insisted she put her studies first."

"It's not your fault," Gem reassured her, "You didn't realise what was going to happen. You only want what was best for your daughter."

"You sound wise for a young age," she smiled.

"My mum made me grow up fast," Gem explained, "She put alcohol above my brother and me. We don't contact her now, in fact, we haven't even told her my brother's ill."

"Ill?" she asked shocked.

"He's been diagnosed with cancer as well," Gem begun to break down, feeling guilty that she forgot about Iain and Lily, "So has his girlfriend. She went for her first chemotherapy session yesterday."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the mother replied, "That can't be easy. How are you feeling?"

"How I'm feelings not important right now," Gem swept a tear away from her eye.

"Actually," the mother explains, "Is it. How are you going to be able to support your brother and his girlfriend, when you're falling apart yourself?"

Gem didn't realise that part. She was focused on putting up a united front for Iain and Lily, she didn't stop to think about herself. When her mother was forcing vodka shots, beer bottles, gin down her throat, all Gem could think about was where was she going to get her next meal from? Was she really growing up? Becoming mature? Selfless?

Gem took at look at the mother. Her raven hair was tied up in a bun, her clothes looked neat, red and pristine. Her eyes as well, they were also full of wisdom.

"I didn't stop to think about that," Gem froze, staring at her cup.

"You won't," the mother smiled, "You grew up too fast. Just like my daughter."

"Could you tell me a bit about your daughter?" Gem looked up, to her eyes, "What does she do for a living?"

"She's a doctor," she smiled.

* * *

Lily stood there in silence as she watched the hair fall onto the floor, before looking at Iain with line showing his skin in his hair. She couldn't believe what lengths Iain Dean would do to make her feel more comfortable with her hair loss. It was clear he would do this, even if he didn't have cancer. It was as if he didn't want her to go through the journey alone.

"Are you serious?" Lily looked at Iain, shocked at what lengths he was willing to take to make her feel better, "You know hair loss is a possibility."

"I know this is a stupid move," Iain admits, looking at his reflection in the mirror, noticing the line he made, "But I would do anything to make you feel comfortable, cancer or no cancer. If it means looking like a mess, then I'll do it, just so you'd feel better about yourself."

"I've known you to do some crazy things," Lily tried hard, not to smile, but Iain knew she was failing, "But it was also brave as well. As if you had nothing to be scared of."

Lily suddenly froze once she said that. The depression she felt when her hair was falling, tress by tress. She remembered what Cinda said yesterday, how it was a relief when it all fell out.

Lily remembered becoming depressed whenever a lock of hair falls out. What would happen once all the locks fall out? Her hair would grow back eventually, so she knew she wouldn't be depressed at all when it all goes.

Iain's gesture, it gave her an idea.

"Linzi the hairdresser," Lily whispered, "How many doors does she live down from us again?"

"Four," Iain answered, "Why would Linzi the hairdresser be a topic of discussion?"

"She's isn't," Lily answered, "But she's got the equipment. Iain, you gave me an idea."

It soon dawned on Iain what Lily had in mind.

He's not letting her do this alone.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed this.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

" _Good afternoon, Holby Radio! This is Will Sutton, coming to you live! We've got the mystery year coming up, so get your phones ready. But first, here's 'Love Me Like You Do' by Ellie Goulding!"_

Iain laid out the towel into the sitting room, ensuring it was neat and pristine, ready for when Lily gets back from the neighbours. He looked at the mirror, noticing the bald patch on his head. Seeing Lily's reaction was priceless, he'll admit. But it seemed to have restored her confidence. Especially when she left the house without his woolly hat.

It took him a moment to reflect on today, the whole month has been scary to say the least, sad as well. Iain begun to feel as if fate has decided to pull a cruel test on him and Lily, but what they thought would drive the two of them apart, only brought the two of them closer together. Iain didn't know what to expect of the future.

All he knows is that he wants Lily to be part of that future.

Iain's thoughts were interrupted when he heard the front door open. The moment Lily walked in with Linzi's equipment, he begun to feel nervous for her, unable to believe what she was intending on doing. She was about to shave her hair off, completely unprepared. It was as if Lily didn't want to be scared of having cancer anymore.

"You sure you want to do this?" Iain asked her as they lower themselves onto the towel.

"I don't want to depress myself," Lily declared, taking the scissors out, "I've got to do this."

* * *

Connie drove Jan to the cemetery, knowing that Jan hasn't removed the skeleton of her brother from her wardrobe. When she heard the story of George, Connie could only imagine how Jan must be feeling with Iain and Lily's own battle with cancer. Until Jan can forgive her brother, she won't be able to feel as if she could help Iain or Lily.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Jan confessed, "I want to help Iain and Lily, but how is coming here going to help?"

"You're still angry with George," Connie shared her suspicion, "What happened to Iain and Lily has hit you hard. But we need to be there for them, but first, you have to forgive George."

Jan realised that there was a hidden truth in Connie's words. Jan kept George's memory buried away, only to let them out on important days. She hasn't even sat down with Melody to have a drink with her or talk to her about the troubles in her life. The young girl had enough to deal with growing up, and she was a painful reminder of her father. Seeing Melody face to face, it would have been hard for Jan.

Jan was about to open the door to the car and walk towards the gate, when she saw something meet the corner of her eye. She took a close look at the young brunette girl with blonde streaks in her hair. Her black framed glasses shaped her eyes and her jacket was a black as coal.

Jan couldn't face her; she'd probably hate her for not visiting her. Looking away from the cemetery, she walked back to the passenger side of the car.

"What's wrong?" Connie asked her, startled that Jan was back so quick.

"Melody," Jan whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes, "She was there."

* * *

The song the radio was playing proved to be a massive distraction for the two of them. Sitting on the towel, Lily kept her eyes on the scissors. She knows deep down that this will prove how ready she is to face cancer, but the nerves were slowly kicking in for her. Once she does this, there's no going back, not until she gets the all clear.

If that ever does happen.

"Got anything to say?" Iain whispered, taking her hand, "If you say it now and hold your peace, it may make you feel better about what you're going to do."

"I don't know," Lily mentioned, "This was supposed to be easy. You loved playing with my hair, I loved it when you do as well. How are you being so calm about it?"

"I don't love your hair," Iain smiled, "I love you. If I can't play with it, then I could always do this," he leaned towards her, placing his lips at the top of her head, "or this," he wrapped his arm around her, drawing shapes on her shoulder with his finger, "Anything to tell you that I'm here."

"I swear you're going to make every man look bad in comparison," Lily smiled at him before looking at the scissors.

Iain soon realised why Lily was nervous about her hair. It wasn't because she'd look silly, or because she'd look different, or because her hair was an important part of her. Losing her hair was a painful reminder that she has cancer. For every bit she lost, she felt as if cancer was laughing at her, pleased that it was making her feel miserable. It made him think about what happened yesterday when he was told that he had cancer himself.

Suddenly it dawned on him to learn why Lily hadn't face the reality of having it until now, she did to him what he's done to her. She put all her focus on making sure he was okay, comforted, assured. Maybe that was why she was determined Iain had someone with him to his appointment, so if he received the worst-case scenario, there was someone with him to help him get through it.

Never mind him making every man look bad, Lily Chao made every woman look bad in comparison.

"I have an idea," Iain suggested, grabbing a note pad and a pen, giving it to Lily, "Here."

"What?" Lily asked him confused.

"Every time you feel as if cancer has got you down, look at the letter you wrote," Iain smiled at her, "It will remind you to keep on smiling. Even during the darkest of days."

"You really thought of everything," Lily smiled back, beginning to write a paragraph.

Lily had to admit; it was a helpful idea. Everything she put to paper felt better than saying out loud. In fact, everything felt better without saying the words. The man in front of her proved that today of all days. Once she finished her part, she held the letter out to Iain.

"You're not going to sign it?" he asked her.

"Not until you write what you have to say," Lily declared, "I'm not the only one in the room who has cancer."

Iain smiled at her. He looked at the mirror on top of the radiator. He realised that he was so focused on helping Lily, he hadn't thought about his own battle. Not one bit. Cheering Lily up took his mind off his own battle, just like thinking about him took her mind of her battle. This truly was a test for them both, unfortunately for fate, it only brought them closer.

Taking the pen and paper, he begun to write down how much cancer has impacted on the two of them.

* * *

Gem kept her eye on the wig. She kept picturing Lily with it on. Would she be offended with Gem for buying it for her? Would Iain be annoyed with her for thinking about it?

"You okay?" Gem turned to face the mother who decided to accompany her for her shopping trip, "You're thinking about it. Aren't you?"

"Would she be offended?" Gem asked her, "She's already starting to lose her hair."

"I'm not sure, but it's a nice thought," the mother explained.

Gem smiled at her, grateful for her help. Maybe there may be hope between her and her daughter. If her daughter could see the way her mother treated Gem, then there may be a way that they can salvage their relationship. It was there that Gem realised that she wanted this woman in her life. Gem never had a positive mother figure in her life like this woman. Iain wouldn't understand the girly things Gem was experiencing and Lily was more of a sister figure than a mother figure.

"I'll check the price," Gem smiled at her, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Making me feel better," Gem smiled at her, "I wish my mother was a lot like you."

* * *

Lily kept her eyes on the scissors on top of the towel, before making the decision to pick them up off the floor. She has no excuse this time, she must do this.

"Lily," she looked up to face Iain, her eyes widen when she saw one of the razors in his hand, "Is there anything I can do to make this easier?"

He didn't want to tell her she didn't have to do this; he knew she wouldn't listen to him at all. After looking up from the mirror, he remembered the bald patch from when he was trying to cheer her up, to make her feel better about her own hair loss. Deep down, Iain knew that if he was losing his hair because of chemo, he'd quicken the hair loss by shaving it off.

"Here," he held out the razor in front of her, leaning his head forward.

Lily was startled to realise what Iain was suggesting she'd do to him. He wanted her to shave his hair off. Lily looked at the bald patch on his head from when he was trying to make her feel that she didn't look ridiculous. It was a sweet gesture, stupid but sweet. It soon dawned on Lily that Iain was preparing to follow her throughout every step of the battle, ready to fight with her.

She remembered him saying those words, even before he learned he could have cancer.

"You sure?" Lily asked him, "You want me to do this?"

"No one goes alone," Iain answers her, "We made that promise, even through the difficult of times. If doing this to me makes it easier for you, then I'll do anything to help."

"Okay," Lily smiled at him, "It doesn't seem fair for me to do that to you," Lily suddenly realised what Iain is doing, "Okay. I'll do this under one condition."

"Okay," Iain hands her the razor, only to notice Lily was going to hand him the scissors.

It soon dawned on him that Lily wanted him to do to her, what she'll be doing to him.

"If I have to do it to you," Lily smiled at him, passing him the scissors, "You'll have to do it to me. Like you said, no one goes alone."

* * *

The stars decorated the black sky, only to be covered with dark grey clouds. Cal knew it could rain at any time, but he was still reluctant to go inside. He knows the stars are just balls of gas, but centuries ago, there were a hidden meaning to it.

Cal was always told by his mother that for every star he sees, it's a soul up in heaven, wanting to pass on a message to the land of living. It could be someone telling their loved one goodbye, or someone passing on words of wisdom, or someone telling their loved one everything will be okay.

He only just wished there was something he could do to make things easier. Not just for Lily and Iain, but for his little brother and the love of his life.

This was something Cal never said to anyone, but he has truly fallen head over heels for Sam Nicholls. He felt guilty, this has happened during one of the worst moments of his life, her life, everyone's lives, but he wouldn't care about that. He wanted to do anything to help her feel okay, make her feel like she's important. People aren't going to do that for her now, not when her best mate is battling cancer. She wasn't going to have people ask her if she was okay, just people asking her if she's spoken to Iain lately.

"You okay?"

Cal turned around to face Charlie walking up to him, taking the seat next to him. Cal felt grateful for Charlie's presence, his own relationship with his father was strained, but Charlie became a father figure to him, just like he had done with Ethan, Lily, Robyn and everyone else in the ED.

"Charlie," Cal whispered, "Am I being selfish?"

"What makes you say that?" Charlie asked him, concerned.

"Iain and Lily are going through the toughest moments of their lives," Cal sighed, "And here I am, thinking about my own relationship with Sam."

"I wouldn't say so," Charlie stated, "Cal, what happened to Lily and Iain was a cruel twist of faith. But it shouldn't stop you from living your life. The trouble with life is, no matter how painful things can get, it shouldn't interfere with all the positive things in your life."

"You should have seen them yesterday," Cal explained, "The moment Iain was told he has cancer, all he could think about was Lily. When they saw each other, no words were said, they just held each other tight, letting the other cry."

"Sometimes actions speak louder than words," Charlie explained.

Cal looked up to the sky, he never thought about that. He saw how determined Iain was to see Lily, he didn't even think about what he could have said to her. He remembered what else happened yesterday, when Sam learned the news that Iain has cancer as well, she didn't say anything to Iain as well. What could she have said that would make things easier for them? Nothing.

Cal suddenly remembered that Sam never said anything to him about how she was feeling. All she did was take his hand, all the words that she needed to say to him, they were all spoken in that one gesture.

"Why did Lily ask me to go with Iain and not Sam?" Cal asked him, "It doesn't make sense."

"Because throughout the experience," Charlie explained, "You haven't thought about your own feelings. You didn't show fear at all. Just understanding."

* * *

The song was halfway through playing in the background, combined with the laughter that the two of them were sharing. The towel was now decorated, covered with several locks of hair, ranging from short to long. Iain and Lily each lost count how many times they had to lift their hands off the towel because their hair kept tickling their skin.

Lily took one good look at Iain, still trying to take in the image of his facial expressions, taking in the sight of his hair. Half his hair was still on his head, the other half was scattered all over the towel. It was a sight she'd never thought she'd see. It was a strange feeling. She never would have imagined Iain going bald, not until today.

Iain kept his gaze at Lily, still amazed that she was being brave about her battle. It was as if the courage was infectious. Maybe doing this for her felt easier than watching her do it to herself. He took in her features; her hair was now ranging in length from short to long, some of her head had bald patches on, just like his did. Agreeing to take it in turns made the atmosphere feel more comfortable for the two, in fact, it truly did make them feel as if they were in the battle together.

Lily was ready for Iain to cut off another lock of her hair, but instead, she was taken aback when Iain set the scissors down. He wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning forward towards her. Lily smiled at the gesture, taking his free hand in her own, using her other hand to stroke his cheek. She leaned closer to him, allowing herself to feel his breathing on her cheek. Iain rested his forehead against Lily's, before closing his eyes and pressing his lips against hers. It only took a few seconds before Lily started to response to the kiss, taking her hand away from his hand and over his shoulder, pulling him closer to her, pushing his lips with her tongue, determined to pry them open so she can explore his mouth.

They broke apart, keeping their gaze on each other, before Iain grabs a lock of Lily's hair and cutting it off, letting it fall on the floor. Lily smiled at him when he took the electric razor and brushed the hair away, handing the razor to her afterwards.

* * *

Alicia forgot that Louise was religious. She never would have pictured her being so as well. So, when Louise asks her to come to the chapel with her, Alicia wanted to go with her, keep her company. After all, no one should be alone. Not with the news everyone had been hit by.

It soon dawned on Alicia how short life would be for everyone. What happened to Iain and Lily was a wake-up call for everyone. She thought back to her grandfather, he fought cancer two years ago and he won his fight, despite the odds being stacked against him. He was told he'd have a ten per cent chance of beating cancer, but that ten per cent worked in his favour.

She researched both Hodgkin's Lymphoma and Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia. Both survival odds were good despite how serious they were. Both cancers also affected the immune system, so Alicia understood Connie and Jan's decisions to keep Iain and Lily out of work until they were fit enough to come back.

There was no 'if'. That was something Alicia noticed; it was only 'when'. Everyone was confident that Iain and Lily would both beat this, they couldn't picture one without the other. It was either they both beat this, or neither of them beat this.

Alicia didn't want to think about them losing the battle. If one of them loses, the other would potentially fall into a state of depression. If they both lose the battle, it was clear the everyone would begin to give up hope for a cure, lose faith and begin to see cancer as a death sentence. But if they both beat it, then things would go back to normal. But Alicia realised one thing with her grandfather once he beat cancer, he decided to make the most of life.

It dawned on Alicia that life is a gift. It's precious, it's valuable, it's amazing.

"You okay?" Louise asked her, "You seemed distracted."

"Sorry," Alicia sighed, "Why am I feeling like life is short? Iain and Lily, they'll beat this."

"It proves life isn't fair," Louise sighed, "I can't imagine what those two are going through. I wouldn't be able to cope in their shoes."

"I think if it's with the right person it can be done," Alicia mentioned, "I wonder how Iain and Lily are doing now."

"I want to see them," Louise sighed, "I wish there was something I could do to help."

"We're both off tomorrow," Alicia looked at her, "Why don't we pay them a visit? They could do with a welcome distraction."

* * *

Iain and Lily couldn't believe what they've done, despite their reflection saying otherwise. What was once at the top of their heads, was now completely scattered all over the towel. Neither of them wanted to say anything, the only words they wanted to say about the experience was shown the moment they reached for each other's hands.

Iain wrapped his arms around Lily's waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. She leaned her head slightly, so it rested on his. It felt completely different to how it did before, but it felt nice. Lily took in this moment, unable to comprehend how this could have happened but deep down, she glad it did happen. She didn't feel depress that she lost her hair, nor did she feel depressed that she was going to be going through painful procedures to make her feel better, nor did she feel depressed that she and Iain were both battling cancer.

Instead, she felt happy. She didn't feel as alone as she felt at the start of the day.

Iain hadn't stopped smiling at all since the first moment Lily brushed his head with the razor. For the first time since being told the news, he felt free and wild. It was as if cancer has given him and Lily more reasons to live. Iain kept his eyes on mirror Lily, she looked beautiful and it had nothing to do with how she looks. It was because she had a burning spark in her eye that had made her feel as if she had a burning edge of life. Iain didn't fall in love with Lily because of her looks, he fell in love with her because of the inner flame she had. She was no longer an ice queen, instead she was the goddess of fire.

Iain realised there was only one way to end today.

He broke away from Lily, to her confusion and ran to the bedroom they shared. Lily was about to follow him, but Iain just wanted her to stay there.

"Don't follow me," Iain instructed her, "Just stay there and close your eyes. I don't want to ruin the surprise."

Lily was still slightly confused but listened to his words, keeping her beautiful hazel eyes sealed. He opened the top drawer in the small chest of drawers, pulling out the red velvet box out.

"Can I open them yet?" he heard Lily asked, hiding her giggles.

"No until I say so," he answered, opening the box, happy the ring is in perfect condition.

Iain walked back over to the towel where Lily was still standing, he waved his hand over, making sure her eyes were kept shut. This was the most nervous he felt today but he knew he needed to do this.

"Don't open them yet," he instructed to her, kissing her cheek, "Just listen."

Iain watched as Lily nodded her head, keeping her eyes tightly shut.

"It's been nearly two years since I realised there's been something between us, even though I know before we used to wind each other up," Iain whispered, keeping his gaze firmly on her, "But as the times past, I've realised that you were the most amazing person that I have ever met. I know there have been moments we both want to forget but we had some incredible memories that we can carry with us," Iain took another deep breath, "You mean more to me, than anything else. I don't think I would have coped through these past few weeks without you. To be honest, there's no one else I'd want to share this journey with. I know it's going to be scary but I'm glad I have you and I don't ever want to lose you."

Lily was about to say something, but Iain placed a finger on her lips, wanting her to carry on listening. After she silently agreed, Iain lowered himself onto the floor, opening the box.

"Okay Lily," Iain whispered, trying not to cry, "You can open your eyes now."

Lily opened her eyes, noticing that Iain had kneeled on the towel of the decorated hair, but she suddenly noticed what Iain was holding in his hand.

Suddenly, she was wrong.

Iain made the day even better.

"Yes!" Lily shouted, trying hard not to cry.

"Please let me ask first," Iain laughed with her, trying to fight what was for the first time, tears of joy.

"Sorry," Lily apologised, lowering herself to meet him eye level.

"Lily Chao," Iain closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course I will," Lily pulled him into her arms, not wanting to let go of the man of her dreams.

Iain broke away from her, wiping the tear drop from her eye. He took her hand and slid the ring onto her finger, before pulling her in for a long passionate kiss.

Neither one listened to the end of the song, nor did they pay any attention to Will Sutton announcing the first round of the mystery year competition.

* * *

"I'm sorry," Ethan couldn't believe what he was hearing, "He did what?"

"I know it's unbelievable," Sam laughed, "But Iain was a man of many talents, unfortunately, baking was not one of those talents. He left the kitchen with the intent of coming back in ten minutes, instead he came back an hour later."

"Take it the cake wasn't edible?"

"Nope," Sam commented, "Only Iain ate it."

"At least he didn't try to hide it like Lily did," Ethan explained to Sam, "She made the same mistake. I offered to help but she insisted she could do it herself. She coated the entire thing with icing, unfortunately when everyone saw the black cake inside, it was no surprise where it ended up."

Sam and Ethan took the time to remember the good times that they shared with Iain and Lily. They knew it wasn't necessary, but they both knew they needed to find something to help them both laugh; so that Iain and Lily will have them show a united front, ready to be in the best state of mind to support the two of them.

"Hey," Ethan remembered what Sam had planned, "Weren't you planning on doing a fun run?"

"I think I'm going to give it a miss," Sam sighed, "I got other things to worry about other than training."

"Don't be ridiculous," Ethan gently scolded her, "This could be a distraction for Iain and Lily. A welcome one at that. I don't mind sponsoring you, in fact I'll might do the run myself."

"I could hardly picture you doing that," Sam noted, before realising that maybe there was a reason, she became interested in the first place, "We could use it to raise money to help people in Iain and Lily's situation."

"Maybe we could support them in more ways than one," Ethan explained, "I don't mind helping you train for it."

"Okay Dr Hardy," Sam beamed, "You got yourself a deal."

"I can't believe I'm going to be doing this," Ethan laughed, "You'll have to help me train for it please."

"I will," Sam smiled at him, "For Lily and Iain."

* * *

"What are you doing?"

After carefully removing all the hair of the towel, Iain took the towel to the laundry basket, still taking in Lily. She looked more content with herself now, more comfortable as well. She looked just as beautiful and breath-taking as she did before. He noticed she was on her phone, appearing to be focused on something.

"Changing my lock code," Lily answered to him, to his confusion, "Ethan and Sam now know my current one. I'm not taking any chances."

"I still can't believe they worked it out," Iain chuckled, "What are you changing to?"

"I'm not telling you," Lily laughed, "My shopping list is on there. It has your Christmas present on there."

Iain laughed at Lily, she always the organised of the two. It suddenly dawned on him exactly what she was changing it to. He took his own phone from beside him and took one look at her, before changing his lock code to the same one.

"Besides," Lily muttered with a smile on her face, "You already know."

Iain and Lily stared into each other's eyes, taking in everything that has happened today. Lily scooted closer to him on the sofa, leaning her forehead on his. Iain rested his hands on her face, placing his lips on the top of her head. Lily rested her hands on his shoulders. Iain's lips on the top of her head, the feeling felt more intimate than it ever had been before.

Nothing could ruin this moment. Not even the front door opening.

"Oh my God," Lily and Iain broke away, startled to see Gem in front of them, "Iain. Lily. I."

"I know this is a shock Gem," Iain stood up, "But we all knew this would happen."

"Lily didn't," Iain and Lily were confused when Gem stated that, "I'm talking about the ring on Lily's finger."

Iain and Lily felt relieved when Gem stated that. It dawned on them that she knew that hair loss was a possibility.

"Congratulations," she beamed, walking over to them, pulling them in for a hug.

"How was shopping?" Lily asked her.

"It went well," Gem smiled, "I met someone who really put things into perspective for me."

"Sounds good," Iain smiled at her, pleased that she isn't upset as she was earlier, "So what did you get?"

"A present," Gem answered, feeling nervous about it, "I'm a bit nervous you could get offended by it, Lily."

Lily realised that Gem saw a lock of her hair earlier. She felt guilty for scaring her, but it didn't seem to faze Gem at all. After all, she's been through the worst of it already.

Gem took the box out of the bag and handed it over to Lily. Iain and Gem then looked at each other as Lily walked over to the bathroom, coming out a few seconds later. Only this time, she was sporting bleach blonde hair, plaited to one side.

"How do I look?" Lily asked as Iain walked over to her.

"Beautiful," he smiled, brushing her warm cheek, "Not because of your hair, but because you're still smiling."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed reading as I did writing it.**

 **I also want to thank TheBeautifulNerd for her support and suggestion on the proposal scene. You've been a massive star to me.**

 **Please Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Anyone who came across Lily a few weeks ago would hardly believe she would be truly happy. Since she not only hadn't achieved her goal, or had been advised to stay off work, or because her health wasn't as up to scratch as she thought it was before. But those people clearly didn't have the strength that she had to put on a positive face, nor could they have so much support, nor could had have a handsome paramedic who will do anything to keep her in the right frame of mind.

All Lily could do during the early morning was stare at the ceiling being decorated with the moonlight. She couldn't sleep at all, after everything that has happened, Lily didn't want midnight to pass at all. It meant that the happiest day would have come to an end, and she and Iain will have to once again face the reality of being a couple with cancer.

Lily turned her head towards the mirror, to remember the third most cherished moment of the day. It may take a while for Lily to get used to the new look, but it shows one thing. That cancer has got a fight, but they chose the wrong couple to fight with.

Turning to the other side, she watches as Iain was sleeping, facing her. It soon dawned on her that she was the first of the two to have drifted off to sleep, after taking her wig off (which she loved for a strange reason) and cuddling up to Iain. Lily begun to ask herself why Iain had done what he did for her. He kept her company throughout her appointments, despite going through the same fears, he turned a bad day into a good day, and he would have done anything just to make sure she was never alone.

Lily begun to place her hand behind Iain's ear, she'll admit it felt strange after all the times she stroked his hair whilst he slept, but this time, it felt just as nice now as it did before. She was touching his skin once again, taking him in all the time. Iain was right about one thing, the journey the two of them are taking was scary, but the fear only brought them closer together.

Lily was about to pull her hand away to try and get back to sleep, that was until she noticed him opening one of his eyes. It soon dawned on her that he couldn't sleep either, not after the day they had.

"You knew I was awake?" Lily asked him, "And you did nothing?"

"Just wanted to see what you'd do," he chuckled, "And you didn't disappoint."

Iain was worried he offended Lily when she turned her back to him. He didn't want to upset her, not after the day they had together.

"Lily," Iain tried to apologise when she quickly turned and whacked him with a pillow.

Lily was about to smile, until she noticed Iain sitting up on the bed. She was scared she could have hurt him, until she noticed him shielding his mouth with his hand, coughing the air out of him.

"Iain," Lily quickly sat herself up, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

"No, you didn't hurt me," Iain placed a hand on top of hers, "It's the dust again. How were the bugs anyway?"

Of all the questions Iain had to ask, it had to cause the bugs to creep back up into Lily's skin again. Carefully she rubbed her arms together to smooth the bugs away, remembering that it'll be a while before they completely go away. A part of her wanted to thank them, they could potentially save her…

It was at that moment the bliss of the engagement ended for Lily, she's remembered that even though things were looking up, she was still battling cancer, at the stage where either the treatment should work, or she'll be.

No! Lily didn't want to think about that, she was slowly about to break down in tears. Iain must had read her mind as he scooped her in his arms, carefully stroking her back. It was then, Iain ended up resting his hand on her head, before pulling away when her touched her skin, not wanting to upset her even further.

"It's okay," Lily pulled away.

"You sure?" he asked, "I don't to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You're not," Lily smiled at him, drawing shapes with her fingers on the back of his head, "It feels nice."

Iain chuckled slightly, "It does as well."

* * *

"Thank you," Cal answered after receiving the two coffees for himself and his brother, walking over to the table, "I can't picture you doing this run Ethan. I'm sorry, I don't know why you even agreed to do it. You should have just sponsored Sam."

Ethan frowned at his brother. Cal wasn't the first person to have said something like that, and he can guarantee, Cal won't be the last. But Ethan felt as if he needed to do this, cancer has affected him in more ways than one. He lost his mother to cancer, and now two of his closest friends were also going through the most difficult journey possible. Never mind feeling helpless, Ethan just wanted to know there was a way to help support those affected by cancer. He doesn't think there is a single soul who hasn't been affected by cancer in the slightest way.

"I couldn't," Ethan admitted, "Remember Cal, we lost our mother to cancer."

"It doesn't mean Iain and Lily will go through the same path," Cal reminded him, "We can't put our lives on hold, just because our friends are ill."

"I'm not putting my life on hold," Ethan scolded him, "Look, life's too short to be focusing on the small things. We're out here, making each day special and changing people's lives for the better. Look at how Iain and Lily managed to unite everyone. They didn't even have to do anything."

"What happened to them was a cruel twist of faith," Cal exclaimed before realising, "This isn't about them, is it?"

Cal knew how difficult it must have been for Ethan to see Lily in the condition she was in, to be fair when he last saw Lily, she was almost as fragile as a glass bottle. But Lily's illness became sudden, just like Iain's was as well. The illnesses those two were suffering, they were sudden and unexpected…just like Ethan's Huntington Disease. Only Ethan hasn't experienced any symptoms yet.

"I'm being selfish," Ethan sighed, "Aren't I?"

"Ethan, it's okay," Cal placed his hand on his shoulder, "Sometimes people go through things, scary things. It's a terrifying thought but it does put things to perspective."

"I know we all want to think they'll survive but what if they don't?" Ethan looked at him, "What if cancer does to them what it did to mum? I haven't seen them once since Lily was diagnosed."

"Then why don't you?" Cal asks him, "Going to see them, it may put your mind at rest and help you feel better."

Ethan was torn. If he went, he'll be facing questions from Iain and Lily over where he's been for the past few weeks. He shouldn't have stayed away for so long, not now. Who knows what happened to those two yesterday after Lily's first chemotherapy session? A part of him wanted to go and see them, but what could he say to them?

That was until he remembered what happened when he learned that Lily could have cancer.

" _You were never normal."_

Ethan remembered how happy Lily felt after that one comment. It was as if he saw her and not the cancer.

"Okay," Ethan smiled at him, "I will after work. I'll might see if Sam will be up for it."

"Sounds good," Cal beamed, "I'll tag along as well."

* * *

Alicia and Louise both waited by Lily and Iain's door, waiting for someone to answer the door. Alicia brought a tin of cakes with vanilla and chocolate icing, knowing Lily and Iain will enjoy them whilst Louise was holding a bouquet of yellow tulips. When they told Charlie what they were planning on doing, Charlie told them to be careful with them, especially since Lily had her first round of chemotherapy. But they wanted to see them, make sure that the two of them are okay. They just wanted that reassurance that they'll be fine.

That they can beat this.

But Louise and Alicia both waited when they noticed a light coming on from the messed-up window. The windows were scattered from being risen and lowered, so they were able to see what was on the other side. But they can see someone walking from the front window to the door.

They knew Gem was at work, the poor girl will now have to take on the huge responsibility of ensuring that the bills are paid, their appointments have been attended and that Lily and Iain are taken care of.

The door opened, but Alicia and Louise were both shocked to see her. She was wearing Iain's Batman Pyjamas (The logo and the size was a giveaway), but they were shocked to see her in a grey, woolly hat.

Not a single hair in sight.

Lily's hair had fallen out because of the drugs that Lily was on to try and save her life.

"Lily," Alicia whispered, shocked to see her, before remembering she was here to cheer her up, "How are you?"

Lily was taken aback to see Alicia and Louise by the doorstep, slightly nervous, especially after noticing them staring at her hat. Deep down, Lily knew that this was expected, but she didn't realise how hurt she felt by something that she knew would happen. It was as if all her worst fears came true.

"I'm okay," she stuttered, nervously.

"You don't sound like it," Alicia sighed, "It's understandable, the past month hasn't been easy."

Lily tried not to say anything. Alicia and Louise failed to realise what they did a few seconds ago.

Lily could deal with the cancer, she knows it's not her fault that she has it. She could manage the vomiting spells and the knowledge that she lost her hair because of the drugs that she's on. But she can't handle the staring, or the sympathy, or the assumption that she's upset because she was ill. It made her feel completely different to the person that she once was.

"Why don't we make both you and Iain a cuppa?" Louise suggested, "You two could do with one."

"That's fine thanks," Lily smiled, letting the two in, "I'll go and put the kettle on."

"No, it's fine," Alicia suggested, "You go and sit down with Iain, we'll make it."

Lily froze when Alicia did that. Did she suddenly become incapable of making her guests drinks? Did she become someone completely different within the month? Was this how people were going to look at her?

The bugs began to crawl back into Lily's skin again, making Lily feel uncomfortable. But she didn't want to say anything to the two of them, after all it was a nice gesture. But they already assumed she was upset because of her cancer; she wasn't sure if the two of them could look past that.

* * *

Happy to know that her plan to do the fun run was going ahead, Sam began to lift the dumbbells again, determined to get some strength into her muscles before her first training session with Ethan the next day. Her blood kept pumping around her body, heating up after each lift. This is the first time she felt truly motivated in a while, determined to do all she can to help those affected by cancer.

Sam didn't want to admit it, but she suddenly became fond of Ethan ever since last night. The two of them bonded over everything and anything, it was almost as if Ethan was her brother. She felt guilty over bonding with him, especially considering the circumstances that they have started to talk to each other. If it weren't for the fact that Iain and Lily were their best friends, they wouldn't have found mutual ground with each other.

"Sam!" she suddenly stopped and set her dumbbell down when she heard Jan calling her, "Can I have a word please?"

Sam picked herself up off the bench, brushing the dust away from her clothes. She suddenly froze, remembering that Iain often said that during a coughing fit, it felt as if dust climbed into his airways. Thinking about Iain made her feel guilty, since she hasn't even said a single word to Iain since she learned about his cancer.

Nothing.

Sam composed herself, Jan wanted to speak to her about something. But what was there to talk about? Her best friend is sitting at home, feeling miserable as he's not only ill, but he's looking after his ill girlfriend. And here she was, being called into her boss's office for some reason, she doesn't know.

"Yes?" Sam entered the room, before seeing that Jan wasn't alone.

"As you're aware," Jan mentioned, "Iain won't be able to come back to work for a little bit."

"I'm aware," Sam whispered, "It'll feel strange. I was thinking of seeing him at some point, just to see how he and Lily are doing."

"I had a feeling you would," Jan smiled at her, before turning to the young lady standing next to her, "Anyway, this leaves us a paramedic short. So, we've decided to call upon someone from the bank post."

It soon dawned on Sam who the young lady is, she's the new paramedic to take on Iain's role whilst he's having treatment. It felt as if Sam had frozen water thrown all over her when she realised that Iain has quickly been replaced. Sam looked at her blonde hair, reaching to her shoulders and those horrible butterfly hair clips which should have gone extinct.

"Ruby," Jan looked at the new girl, "This is Sam, she will be showing you the ropes, starting Monday."

"Hi Sam," Ruby smiled at her, "I'm looking forward to this opportunity."

* * *

Neither of them wanted to admit this, but Iain and Lily don't feel comfortable at all now. Not even in their own home. When Iain offered to find a vase for the tulips, Louise told him to sit back down and she'll find it. When Lily decided to collect the cups, Alicia was halfway there. And when Iain decided to go and turn the telly down, Alicia already turned it off.

Iain didn't feel like himself at all. He felt worthless, as if he couldn't look after himself at all. It was as if he couldn't live without the support that he didn't really need. The paramedic hasn't even had his first chemotherapy session and already he's feeling as if he's just, he's just, another person who came into the ED with cancer.

Alicia and Louise didn't once notice the ring on Lily's finger.

All they did was notice the hats on their heads, protecting the two of them from the cold air, hitting their heads. Iain froze when they saw him with the hat on, both trying hard not to say a comment, out of fear they could easily offend the two.

But it was just then Iain and Lily learned that the worst thing to say…

…was nothing at all.

"Anyone want another drink?" Lily offered, "I don't mind getting it."

"No," Louise commented, "You could do with a break. I'll make us all refills."

"Thanks," Iain sighed, placing his hand over Lily's, knowing she was thinking the exact same thing.

How many more will think the two of them are incapable of looking after themselves?

* * *

Ruby watched as Sam began lifting dumbbells, trying to get her head around things. She took in her surroundings, from the basketball hoop to the number of ambulances lined up to the paramedics walking around the station. Ruby even saw a few posters up, noticing that over half of them include support lines for the MacMillan cancer service, fundraisers for cancer charities, even one announcing a cake and coffee morning…all to raise awareness for cancer.

Ruby carefully took a leaflet out on the cake and coffee morning, wondering why the ambulance team have so much on cancer now.

"What are you looking at?" Sam asked, walking over to read it, "Cake and coffee morning? I forgot that one was being hosted at the community centre."

"I'll might bring something to it," Ruby suggested, "My cousin Luke, he's been battling Leukaemia. He's only twenty-six."

"I had no idea," Sam looked at her, startled to learn this bit of information.

Sam didn't want to tell Ruby about Iain. She doesn't know if Ruby already knows that the person she is covering for, is battling cancer himself. Sam looked at the notices on the board, secretly chilled to realise that most of the notices weren't even there a few days ago. Could Iain and Lily really have made a huge impact on the team? And why instead of posting these notices, couldn't anyone has gone to visit them instead?

"You okay?" Sam was snapped out of her thoughts when Ethan and Cal walked towards them.

"Sorry," Sam inhaled, then exhaled, "Just had something on my mind. Ruby, I'd like you to meet Dr Hardy and Dr Knight, they work in the ED."

"Hi," Ruby introduced herself, taking in the sight of the two doctors.

"Nice to meet you," Ethan smiled at her, "When do you start?"

"Monday," Ruby smiled at him, "I'll grab my bags and head on my way. It's nice to meet you."

Ethan, Cal and Sam watched as Ruby left the ambulance station, ready to head home. Sam felt nervous about explaining Iain's situation to Ruby, especially when her cousin is battling cancer, it'll hit too close to home. She suddenly began to feel guilty about focusing on her own life, hiding away from the situation, until Cal stroked her hand.

"You two okay?" Sam asked them, "What can I do for you?"

"We were planning on seeing Lily and Iain in a bit," Cal smiled, "We wanted to see if you wanted to come with us?"

Sam felt happy to know she wasn't the only one thinking of seeing them. Ethan was also considering it and so was Cal. That's what Iain and Lily really need, friends surrounding the two of them.

"I'm in," Sam smiled.

* * *

Neither wanted to admit it, but the moment Alicia and Louise walked out the door, relief washed all over them both.

When Iain and Lily first learned about their cancer diagnosis, their initial thought was that things won't be the same again. How right they were? They both felt as if they weren't living a fulfilling life, destined to have people treat them differently as to how they were treated before. It was as if they couldn't live a normal life anymore. Not anymore, not while they're fighting this.

It soon dawned on Lily that even if they get the all clear, there's a chance that the two of them will always be looked at by everyone as the 'couple who had cancer'. People will be acting different around the two of them now. Lily thought about Louise, normally they wouldn't be seeing eye to eye, but now that Lily's been diagnosed with cancer, Louise went to see her. But she didn't see Lily at all.

She only saw the cancer.

That was enough for the first tear drop to leave her eye. She tried to be strong, she wasn't the only one treated like this. Feeling as if she's an alien to everyone else, it felt as if _she_ was the cancer, not the person with the illness. Lily noticed the drops on the pyjama bottoms, but she couldn't care. She didn't feel free like she used to, strong like she used to, or Lily Chao like she used to.

Lily felt like the girl with cancer.

Iain noticed her facial expressions, trying hard to fight the tears himself. What happened today, was a wake-up call for him. Louise and Alicia, although they meant well, made them both feel as if they were completely useless. They first noticed the hats, then the constant insistence that they make drinks, even getting the vases. The reality is there for everyone to see and Iain hates it. It was easy to tell now that they have cancer, but how to treat them didn't feel right.

 _Knock! Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock! Knock! Knock!_

The bugs once again crept up inside of Lily's skin and once again, she had to rub her arms gently to ease the sensations of the bugs. Lily couldn't face it again! Not after what happened earlier. She turned to face Iain, who just kept his focus on the clock. It quickly dawned on her that he was thinking the exact same thing as well.

That they didn't want to face anyone at all.

* * *

Sam, Cal and Ethan all waited at the door after Ethan's 'creative' style of knocking. The air felt more like the beginning of January, instead of the end of November. There was a slight flutter of snow falling on top of the three of them, causing Sam to brush the flakes off her blonde hair.

They don't understand. The front light was on, the car was on the drive and they can see the television playing through the sitting room window. Cal, Ethan and Sam all know that the two of them are in, so why are Iain and Lily not coming up to the door?

Cal knocked this time, hoping that one of the two will come to the front door and put the kettle on. He was concerned, he knew that they would be upset with what's going off, but it shouldn't have scared them into shutting everyone out.

But once again, no one answered.

* * *

Iain remained fixed onto the television, hoping that whoever came to visit would take the hint and go home. After hearing the third knock, he finally had enough. He didn't want visitors at this moment, neither did Lily. Why can't people just leave them alone?

"Hey," he turned to whisper to Lily, "Why don't I make us a hot chocolate? We could do with one."

Lily nodded gently, allowing the two of them to stand up and walk hand in hand to the kitchen. She didn't want to be rude to whoever's at the door, but Lily couldn't face a repeat of what happened earlier. It felt unsettling when people can clearly see the cancer. Opening the cupboard, she pulled out two mugs when the bugs made yet another appearance.

They won't go away.

Lily lowered herself to the floor, letting the tears drop down on her face. Iain turned around, heartbroken to see her like this. It was as if yesterday never even happened. Deep down, he didn't blame her for feeling like this, all he wanted to do, and doing now was to shut the whole world out. Not letting anyone into their safe haven, not anymore.

Iain took a deep breath and sat down next to Lily, taking her hand as if it was not only a source of comfort, but a safety line as well. Away from the stresses in their lives, away from the people who didn't understand them, away from all those dusty bugs that have been giving them nothing but grief.

They never did find out who was at the door.

Quite frankly, they didn't even care anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

The three of them decided to count their losses and head home. Iain and Lily clearly didn't want to see them, after all, they haven't got cancer. The three of them are all healthy, not a care in the world. For all they know, the two might not feel up to having any visitors. They didn't blame them; they wouldn't want to see anyone if they were their shoes.

"It could be Gem who was up," Sam mentioned, "Iain often complained that Gem always leaves her headphones in while at home. He and Lily could be in bed."

"You could be right," Ethan mentioned.

The three were about to turn the corner, that was until they caught a glimpse of Gem, trying to shake the snow away from her mustard coloured coat. She looked frozen; it was as if she was walking in the cold weather for a while. That's when they realised exactly who was watching the television.

Why didn't Iain or Lily answer when they knocked on the door? Were they afraid to answer?

"You've seen them then?" Gem smiled, walking towards them.

Sam, Ethan and Cal all looked at each other, wondering how much they should tell Gem. They don't want her to relay everything back to Iain and Lily, they'll hate them for talking about them behind their backs. They don't need enemies now; they need their friends more than ever.

"Should we tell her?" Sam whispered to the brothers, "She could help. Find out why they don't want to see us?"

"What do you mean?" Gem asked, "You're their closest friends, of course they'll want to see you."

"We rang for them," Cal explained to Gem, "They wouldn't answer. I think they're still down especially considering how they were Tuesday."

Gem realised there that between the engagement and right now, something had happened. Iain and Lily should have let the three of them into their home, after all, they had some exciting news to share, which would have given some good news in a horrible situation. Gem took a deep breath, Iain and Lily would probably have wanted to tell Cal, Sam and Ethan themselves, but something must had stopped them.

"Iain and Lily were down yes," Gem explained, "Yesterday, Lily was feeling the effects of her chemotherapy session. But Iain proposed to her last night."

"What?" Sam asked, shocked.

"Yeah," Gem explained, "They got engaged last night. That's why I thought you just visited them. They would have still been on cloud nine."

"Something must have happened," Ethan concluded, shook up over what has happened, "We need to know what."

"How?" Sam asked, "They won't even let us in."

"They won't," Cal concluded, turning to Gem, "But you can. If you could try to talk to them, then maybe they could begin to let us in."

Gem felt conflicted as Cal suggested this. On the one hand, she wants to help, after all Iain is her brother, and he could do with friends on his side and Lily has been like a big sister to her, she shouldn't be alone. But on the other hand, if Gem let Sam, Ethan and Cal in, she'd be betraying their trust. They clearly wanted to be left alone, but would they try to shut Gem out as well if she tried to bring their friends back into their lives? Why were they pushing everyone away in the first place?

"I'll do it," Gem sighed, "I just hope they won't get mad."

* * *

Iain and Lily just sat next to each other on the kitchen floor, their hot chocolate was still in powder form within the two mugs. The water in the kettle had now cooled down again, but no one made any effort into turning it back on again. It was as if they were drawn to the cupboards, neither one didn't want to make any effort out of fear that they'll upset the other with their discovery.

What can they say to each other that they didn't already know? When they knew people would be treating them like fragile glasses, they didn't know when it'll happen or how soon it would happen? The reality has now hit them.

They've got cancer.

And they'll always be known as the 'couple with cancer'.

Lily wiped away another tear with her wrist, determined not to let Iain see her cry again. She knew he was thinking of the exact same thing that she was thinking, and it's got him feeling down as well. But she needed to be strong, she needed to support him. Carefully, she linked her arm with his, relieved when she felt him taking her hand.

The pair stayed in a companioned silence, they can only hear the humming from the electrical appliances, and the sound of footsteps from the neighbours back garden, and the door opening, signalling to them that Gem has come home from work.

Iain felt Lily's grip tighten the moment the footsteps appeared to be quicker. Four times quicker. It soon dawned on them that Gem didn't return home alone. The two of them decided to stay in silence, Lily keeping at eye on the fridge in front of her, whilst Iain kept his view towards the ceiling, making a mental note to remove the cob webs from the dim kitchen lights.

"Iain?" they heard Gem call, "Lily?"

Lily squeezed Iain's hand tightly, she didn't want Gem to know she was in the kitchen and Iain, not blaming her one bit, squeezed back, assuring her that he won't say anything, advising her to keep quiet as well.

"Guys?" they heard Gem call again, "Sam, Ethan and Cal are here. Where are you?"

Iain and Lily silently agreed not to give any indication of where they were hiding. They wished that Gem would assume that they'd be in bed and not bother them at all. But have they given her a reason to worry? Were they secretly scaring her, along with their friends?

Iain tried to keep quiet, but suddenly, the dust began to build up in his airways once again. He was desperate to stay quiet; he didn't want Gem to come and find him and Lily hiding, nor did he want the questions that she'd probably asked. But his airways weren't having it! Not this time.

* * *

When the lights were on, Gem knew that Iain and Lily would still be awake. It was a mystery why they didn't want anyone to see them, especially considering the news they had last night. Something clearly happened this morning or afternoon, which made the two go distant. Gem didn't know what it was, she didn't want to ask them, push them, force them. She just wanted to make sure that her best friend and her older brother were okay.

Gem suddenly heard Iain coughing. The sound, it was coming from the kitchen! Quickly, Gem tiptoed to the kitchen, not wanting to scare Iain or Lily out of fear that they won't say anything to her at all.

"Iain? Lily?" Gem called to the door, "We know you're in there. What's wrong?"

"Gem please," Iain called from the other side of the door, "This is our problem, you don't need to get involved."

"And you don't need to shut people out," Gem responded, not daring to open the door, "I won't ask again. But Sam, Ethan and Cal are here. You two kind of scared them."

"Please Gem," Lily now found her voice, "Tell them to go home."

"It's best they don't know why," Iain continued.

Cal looked at Ethan and Sam, noticing how hurt the two of them are. Cal watched as Ethan wrapped an arm around Sam, giving her silent comfort despite going through the same thing himself. That must be what was happening on the other side of the door and it terrifies him dearly. These people who were shutting everyone out were their friends.

They said that no one goes alone.

And Cal doesn't want them to feel as if they're alone in this.

"Guys," Cal walked over to Gem, careful not to open the door and startle the couple on the other side of the door, "Whatever happened today, it's over. You won't have to face it again. I know this will be scary, but you've got us to help. We won't push you for an explanation as to why you were shutting us out. But sitting there, feeling sorry for yourselves, you're not only hurting yourselves, but you're also scaring each other. We just want to let you both know, that while you fight this, we will remain by your side, doing all we can to make sure you're both comfortable throughout this journey. We're your friends, and we'll always be your friends. You two are a force to be reckon with. If I was cancer, I'd fear you two right now."

Sam and Ethan looked at Cal, they heard someone about to shuffle their feet, before the room was filled with silence again. They slowly heard footsteps walking towards the door, opening it to reveal Iain and Lily coming out.

Sam couldn't believe what Cal did worked, he single handily convince two people to come out of a room and not shut everyone out. Suddenly, the paramedic begun to admire Cal for his skills in convincing people to open their doors. Sam suddenly kept her eyes on the doctor, something clicked about him. It was as if she wanted more than a couple of flirtatious sessions with him.

She wanted to be with him. Truly be with him. Spend her days with him.

Sam and Ethan then considered Iain and Lily's attire; both were in pyjamas, with both looked as if one point both sets belonged to Iain in one way. Sam also considered that Lily's eyes were red; clearly, she was trying to fight back the tears. It was heart breaking to see Iain and Lily so down, something clearly happened.

But Sam made the conscious decision not to ask them what, it'll only upset them once again.

"Gem let the cat out of the bag," Sam explained walking over to them, taking a look at Lily's ring, "The six of us, we've got an engagement to celebrate."

* * *

The phone was held out in her hands. Jan was tempted to give her sister-in-law a call, wanting to talk to her over the phone. She's only texted her before, she can't even remember what she sounded like. The paramedic doesn't even recognise her niece's voice from when she lost her father.

Maybe if she talks to her sister-in-law, Jan could start the healing process and forgive George for his actions over keeping his cancer secret away from her. But she couldn't bring herself to hear Naomi's voice. Not after all the times they never spoke on the phone. George was the only thing that the two of them had in common, and now he's gone.

Connie's right, Jan would be in no right frame of mind to help Iain or Lily if she was unable to forgive George for concealing his secret from her or forgive cancer for taking him away from her.

Jan decided to scroll up her phone, determined to find George's name, wanting to hear her voice when she realised, she was too quick. She skipped through George's name.

But found another name.

Would Iain forgive her if she told her what was happening?

* * *

"I'm sorry," Sam exclaimed, unable to get her head around it, "You were willing to partially shave off random bits of your hair? Iain, that is bonkers! But so sweet."

"Iain, you're making the rest of us look bad," Cal muttered, having a sip of the wine Lily left in the fridge.

No one dared question why Iain and Lily refused to push everyone out, it wasn't like them at all. But it was clear that no matter the good news, the dread of cancer would creep up and torture someone. Everyone noticed that Iain and Lily were both still showing symptoms of their illnesses, from Lily patting her arms to Iain clearing his airways of dust. The symptoms they found will still be with them, but in a way, Iain and Lily were thankful for the dust and the bugs, after all, they may have saved their lives.

It just felt nice to be treated like they were normal again.

"So, how are you guys doing anyway?" Lily asked them.

"We're okay," Sam smiled, "I've been setting up a schedule for next week. Oh, which reminds me, Ethan, you'll need to let me know what shifts you're on."

"What?" Iain was shocked.

"Sam and I agreed to do the fun run together," Ethan explained, "We agreed to train each other. It's in fifteen months however, we've got plenty of time."

"Well there's no better time than the present," Sam smirked, "I could always ask Alicia, if you're trying to weasel your way out."

Hearing Alicia's name suddenly rung alarm bells for Lily and Iain. The pair looked at each other, with uncertainty, they didn't want anyone to know what happened in the afternoon. After all, Alicia's intentions weren't malicious in any way, it was just misunderstood. But it still wasn't a nice feeling for the two of them to go through.

Cal suddenly notice how Iain and Lily at the mention of Alicia's name, they were chatty earlier, but now they've suddenly gone quiet. It soon dawned on the doctor that whatever happened might have something to do with Alicia. He didn't want to press Iain and Lily over the matter however, they were supposed to be celebrating, they've just got engaged.

"Have you two decided on the wedding day?" Ethan asked them, hoping it could distract them.

* * *

Jan waited outside the ED, pondering on whether to call her and tell her what's gone off. She knew she'd drop everything in a heart beat just to see how Iain is doing, especially given the circumstances. And she also become aware that she was blissfully unaware of the troubles everyone was going through whilst she was having a fun family life with her partner and her stepdaughter.

She felt conflicted, she didn't know what to do or how calling her would help Iain in anyway. Jan needed a sign, anything that could help her decide.

"You alright?" she looked to see Charlie sitting next to her.

"Yeah," she whispered, looking at her phone, "I've been debating on calling her, she supported Iain through a lot. She'd want to know what has happened. I'm just not sure how much I could tell her."

"It's worth a chance," Charlie suggested, remembering that there is another person who could help as well, "You've given me an idea as well. It's a gamble, but it could help."

Charlie quickly scrolled through the names on his phone, knowing that this man could help Lily, just like she could help Iain. Even though they didn't see eye to eye before, after the stress that occurred, he begun to support Lily through her days as a Junior Doctor.

Iain and Lily will need all the support they can get, if they want to beat cancer.

* * *

The silence was still there. The wedding day! Iain and Lily never gave it a second thought, not at all. They were surrounded by bliss, before they were treated like glass bottles, about to fall off the wall and shatter into a million pieces. Nothing else mattered at the time, good or bad news.

"We never talked about it," Lily mentioned.

"I guess we'd been dealing with everything else," Iain looked at her, taking her hand, "We never sat down to talk about the wedding."

Ethan and Sam looked concern, they knew why Iain and Lily never discussed the wedding. They had other things to think about on top of the engagement. Did Lily even tell her mum what was going on? Did they talk about plans once they've gotten the all clear? Did they even…

They weren't sure on anything.

Only that they didn't want to bring up their cancer.

"Why don't you two come with us to the pub tomorrow?" Sam suggested, "We need to celebrate your engagement."

Iain and Lily looked at each other, both nervous about what could happen if they show themselves to everyone at the pub? Would they pretend the cancer didn't exist like Ethan and Sam are? Or would they just be a cancer in peoples' eyes like Alicia and Louise? Or would they be treated like normal people like Gem and Cal do?

"We could do," Lily whispered.

* * *

"Okay. Thank you. We'll keep you updated," Charlie set his phone down following the call.

Even though he's trying to stay positive over the situation, he can't help but think about Lily and Iain, and the battle they're facing. They were upset when they learned Lily had been diagnosed with cancer, it was clear Iain was ready to support her…but then he was diagnosed as well. How was this possible? They both couldn't be ill; they were going through what most couples would do in their sixties. Ill health.

It was difficult, Charlie remembered seeing Iain and Lily leaving the pub that fateful night. He was already laughing at the Christmas party, when he saw Iain and Lily walking out the pub together, both smiling at each other. Charlie knew the two of them were flirting with each other, but this was beyond the flirtatious moment. When Lily jumped on Iain's back, kissing his cheek, Charlie knew something happened.

When Charlie noticed Duffy at the pub, he knew he needed the support. Duffy looked up to him, but all Charlie wanted to do was hold her in his arms. After all, he could only picture what Iain and Lily were going through. They needed each other to help them, knowing that this time in the next five years, one or both won't be here.

They need their friends as well, they need to laugh, joke, just be themselves. Would Ethan and Sam be able to support the two of them? They were both clearly distracting themselves, especially with the fun run. Maybe they're trying to get Iain and Lily to forget about the cancer but going about it the wrong way.

"You okay?" Duffy asked him, pulling away from him.

"Yeah," Charlie whispered, "Just, had a lot on."

"Charlie," Duffy sighed, "I know this is difficult for everyone. But you need to look after yourself as well. We have the cancer services ready to talk to anyone who were deeply affected by what has happened. You can't be on standby for everyone."

"I can't turn my back on everyone," Charlie sighed, "Thirty years since I've been here. I've seen so much, but I can't imagine what Lily, and Iain were both going through."

Duffy sighed, she knew Charlie won't be able to put his foot down, so many lives are changing because of one couple who everyone had grown to love. It showed everyone how short and scary live can be, how much time does everyone truly have?

But there is one thing that Lily Chao and Iain Dean are.

Fighters.

Everyone has just forgotten that they don't shy away from challenges. Iain told the story how he trained up to do a solo skydiving experience, gaining the qualification to aid someone with a skydiving jump. Lily on the other hand made a daring attempt on the karaoke, braving the mic several times. If anyone can do what those two do, they can face cancer without any fear.

But not everyone remembers that part of Lily Chao and Iain Dean.

Duffy sighed into Charlie. Lily and Iain were both in their early thirties. What those two are going through doesn't sound fair, not at all. She wanted those two to show themselves more than ever, see them laughing again, see them smiling again, see them working and carrying on as normal again.

"You need to look after yourself as well," Duffy whispered, "How are you going to be good to everyone if you're affected as well?"

* * *

"What was that Ethan?" Cal shouted as they lost again to Iain and Gem, "We were on a winning streak on that race! Why did you save the horn?"

"Two words," Ethan reminded him, "Blue shell!"

Sam and Lily watched this from the kitchen door, both enjoying the sibling argument between the brothers. It felt nice to see the link between siblings, neither one having a sibling themselves, so don't know how the link between the two.

"Good shot Gem," Iain smirked at his sister, happy that they won yet another race.

Lily and Sam looked at each other, before giggling slightly at the sight.

"You okay?" Sam asked her.

"I'm fine," Lily looked at her, "Am I okay to pop round tomorrow for a favour, please?"

"Sure," Sam smiled at her, "It'll be nice to see you and Iain out of here."

"Not Iain," Lily explained, "Please, he can't know about this. I don't want him to worry or tell me not to give up."

Sam realised what Lily was suggesting. She wanted Sam to help her record a video, just in case, just in case, just in case…

…Lily Chao doesn't survive.

Sam didn't want to do it, not at all! It doesn't sound right at all. Lily's a fighter, a survivor. She didn't want to treat Lily like a cancer patient, because she couldn't picture her as one. In fact, she couldn't picture Iain as one either. What was the point in having a video in the first place, when the person making it will get the all clear in no time?

Sam didn't want to do it, because there was no point in doing one in the first place.

But what can she do?

"Lily," Sam turned around, "I can't. You're going to beat this."

"Please Sam," Lily pleaded, "I need to do this. I know that I can stop cancer from controlling my life. But I can't guarantee I'll beat this and I," Lily looked at Iain focused on beating the brothers again, "I need to prepare myself in case I don't beat this," Lily still kept her gaze on Iain, "I have to tell him how much he means to me."

"You do that every day," Sam looked at her, unable to take in what Lily was suggesting.

"I don't want him to feel," Lily was about to turn away, unable to finish her sentence, "I just want him to know."

Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing, Lily Chao doesn't think she'll beat cancer. Suddenly, her five-year plan has been thrown out of the window, her family don't matter anymore, and nothing seemed to matter anymore to Lily at all…apart from one thing.

"I don't want to do this," Sam mentioned, "But I'll do it. But you cannot give up Lily! You've got so much to live for!"

"I know," Lily whispered, "But at least then, I'll be ready in case the worst happen."

* * *

The area felt completely quiet at night, almost as if no one knows who is resting here. But the peacefulness could only interrupt if everyone knew exactly why this was her favourite spot in the world?

After all, Jeff's ashes were scattered here.

It's been five years since he died, the feeling was still raw for her. He would have done anything to help her, he even agreed to marry her to give her father a reason to be proud of her.

Dixie could only think about how Jeff would be able to help Iain in his hour of need. First, he received news that his girlfriend is battling cancer, then the blow came that he was battling cancer as well. How are the two of them coping now? Dixie cannot tell.

"What do I do Jeff?" she whispered into the air, "I can't imagine what Iain is going through at the moment."

"I thought it would be quiet here."

Dixie turned around and noticed Ash is behind her, startled to see him here. Last she heard about him, he moved to another hospital away from Holby, so why did he come back? What was going on?

"What are you doing here?" Dixie looked at him, startled.

"Same reason you were called," Ash knelt beside her, "Charlie told me about Lily and Iain. That's a strange thought."

"They say opposites attract," Dixie sighed, "It doesn't fit right. I can't picture those two with cancer, I can't picture those two together."

"You said it yourself," Ash looked at her, "I wish there was something I could do. I know things weren't easy at first, but if I could help her now."

"I know," Dixie looked at him, "This should be a good distraction for them."

* * *

Ethan and Cal were complaining about their massive losing streak, so Gem replaced Iain with Sam. Iain wasn't complaining, he was starting to feel tired, trying to fight the sleep, snuggling Lily closer to him, letting her rest her head on his chest. Since the battle, Iain was happy to learn the reason Lily loves resting her head against his chest. He wondered if she was able to detect anything when she hears his heartbeat.

"Right boys," Sam smirked as she and Gem crushed the boys for the fifth time in a row, "Are you willing to admit you're rubbish at this?"

"Best six out of eleven?" Ethan suggested.

"You're going to wish you've given up," Gem giggled, "What do you think Lil?"

The four of them were alarmed when Lily failed to answer Gem's question. They turned to her and that's when they saw it. Lily was sound asleep, her arms wrapped around Iain's waist, her legs tucked into Iain's lap. And she wasn't the only one sleeping through the game, as Iain rested his head on top of hers, and his arms wrapped around Lily's waist, almost as if he never wanted to be separated from her again. It looked as if the two slept through every word that they said.

"I think that's our cue to go," Cal mentioned, getting up, before noticing the blanket behind where he previously sat.

He took the blanket, draping it over the two sleeping souls on the sofa. They need the energy, after everything they went through, they needed to sleep. After all, no one would be able to cope with what the two of them have been going through.

"Thanks for the help Gem," Cal smiled at her, "We'll be on our way."

"I should be thanking you," Gem whispered, "I don't know what happened, but they've recovered."

"Who knows," Cal smiled at the two sleeping on the sofa, before he followed Sam and Ethan out the door.

* * *

Ethan was ten metres ahead of them, determined to get home before the cold snap comes back. Sam and Cal walked behind, much to Cal's confusion as Sam walked out just after Ethan. He didn't understand what was going on with her but in a way, he felt happy. If felt as if she wanted something to happen between them.

"That was incredible," Sam whispered to him, "I'm glad it worked."

"Thanks," Cal smiled, "Something happened this afternoon, I'm just happy they're okay."

"They'll beat this," Sam looked ahead.

Cal felt nervous when Sam mentioned that. Will they? Will they really beat cancer? The way they locked themselves away, it was as if they were contemplating their fate. That the two were doubtful about their battle. It was as if they wanted to take advantage of the time that they have left together.

"This is where I head home," Sam commented as the three walked past her block of flats, "Thanks for the offer guys. It felt nice, knowing they'll be okay."

"You're welcome," Cal and Ethan smiled at her.

They watched as Sam was about to enter the building, deciding to wait until she's inside. That was, until Sam walked back towards Cal. She placed her hands on his shoulders, and placed a kiss on his cheek, before walking back to the building, looking at the doctor through the window.

"Sounds like you won a girl," Ethan joked as Sam walked out of sight.

"No," Cal mentioned, "I won _the_ girl for me."


	17. Chapter 17

**I want to thank peachpanicpit for that lovely review on the last chapter. It was an unconscious decision to bring back Dixie and Ash for the story and the decision to involve everyone into the story is hopefully able to show how much cancer can affect people, even when the loved ones aren't battling the condition themselves.**

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

"Thank you, Sam," Lily smiled, handing her the memory stick, "I really appreciate what you've done."

Sam smiled back at Lily, wiping her eyes away from the tears. The paramedic was shocked that she was silently crying during filming. Turns out, she was dreading doing this more after it was done, rather than before. Especially, when she is trying to take Lily's mind off having cancer in the first place. It was agreed between her and Ethan that they would do whatever it takes to help both her and Iain feel more comfortable and more confident.

"It's okay," Sam smiled, "Where do you want to put me to put the stick?"

"It doesn't matter," Lily tried to pat her head, "So long as Iain doesn't find out about it unless," she tried to say the words, but the thought, of dying, leaving Iain, she couldn't say it.

"You okay?" Sam asked, worried it's the symptoms irritating her.

"I'm fine," Lily frowned, "Do you mind if I use the bathroom please?"

"Sure," Sam sighed, "Go ahead."

Sam grew concerned; this was the first time Lily went out with her wig. It soon dawned on her that even though Lily shaved her hair off, she was still cautious about people seeing her without a wig or a hat. Sam thought about it, she knew she'd be cautious in Lily's shoes. Suddenly she felt as if she doesn't need to do her hair up in a while.

"Sorry Sam," Lily sighed exiting the bathroom with her woolly hat, "Gem meant well, but that wig can be itchy."

"Don't they normally have something to help?" Sam asked her.

"We haven't really looked," Lily admitted, "I'm going to look for one tomorrow. We haven't told my mum about the hair loss. So, we're trying to find something that matched my natural colour."

"Wow, couples who do live together really do act alike," Sam muttered under her breath, not noticing Lily giggling after her, "You haven't told her about your hair?"

"The last time we saw each other," Lily explained, "She tried to get me to style it more. It was as if something changed in her."

"What do you mean?"

Lily took a deep sigh, "I'm just not sure."

* * *

Cal felt as if he was on cloud nine following what has happened between him and Sam.

The kiss from last night, it did set off a range of feelings for him. It was strange, he never felt as strong for anyone before. Did Sam Nicholls have this charming effect on him? Waiting to come forward with his head staring at her? He never worked as hard to get the affections of anyone before, not even Lily or Alicia. Sam must mean something to him if he was more than willing to work hard for her.

Cal's thoughts were snapped instantly when he heard arguing in the staff room. It sounded like Ethan and Alicia, causing concern for him.

"Seriously," Ethan called out, "How can you be so inconsiderate? This isn't like you."

"You're ditching me, for a stupid training session?" Alicia called out.

"This stupid training session is to help raise money to support people with cancer," Ethan reminded her, "I won't be overexerting myself; Sam and I have made time to work together."

"That's another issue," Alicia muttered, "You are spending a lot of time with Sam lately!"

"Forgive me," Ethan frowned at her, "But what's wrong with me and Sam talking lately?"

Alicia tried to find a way of speaking back to Ethan, but she couldn't say anything, not without sounding jealous. But lately Ethan is spending all his time with Sam, it's making her feel uncomfortable, she knows how she and Ethan started. And with Sam and Cal's relationship, it'd be time repeating itself.

"Alicia please don't," Cal warned her, "Ethan and Sam have something in common, they're the only people who understand each other well."

"And why is that important?" Alicia asked him, "Why can't I understand Ethan like Sam does?"

Ethan had enough! Alicia is clearly being unfair, it's sad that Alicia doesn't understand, but Sam on the other hand does. Ethan needs to do this run, not just for Lily, Iain and everyone else affected by cancer, but for himself as well. What happening to his friends has proven that life is too short; the symptoms could come at any moment, limiting the things that Ethan can do. He is certain there are some things that Iain and Lily won't be able to do, not until they get better.

Cal watched as Ethan walked out of the staff room. It was clear that there was something on his mind and Alicia wasn't keen to make her disapproval known.

* * *

Iain felt nervous walking through the town on his own, this is the first time he's been out since being told he's got cancer, first time alone. Without Lily. When he was told she was planning on going out with Sam just a bit, he did feel slightly nervous. But sometimes, they do still need to do their own thing. Iain is a bit relieved that Lily didn't go out on her own, it means that there is someone making sure she's okay.

Looking out the window after grabbing a coffee, the moment will pass. It soon dawned on Iain realised that he may not be able to enjoy the coffee again. Chemotherapy does change you, your taste buds, your energy levels, your memory. Why is he worried about it? He hasn't even had his first session yet, but he was still nervous. Sympathy built up for Lily, this didn't feel as pleasant going through it either.

Iain watched as two people were walking through the door. He watched as the guy offered to get the coffee, but the girl tells him to sit down as she'd get the coffee. Remembering what Alicia and Louise did to him and Lily, he did find it unfair. It was clear the guy had wanted to say something to her.

"Cousins," he muttered, not realising Iain could hear him.

"I thought she was your sister," Iain looked at him, smirking.

"No," he explains, joining Iain at his table, "She's been living with us whilst she's working. Even though her parents disagree with her going on temporary. But she's excited and then she'll have experience."

"And you?" Iain asked.

"Had to put a halt on my dreams of owning a top restaurant," he muttered, "I work as a chef in a Wetherspoons. Only I had to cut my hours."

"I had to take a leave from my job," Iain frowned, "I've been diagnosed with Leukaemia and I have to take leave. I'm a paramedic and my manager didn't want to take chances with me falling ill."

Iain suddenly noticed the guy tensing; the reality had hit him that the bloke is also battling cancer as well. The feeling that the girl was insistent on caring for him, brought back what Alicia and Louise did to him and Lily. He felt like the worst person possible, the girl meant well, but it must have made him feel completely useless as a result.

"I touched a nerve, haven't I?" Iain asked him.

"No," he sighed, "I should count myself lucky I only had my hours reduced. I apologise by the way, my name's Luke."

"I'm Iain," he smiled back, "So, how long have you've been battling with your cancer?"

"Two years," Luke sighed, "I have Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia. Some days are brilliant, but others are horrible."

"How do you manage?" Iain asked, "My fiancée, she's been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and she was upset yesterday, well we both were. Our friends, they treated us as if we were glass bottles."

"I'm sorry to hear that about your fiancée," Luke mentioned, "But I'm lucky. Ruby's a pain but she and the rest of my family are supportive. They never once mentioned the cancer and I was able to crack jokes about it to feel more normal."

"What's the definition of normal?" Iain scoffed.

"I don't know but I know I don't fit in it," Luke chuckled, "Anyway, best head back. Ruby's going to wonder where I've disappeared to."

* * *

"Thank you, Mrs Beauchamp," Cal smiled after being handed back the notes, "I'm glad it's not just me who had this suspicion."

"You're welcome," Connie smiled back, "But is everything okay? You've seemed distracted today. Don't get me wrong, it's not like you."

Cal was torn between talking to Connie. On the one hand, it would be nice to talk to someone about his concerns, getting their opinion on the matter. On the other hand, he could be wrong about his suspicions, having an explosion of emotions come out and haunt him later. Would Alicia think he's going about it the wrong way?

"Are we okay to talk away from gossiping staff?" Cal asked, "I think something happened yesterday, only I can't be certain."

"Okay," Connie smiled, motioning for Cal to follow her into the office, "What's the matter?"

Cal felt guilty about this; it was as if he was betraying so many of his friends. Not only would he be potentially selling Alicia out, he would also have to tell Connie about the start of Lily and Iain's cancer journey, instead of it being those two keeping Connie updated. How would Connie react to learning about what has been happening?

"Me, Sam and Ethan," Cal inhaled then exhaled, "We went to see Lily and Iain yesterday."

"I have a feeling you three would," Connie smiled, "How were they?"

"They didn't answer the door at first," Cal explained, "Gem helped us get in, but they just stayed in the kitchen. We didn't know where they were until we heard Iain coughing. But the night before," Cal closed his eyes, "The night before, they got engaged. If they say anything, just act surprised."

"Will do," Connie nodded, happy that there was some good news, "Did they say anything about what happened?"

"We didn't ask them," Cal explained, "They were already upset. We've told them about Ethan and Sam doing the run, but when we mentioned a name, they've froze. I think they may have had someone visiting them and that someone may have upset them."

"Whose name was it?" Connie asked, knowing Cal wouldn't sell a colleague out, "If it was someone here, we can catch the guilty party. We can't have Lily or Iain feeling like that again."

"I think Alicia might have done something," Cal admitted, "It was her name that they've froze over."

Connie took a deep breath, Charlie warned her that Alicia and Louise would have been going to visit them. Personally, she found it too soon for anyone other than Cal, Sam or Ethan to go and visit them, but she couldn't find any good reason to talk the two out of it. Now that she heard what Iain and Lily had went through, she wished she had told the two not to go and see them.

If she had stopped the two from visiting Lily and Iain, then what happened could have been avoided.

* * *

"Anyway," Lily noticed how silent Sam went after she told her about her mother, "What about you and Cal? You never did tell us how that date went."

"I thought Cal mentioned it," Sam giggled.

"He hasn't bragged about it," Lily rolled her eyes, "You're the first person he hasn't. That's a good sign."

"You really think that?" Sam begun to smile at the thought.

Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing. Cal really thought high of her, high enough to respect her, her feelings, her choices. When people think of her, they thought of 'two divorces' and run for the hills. Cal hasn't, he knew about her mistakes and he was still interested in her. Not knowing why, she was special in comparison to others, but Sam felt as if there was truly something there.

"I know so," Lily smiled, "Cal may be arrogant, a trouble-maker and a pain in the neck, but he's understanding, non-judgemental, and someone who would treat you like an equal."

"You okay?" Sam asked the moment Lily's voice began to break.

"Yesterday," Lily choked, "We had some visitors pop round. Me and Iain, we were just relaxing, having an argument over something we were watching. Then we had a couple of visitors come by, but they treated us differently," Lily wiped a tear from her eye, "They kept on insisting that we'd sit back, and they did everything for us. It was as if we couldn't look after ourselves."

It made sense why Iain and Lily were in the state they were in last night! Sam doubted the people who came to visit them would do so if it weren't for the fact that the two of them were battling cancer. Clearly the people who came went for brownie points. It was clear to Sam, whoever came to visit them were colleagues.

"Who was it?" Sam asked her, "I know it was a colleague. I could have a word."

"Please don't," Lily pleaded with Sam, "They didn't realise they were doing it."

"It shouldn't matter," Sam explained, "They still did it. They've looked at the cancer, not at the pair who've got engaged. I bet they left before you had a chance to tell them."

Sam frowned, since a few seconds into that statement, Lily peeled her eyes to the floor.

"Thought so," Sam sighed, "So who was it?"

"It doesn't matter," Lily frowned, "Please, just forget I said anything. I just want to pretend yesterday never happened. I woke up with a stiff neck."

"That ought to teach you that sofas are not for sleeping on," Sam chuckled, "How did Iain managed it?"

"Just as confused as I am," Lily commented, "Neither of us could recall how a blanket was draped over us."

* * *

"I'm nervous about tomorrow," Ruby sat the coffee down onto the table, "My first day as a paramedic, I wished my parents were more supportive."

"It's still close to home," Luke reassured her, looking at Iain who was looking at his phone, "Did they say how long the term would be?"

"They don't know," Ruby sighed, "Apparently one of the paramedics is on long term sick. I feel bad for taking over his place."

Iain suddenly looked up, yesterday Sam told him that cover was going to be provided for the paramedics whilst he's battling cancer. Iain knew that his absence would mean that bank staff could take over from his shifts. Feeling sorry for the poor girl (she's likely to be partnered with Sam who is cranky without her morning coffee), Iain decided to walk over to the table again, hoping what he can say and do will reassure her.

"Sorry to interrupt," Iain cleared his throat, "But are you going to be working with the Holby Ambulance Service?"

"Yes," the girl mentioned, "How did you know that?"

"Ruby," Luke smiled, "This is Iain, we had a good chat whilst you were grabbing the coffees."

"I'm also the paramedic you're covering for," Iain smiled, "I just want to reassure you that everyone will be fine and patient with you. You're in the best hands. If there is any advice; I could provide is this, if you're going to annoy someone, make sure they had their morning coffee, then they have the energy to make a witty comeback."

Ruby giggled at this statement; she couldn't understand why Iain would be needing to take the time off work. He was cracking up jokes, he looked healthy and he was able to go out. Why was he taking time off ill? Was he going through something she doesn't know?

"Thanks for the reassurance," Ruby smiled, "I hope you'll feel better."

Iain smiled at Ruby, knowing that everyone will be okay whilst he and Lily battle their wannabe killers. Iain secretly wished he could be getting to know Ruby in different circumstances, she seemed eager to learn and is up for a laugh. But it soon dawned on him that Ruby will be supporting her cousin with cancer, just like everyone is supporting both him and Lily.

Iain was about to walk away, when his phone suddenly rings.

"Not you as well," Ruby groaned, "I hate that tune."

"Ignore her," Luke smirked, "She's got no taste in music."

"I don't think anyone normal does," Iain laughed, walking away after waving to the pair, so he can answer the phone, recognising the caller.

* * *

Sam just returned to her flat after taking Lily home, secretly fuming about how their "friends" could have treated the pair like they couldn't look after themselves. It was horrible to think that anyone could look at the cancer, not the person. In retrospect, she was relieved that Lily was able to confide in someone about this, avoiding the need to bottle up her emotions. Deep down, Sam wanted to talk to whoever it was that made them feel like this, talk to them, yell at them. Judging by Lily's tone of voice, it wasn't just the one person who said anything to the pair.

Sam was about to sit down, when she noticed that her phone had just received a text from Ethan.

 _Are we okay to start training Sunday?_

* * *

 **I apologise for this chapter being rushed, I'll admit it's not my best piece of work, but I've been wanting to add some Christmas chapters into the chapter. I've even set the deadline and I'll might decide to add a New Year chapter in as well.**


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter I was slightly nervous about especially at the ending, but I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

 ** _17_ _th_ _November_**

The atmosphere felt busy, on a Sunday as well. Completely strange considering the day of the week it was supposed to be.

Iain kept watching this from the window of the hairdressers, deeply surprised that this was open on a Sunday as well. He watched as people just walked past the shop, some were on their phones, others were walking with their families. There was even a young couple holding hands as they ran through the battlefield of the passers-by, trying to avoid getting separated from each other. Iain vowed the minute he and Lily join that battlefield, that they weren't going to get separated from each other.

"How does this look?"

Iain turned to find Lily sporting the new look, the wig matched Lily's natural brunette colour, completely straight, only just reaching the top of her shoulders. Iain was certain if he hadn't have helped Lily with her hair (Hence seeing her do it), he wouldn't have noticed any difference between the two.

"Exactly like you were before," Iain smiled at her, "It isn't itchy is it?"

"They've told me about wig liner," Lily explained, "I've tried one on and it made the blonde wig feel a bit more comfortable. I'll be right back."

Iain smiled as Lily quickly paid for the wig and the wig liner. Thinking back, Iain remembered that for him, concealing the hair loss would be easy. Whilst looking through drawers, he noticed that he had a lot of hats that he hasn't worn before, making him realise that whilst he lost the hair, he might as well take advantage of the collection. It felt a lot warmer for him now, and he didn't feel as nervous about going out as he had done before.

Lily walked back out, sporting her blonde wig again. Remembering with Iain, she doesn't have to face the dreaded journey alone. She still couldn't believe that she had taken so much for granted before the diagnosis. Feeling nervous and guilty about Tuesday, since it'll be the first chemotherapy session for Iain, and she'll be missing the first few stages because she'll be having the same drugs entering her veins. But Lily felt as if the cancer battle, it had brought the two of them a lot closer than it ever had done before.

Lily walked beside him, linking her right arm with his left arm, resting her head on his shoulder. Lily smiled at everyone, still trying to grasp how everyone is in town, rather than at home, having a normal Sunday.

Normal, Lily sniggered remembering what Ethan had told her. He was right, she was never normal. And Lily never wanted to be normal at all.

"Ready to brave the mob?" Iain smirked at her, as Lily nodded, "Don't know why people are here suddenly."

"You two haven't heard?" they turned to face another customer, "It's the Switch On today!"

Lily and Iain froze at the mention! They didn't think about Christmas at all! They've been focused on their health battle; they didn't think about the upcoming Christmas celebrations. In fact, the two weren't paying attention to when the Switch On was. Coming into town without realising it was a huge consequence of their forgetfulness. The festivities, the music, the lights and the firework show!

"That explains the crowd," Lily gulped.

* * *

Ethan walked over to the block of flats, borrowing his brother's clothes without him noticing was a stretch but he was determined to forget about the argument he had with Alicia a few days ago. The flat had been shrouded with tension, and Ethan needed to escape from it! Noticing that there was tension between him, and Alicia was one thing, but then Ethan noticed tension between Cal and Alicia as well. Did Cal say anything to upset Alicia? Ethan couldn't be sure.

He walked over to the door, smiling when he noticed Sam just about to walk through the hallway. That's when Ethan noticed the heavy rucksack Sam was carrying, and he frowned, realising that Sam had something more in mind. Ethan realised that when Sam intended on training him, she had more in mind than simply doing a few jogs to increase his stamina.

"Hey," Sam heaved, "I take you're ready and fully committed?"

"I am," Ethan frowned, "But I thought we were doing jogging. What's all this?"

"If you want to do this run and not faint afterward," Sam smirked, "You've got to really go for it. Not just your stamina but you also need to make sure that the 10K won't have a big impact on your muscles."

"So, what's in the bag?" Ethan asked her, "Weights?"

"They're in the ambulance station," Sam smiled, "This is for later, once we get there."

* * *

Hiding out in the café was the worst idea that Iain could have suggested, but he was hoping that once the crowd died down, he and Lily could make their escape whilst everyone was there watching the show. Lily was already feeling a little tired, and deep down, Iain wanted to relax afterwards, but the two have decided to make the fifteen minutes trek from where they live instead of driving it to town.

Lily watched as the coffee shop was outside the marketplace, now decorated to make the festivities of the Christmas spirit. How did she forget that Christmas time was approaching? How did she fall so behind on her Christmas? How did she fail to realise this is the period for everyone coming together?

It soon dawned on Lily, this could be the last time she and Iain would celebrate Christmas together. Even though Lily didn't want to think about it, she can't escape the possibility of dying. Feeling relieved that she left the message for Iain to Sam to keep a hold of should the worst happen, Lily completely forgot about the present! There are some people who choose to live in the past, whilst there are others who choose to live in the future.

"Here you go," Iain set the two coffees aside, two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream and a gingerbread man, "If we hide in here until the show then we won't get lost among the crowds."

"Are we being a little be too rash?" Lily asked, her eyes still looking out the window, "We were so worried about everything lately, we haven't thought about what was happening around us."

"What are you implying?" Iain asked her confused, before realising what Lily was suggesting, "Wait, am I hearing Lily Chao saying she wants to stay for the Switch On?"

"I know it sounds shocking," Lily turned to him, "I don't want to say what I'm worried about because then you'd just tell me I'm being."

"I'm scared about that as well," Iain confessed, taking a deep breath, "When I was diagnosed, my initial thought was that I was going to die. Then I thought about how you were coping; I knew there was great possibility that you'd be okay, but you were right. There's still that chance, for one or both of us that we may not be here next year."

"I couldn't even say the word," Lily smiled at Iain reached for her hand, "So, what do we do about it?"

Iain sighed at Lily's question. Confliction filled him completely, he wanted to miss this and say that there's always next year, but then again, what if this could be the last Christmas? Would they have then taken everything for granted only to let the opportunity slide away? Every year he missed out, even as a child. What kind of life was that for him?

"Why don't we stay?" Iain suggested, "And if we're here next year then we'll make it special. But for this year, let's treat this Christmas as if it'll be the last?"

"That'll be lovely," Lily smiled, as she watched Iain take a gulp of his drink, setting the mug down, "You may want to remove the moustache mind."

* * *

"If I knew you'd be carrying that, I'd have brought the car," Ethan commented, "Why don't I lift it for a while? Give your back a break."

Ethan honesty wished he had brought his car as poor Sam is struggling with that heavy rucksack. If she ended up pulling a muscle, then that would mean that the Ambulance Service would be two paramedics short. But Ethan was secretly impressed that Sam was able to carry the rucksack for a long distance already, but maybe he could give her a break.

"I'm fine," Sam smiled, "I'm a lot stronger than you'd think."

"Okay," Ethan sighed, "Just offering."

"We're almost at the station anyway," Sam smiled, "Beside; this isn't even that heavy."

Ethan smiled as they turned around, walking towards the Hope and Anchor. It soon dawned on him that Sam didn't live that far from the hospital. All the time he was worried for her and he didn't even need to worry about her. Sam Nicholls was a lot stronger than Ethan gave her credit for. How did he not realise this part of her? Did he really know little about the woman who he worked alongside with? Who he'd be training alongside with?

Who he'd find that he had more in common with than he thought?

"So, what have we've got first?" Ethan questioned her.

"Weight-lifting," Sam smiled at him as soon as they entered the station, "In order to reduce risk of injury as well as increase your power and endurance, we need to work on our upper muscle strength."

"Okay," Ethan answered, "So where do we start?"

"Let's start with something simple," Sam suggested, taking two yoga mats and setting them on the floor, "The first thing we need to do are sit ups."

* * *

After ordering another cup of hot chocolate, Iain and Lily walked side by side amongst the crowd. Arms linked, they didn't want to leave each other alone amongst the crowd, not knowing where they'd find their way out. The cold air was facing them, but they were together, protected with the warm clothing they were wearing, both surprised that there was little snow left over from a few days ago.

The pair found a quiet, unoccupied area and walked over to it. Next to them were a young father, his little girl was sitting on his shoulders. Both were wrapped up warm, causing the cold air to warm up time after time. Lily smiled as she rested her head on Iain's shoulder, feeling warmer as his arm wrapped around her, sharing each other's warmth.

The song of "I Believe in Father Christmas" was being sung in the background, the music felt magical and comforting. Lily felt as if she was being lifted by snowy winds, allowing her to fly high in the sky. Only, she didn't want to let go of Iain, keeping a tight grip to his hand. As Lily closed, then opened her eyes to find that by listening to the magical song, she had reached for Iain's hand. The pair looked at their joined hands, as well as into each other's eyes. Lily then turned to face the stage, knowing that in a few seconds, Iain will wrap his arms around her and pull her closer to him.

And just as she predicted, she felt herself being pulled into his warm arms, feeling his head leaning on her shoulders. Lips brushed against her cheek, Lily had clearly forgotten how cold it had been, not a care in the world.

Just as things should be.

* * *

Not going to lie…this was torture.

Ethan felt as if his whole body was on fire. From his legs to his arms, the heat was building up as the salty water had been resting upon his face, his palms, his whole body. Was this really going to help him in the long run? If this is what torture feels like, then Ethan would wish that he could repent against all the sinful things he has done in the past! Seeing the face of the evil forcing him to do this, every time he does a successful sit up doesn't help at all.

"Come on," the torture egged him on, "Five more and then you can have a break!"

"You said that thirty sit ups ago!" Ethan called out to her, before giving up and rest his whole body to the floor, "How is this supposed to help me?"

"Yes," Sam smirked, "It hits your abs," Ethan watched as Sam patted her abs, "If you run for a long distance, you could risk seriously hurting yourself."

"Cal warned me I should start working out at the gym," Ethan muttered, sitting up, "I don't think I'm ready for this."

"That's why I've started fifteen months in advance," Sam smirked, sitting next to him, "I had those doubts when I joined the army."

Ethan watched as Sam walked over to her rucksack and pulled out two bottles of water. Opening it up, she took a sip out of one of them, before handing the spare one over to Ethan, watching as he drunk so eagerly, not realising how dry his mouth was. It was as if the heat from those dreaded sit ups turned the ambulance station into a sauna. Ethan never thought how nice the water tasted until it hit his tongue and the roof of his mouth. It felt cold, relaxing, beautiful.

"Did water always taste so good?" Ethan asked Sam, making her laugh.

"This was the part that I love after a good workout," Sam giggled, "Taking care of yourself is also important. To keep fit for the run, you'll need a diet…"

"Rich in protein," Ethan finished for her, "All the things I tell my patients. I never thought about it myself."

"I never thought about it like that," Sam gasped, "We've taken so much for granted, we haven't thought about what we were doing to ourselves."

"That should have been a wake-up call for me," Ethan mentioned, "It, it only hit me a few weeks ago. I have a condition that will stop me from living the life I want to live, but I've never realised how much my life would change due to one diagnosis."

"I've never seen anyone delve so deep about their condition," Sam smiled, "Does anyone else know about the condition? I know Cal and Alicia does."

"Just Lily, Charlie and Mrs Beauchamp," Ethan answered, "You were the first person I've spoken to about it without feeling scared about it."

"I'm happy you feel open to talking about it," Sam smiled, taking a swig of her water.

* * *

The stage was gathered with stars from the panto, the local singer and Santa himself. The excitement was filling the air, not knowing how the lights will look on display this year, knowing either way, it'd looked magical as a Winter Wonderland.

Iain managed to find a bench for him and Lily to sit on after noticing how tired she was feeling, moving her feet to keep the blood circulated in her legs, preventing her from stiffening her muscles. Lily wrapped her arms around Iain's arm, resting her head on his shoulder, not taking her eyes off the stage for a second. The crowd went wild with excitement and all Lily could do was take in the same excitement.

"Are we ready to countdown for the Holby Switch On 2019?" the host announced to a large cheer, "Ten! Nine! Eight!"

Lily hugged Iain's arm harder, closing her eyes, knowing the next time she opens them, the lights that were once dull, will show a range of colours.

"Seven! Six! Five! Four!"

Iain placed a long kiss on Lily's cheek, realising how cold she was feeling despite the warmth from everyone who were squeezed in with the two. He left his lips on her cheek, taking in her frozen state.

"Three! Two! One!"

Iain moved his head as Lily opened her eyes to notice the lights have switched on, following by the colourful sparks in the black sky, ranging from red to green to yellow to pink to orange.

Lily looked around, for what was once a dull and lifeless town centre were decorated with snow white walls, with patterns of blue stars, followed by green trees. Iain noticed that the streets were also decorated with lights showing Santa and his reindeer flying, all colours of red and yellow. Next to the courthouse; a blue circle lit up, showing inside three white stars, the colour of pure white snow.

The place, it, it looked just as magical as Lily hoped it would.

"Wow!" Lily gasped in delight, turning to Iain, "It's beautiful."

"I didn't think I'd enjoyed as I thought," Iain beamed, "They're amazing."

"Thank you," Lily smiled at him, "This is a perfect day."

Iain smiled at Lily, as she took out her phone. It soon dawned on him that this is the first photo they will take since the diagnosis. The feeling, sounds surreal, the journey feels terrifying. But something about the diagnosis changed something about Lily, as she took in her surroundings, amazed with all the colours within the town centre. It was as if Lily was embracing every small thing about being alive. Thinking about it, Iain suddenly realised he was also embracing the time he has now, taking each day as it comes. The decision to treat this Christmas like it would be the last, made the day even more special for the two of them.

Iain pulled Lily close to him, as she held out her phone and took the photo. The first selfie since the diagnosis, where nothing was going to stop them being a normal (well to their standards) couple. Where they were going to embrace each day of being alive, not missing a single thing.

The crowd was starting to walk away from the venue. Some were walking towards the car parks. Others were walking towards the bus station. The place was slowly starting to feel empty again, leaving Iain and Lily alone at the bench.

"Do you want to head home?" Iain asked Lily.

"Can we stay for a little bit longer please?" Lily asked, leaning her head against his, "I just want to take this all in."

"We can stay here for as long as you like," Iain smiled, rubbing his hand along her arm.

* * *

 ** _19_ _th_ _November_**

The crowd was massive, full of couples on dates, young families strong enough to lift their young children on top of their shoulders, and friends videoing the special event. The two of them frowned at this, as they never would imagine anyone to be excited about something that they could see every year. Not when they could be doing something else with their time.

"I still don't understand what the big deal is about this," Sam complained, "All it is, is just some lights being turned on. What is the big deal?"

"I thought you were festive," Ethan chuckled, "Bet you wished Cal was here instead. Then he could lift you up on his back."

"Funny," Sam glared at him, "I can't believe he suggested we'd go. I don't really feel like celebrating anything."

Ethan stayed silent, trying to fight the tears threatening to fall.

"Ethan," Sam shook her head, unable to believe she had said something so insensitive, "I'm sorry."

"Shut up," Ethan wiped the tears, "It, it doesn't feel right to be here somehow."

Sam's tears started to form as she wrapped her arms around one of her closest friends, allowing them to fall as she felt his arms wrap around her as well.

Neither of them noticing that two feet away from them, two blackbirds (one living up to the name, another a dark shade of brown) perched over at a brown bench, watching the two friends hug in their sadness. After watching the two friends break apart, they spun around, before lifting themselves up, flying away before the place gets too crowded for everyone.


	19. Chapter 19

**This was one of the chapters that I wanted to post last month, however I felt as if it was too rushed.**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

When Iain discovered Lily's secret of being just as disorganised as him, it was the biggest surprise of his life. But Lily's skills of being disorganised is useful sometimes since whenever Iain want to find something, it was right in front of him. Just like the notebook she left from the night before her first chemotherapy session.

Iain opened the notebook, trying to take in what to expect from the drugs entering his veins. Nothing. Of all the things Lily leaves out, she leaves the impact that life changing treatment would have to his health. He was still unsure if the treatment would be painful, or how long he would be in the hospital for, or would he be alone during the treatment?

"Iain?" he quickly rested the notebook, the moment he saw a glimpse of Lily, who was holding onto a box, struggling to carry it.

"Hold on," Iain jumped up to support Lily with the box, looking at it, "Maybe there was a reason you never go to Switch On. It's the middle of November."

"I know," Lily smiled, as they set the box aside, "But if you're not going to sleep before your first chemo session, at least make yourself useful and help me decorate a tree."

"Gem will go nuts if she sees the tree in the middle of November," Iain argued, taking in every word he just said, "Actually, forget I said that! Where are we putting this?"

"I was hoping over there," Lily smiled, pointing to the spare corner, "Plenty of space."

* * *

Cal hated himself for thinking it, but it was funny seeing his little brother limping following his little workout on Sunday. Ethan tried to limit moving around as he felt as if his limbs suddenly turned to stone overnight, making movement very slow. It was clear that Ethan is genuinely unfit, as he was clearly not used to the intense workout.

Deep down, Cal doesn't want his brother to give up on this. Sure, he was more tired. Sure, he was struggling to move around. Sure, he was going to be in pain for a while. But Ethan would one day become accustomed to the pain that he wouldn't notice it anymore, he'll be a lot fitter (especially considering he'll be running a ten-kilometre run as well), and he'll be interacting more with others as well.

"Any advice for sore muscles?" Ethan groaned, looking through a patient's notes.

"Do more of what you're doing," Cal smirked, "You'll get used to it. When's the next training session?"

"We've arranged it for tomorrow," Ethan sighed, "Hopefully my muscles will feel better."

"Tomorrow?" Ethan and Cal looked up to see Alicia opposite the nurse's station, "You've haven't forgotten we were supposed to be going to the cinema tomorrow night?"

"I've spoken to Sam," Ethan sighed, "We'll be training in the morning. We'll have time for the film."

"So, it's with Sam again," Alicia frowned, "Why do I sound worried?"

Cal knew Alicia had a problem with Sam spending time with her boyfriend, but she had nothing to worry about. Sam was helping Ethan, and Ethan was making a lot of time with Alicia as well. Ethan and Sam needed each other more than ever; they have a mutual ground with what's been going on. A lot of people all were in awe with Ethan and Sam becoming fast friends, showing that in the hardest of times, everyone can be brought closer together.

"Alicia," Ethan growled, "Sam's my friend, and you don't see a problem with me being best friends with Lily! Now, there's a problem with me being friends with Sam?"

"That's different!" Alicia argued, "Lily is ill!"

"So, it was you who upset them last week?"

Ethan, Cal and Alicia turned to see Sam and the new paramedic Ruby behind them. No one knew how long the two were around, but it looked as if Sam heard a little bit of their argument.

And judging by Sam's facial expression, she did not like hearing what Alicia had to say about her friend.

* * *

The corridors felt quiet, spacious and empty. The grey floors were as shiny as the windows displaying the gardens, whilst the walls were decorated in a horrible, mustard shade of yellow. It looked hideous, revolting, ugly. Was this supposed to be the corridor to provide comfort to people going to be going through?

Iain couldn't understand how.

Lily and Iain walked out of the scary corridor and entered a waiting room, which looked more appealing than the horrid walls. With the baby blue walls, and the navy seats along with a pile of magazines, resting on a white coffee table. The two walked over to the reception desk to talk to the receptionist.

"Hello," she smiled at the two, before noticing looking at her computer, "Can I take a name please?"

"Lily Chao," Lily smiled.

"Iain Dean," Iain followed her.

"Okay," the receptionist looked up to the two of them, "If the two of you would like to come with me, we can get you both settled in."

* * *

Gem could have sworn blind she was dreaming last night.

Yesterday, before she left for her night shift, she left Iain and Lily having their usual debate over the nonsense television programme that they were both getting into. It was typical how a television show that had the four main characters being teenagers can have a major impact on a couple of adults.

But the strangest thing was, when Gem returned home from her night shift, she could have sworn she saw a Christmas tree in the corner of the sitting room, in the middle of November.

Walking past the sitting room and entering the kitchen, Gem turned on the radio, already dancing along to the sound to Ed Sheeran, moving to the beat of the music, ensuring she doesn't miss a single beat as she opened the fridge, taking the jam out, resting it on the table, closing the cupboard, grabbing the bread, sticking it into the toaster, turning the toaster on, before stopping to catch her breath.

Maybe she should ask Sam to train her as well as Ethan, if she was getting tired already.

Gem was interrupted by her thoughts when she heard the door knock. Strange, she wasn't expecting anyone to visit. And Iain and Lily are off to their chemotherapy session, so why would someone come to visit them?

Gem walked over to the door, before opening it.

Only, she didn't expect to see who she was facing.

Surely, this woman…she couldn't be.

"Lily's your daughter?" Gem asked, startled.

"You must be Iain's sister," she worked it out as well, "That means that my daughter, she didn't tell me everything."

* * *

Lily didn't realise that some areas are okay with unisex areas, which worked well for her having Iain beside her. She didn't know why she felt so easy this time compared to the last session. Maybe it was down to knowing what to expect from the last time, or knowing no one was going to be having words with anyone (She was worried Sam was going to have a go at Iain at the worst possible time), or that this time, Iain is right beside her.

"We meet again."

Lily and Iain froze at the voice as they turned to the girl beside Lily.

"Hi," the girl with the pink hair smiled, "Lily, isn't it?"

"Hi Cinda," Lily smiled, "How are you?"

"About to have the most uncomfortable drug entering my system," Cinda joked, before noticing Iain, "Sorry, forget I said that! It's not uncomfortable at all."

"It's alright," Iain reassured her, "You must be Cinda. I've heard about the bass player in the band. My sister wants to learn."

"Your sister's got taste," Cinda smirked, before softening towards the two, "So, this means you're facing cancer as well?"

Lily and Iain looked at each other. It felt nice to have some banter around between cancer patients, it felt to them as if they weren't scared, or saddened, or annoyed that their lives have been impact on the treatment they would need to have, in order to survive.

It felt natural.

"Yeah," Iain sighed, taking Lily's hand, "But we can get through this."

"Yeah," Lily smiled as the nurse walks in with his observational chart, "We will."

* * *

"I didn't upset them!" Alicia insisted to Sam, "They were already distraught and who can blame them?"

Alicia couldn't believe what Sam was accusing her of! She would never upset anyone intentionally, and to be accused by Sam Nicholls (Of all people) was painful. Alicia felt as if the day went well, and that she made sure Iain and Lily felt as if they had a friend who would look out for them. There's no way, Alicia could have hurt someone. She wouldn't, especially if they had cancer.

"That's odd," Sam growled at her, "Because Lily told me on Saturday that someone went to see her and Iain! The pair were just having a casual argument over some stupid television show they were getting into when they were greeted by a friend!"

"Alicia," Cal pleaded with her, "We know you had something to do with them getting upset. Please just tell us what happened?"

"There's no need," Sam explained, "Lily told me that someone just straight away took over even the manual of tasks. Lily and Iain were forced to sit down, in their own home. It made them feel as if they couldn't look after themselves."

Alicia froze when Sam explained that. How? What? She didn't mean to upset anyone, she honestly thought she was doing a nice thing. Her grandfather was ill with cancer and he was grateful for the additional help he received. Alicia thought she was helping Lily and Iain, making the two feel comfortable. Instead she ended up taking charge of things, making the two feels, feel, feel.

"Oh my," Alicia breathed out, "I didn't mean to. I was only trying to help."

"Sometimes, just being there is enough," Cal reassured her, "I know you meant well Alicia, but it must have come out in a different way to Lily and Iain."

"But Lily's hair fell out," Alicia found that tears were forming in her eyes, "When we saw them, she was wearing a woolly hat."

"Lily and Iain made the mutual decision to shave it off," Ethan explained, "Lily's hair was falling out, so Iain made the decision to shave off bits of his hair to match," Ethan snorted at the memory, "He's basically making everyone else look bad."

"You only saw the cancer," Ruby sighed to Alicia, "A friend with cancer, is still a friend. Like my cousin, he's battling leukaemia but he refuses to let his illness define who he is. Sometimes, he's able to joke about it. Some may find it distasteful, but for Luke, it's a way of feeling normal."

Alicia looked at the new paramedic. She's only been here a couple of days, but she was confident and calming. Her non-judgmental approach seemed to have settled everyone down.

"Maybe you should have looked at Lily's finger, since Iain asked a question to her the night before," Ethan mentioned to Alicia, "They may not be a normal couple now, but let's be honest. They were never normal in the first place."

* * *

Iain had to admit; this didn't feel so bad so far. The main assumption he made that it would only be an hour having drugs through his veins were out the window. There was so much he didn't realise about having chemotherapy, especially checking for bloods and the observations as well. It felt and it did make him feel comfortable that the nurses wanted to make sure that he, Lily and Cinda were all safe.

"Why do these adverts keep popping up?" Cinda complains, setting her phone down, "It's the middle of November!"

"Christmas lights are on," Lily smirked at her, "Some people like to be early."

"You've done all your shopping already, haven't you?" Iain snorted.

"I'll put my hands up and admit I have," Lily sighed, "I've also done the people on your list as well. So, no need to worry."

"Those parcels were ordered by you," Iain chuckled, "Yeah, I'm not taking you to a switch on again."

"I thought you two were grown up," Cinda complained.

"Have you've read the Christmas Carol?" Lily asked her.

"Bah!" Cinda groaned, "Humbug!"

Lily and Iain couldn't hold it in, the pair found themselves laughing at her. It seemed to Iain that Cinda had warmed to the two of them just as they warmed to her. It was hard to believe that this pink haired girl was battling cancer as she didn't seem sad, or scared, or annoyed. She seemed to be taking everything into her stride, which made the experience more comfortable. Iain doubted they would have gotten along if it weren't for the news that they were all battling cancer.

It was as if they were brought together due to a mutual enemy.

* * *

Neither one of them said a word for a few hours.

It dawned on Gem that whilst Lily had told her mother that she had cancer, she failed to tell her the full story. Judging by the reaction on Mrs. Chao's face, Gem could really see her mother was deeply hurt by the secrecy. Gem suddenly thought about her own mother and the decision that she and Iain had made in not telling her about the cancer.

What would happen if she were to find out some other way?

"I'm really sorry about what has happened," Gem whispered, handing her a mug of tea, "I didn't know Lily never told you about what was happening."

"I've messed up completely," Mrs Chao whispered, "She's my daughter. Why did she feel the need to keep something like this from me?"

"Lily was clearly scared," Gem reassured her, "She did mention that Iain was the first guy she fell for that she wasn't sure you and her father would."

"That shouldn't matter," Mrs Chao explained, "I'm sorry Gem, but Lily's right. Iain wouldn't have been my first choice for my daughter's partner."

Gem was secretly hurt that Lily's mother would say that, when she first met her, she seemed okay that Lily was seeing someone, happy even!

"But that shouldn't matter to Lily at all," she sighed at Gem, "I don't have a say in who Lily goes for, and I shouldn't have a say at all. The only people who should say that Lily and Iain should be together, is them," Gem smiled at this statement, "I'm just hurt that Lily never told me! Oh God, she was losing her hair! I should have been there for her!"

"She chose to shave it off at the end," Gem whispered, taking her hand, "Iain stood by her side when she did it. In fact, he went and done it as well."

"I don't think your brother would be the one to just stand by and watch," Mrs Chao smiled at her, "Cancer or no cancer, he would have braved the look with her. How is he coping anyway?"

"The first session was today," Gem explained, "That's why he and Lily weren't in. I didn't know that you knew."

"I wish I did," Mrs Chao sighed, "I do want to thank you. You've not only helped support me, but you've also helped my daughter as well in the darkest of times. You're a strong lady, and I have a feeling, Iain is proud to have you as his little sister."

Gem felt the tears starting to fall from her eyes, it was so lovely to hear someone compliment her on her courage, her kindness, her heart. Gem thought that she would never be able to please anyone, she made so many mistakes before, it was unbelievable. Never in a million years, did she hear anyone telling her that she's doing a good job. Suddenly, the confidence begun to rise, and Gem has only now just noticed it.

"Thank you, Mrs Chao," Gem choked up.

"Gem," she squeezed her hand, "Please, Li-Na would do just fine."

* * *

"Okay," the nurse sat down with Iain and Lily, "Just to let you two know, you'll both be ready to go home. Iain, it is important that you inform us of any side effects such as sickness, so that we can provide the medication for you for the next time."

Lily and Iain both nodded at the statement, knowing that they were able to provide something for Lily after she reported to him that she felt sick during the treatment. The pair were unsure over how they were going to get home, knowing that they've walked it to the clinic, now they need to see about booking transport to get home.

Lily's phone suddenly went, and she froze when she saw the message from Alicia.

 _Sam told me what happened. I'm sorry for what I did, that was the last thing you and Iain needed Xx_

How did Sam work out it was Alicia who visited the two? It didn't matter as Lily was secretly annoyed with the paramedic for interfering when she pleaded with her not to say anything. The trust she had given to Sam and she betrayed it by going off at Alicia. That was why Lily never told her who it was. Was anyone else there to witness this? Lily seriously hoped not.

"You okay?" Iain asked her.

"I need to have words with Sam," Lily frowned, "I told her what happened, and she flipped at Alicia! I told her she meant no harm!"

"Hang on," Iain questioned, "How did she work out it was Alicia? I thought you kept the name anonymous?"

"I did," Lily whispered, the fear building up.

"Don't panic," Iain reassured her, taking her hand, "You heard what the nurse said. It's important to look after yourself. How about, when we get home, we'll put on those tree lights, put Netflix on and snuggle on the sofa?"

"No thanks," Lily insisted, "I'd rather watch Dara goes 8 Bit! I really want to watch those players fail."

"Sounds alright to me," Iain smiled, pulling her into his arms, when he noticed a car pulling up beside him as the door opened, "Although I think we'll be having some visitors."

Lily pulled away from Iain as the confusion rose within her. Carefully turning herself around in Iain's arms, she came face to face with the woman in question. Her eyes were filled with sadness, something Lily hasn't seen since her father passed away.

"Mother?" Lily whispered in her mother tongue, unable to picture her mother looking at her.

"Daughter," she sobbed in Chinese, running to her daughter, stroking her face and taking a glance at Iain, "I know about Iain. Why didn't you tell me?"

Iain froze when he heard his name. The pain in Lily's mother's eyes, it was clear she worked out that he was ill as well. How did she find out about this? He thought that they were both extremely careful about it! The fear has now risen in his veins now…

…only to relax when he felt his future mother-in-law wrap her arms around him.

* * *

 **Just a warning about the next chapter, it'll be another Christmas chapter as I'm aiming to continue with the story. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Another filler chapter, the final chapter I'll do surrounding Christmas.**

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

Ethan felt completely nervous, he felt as if his blood was travelling through his body at a faster pace than usual. It was as if Connie knew that she would be making him nervous, the moment she decided to leave the bad news to him and Sam to deliver. It didn't sink into the doctor, and it made matters worse that the two people they had to break the news to, were both blissfully unaware.

Ethan turned to Sam, who finally managed to calm herself down, the moment she heard the news. She watched the window with intent, noticing that poor Louise was using the alcohol gel for the third time within the hour. Everyone weren't taking any chances she found, partially when the first case was brought in by her and Ruby none the less. It also ruined her chances to catch up with their friends, who are now being told the bad news about tonight.

"Okay Ethan," Cal breathed as he quickly covered the coin with the palm of his hand, "You call it?"

"Heads," Ethan sighed, still annoyed that they left the bad news to them.

"That means I'm Tails then," Sam muttered.

Cal watched the two of them, secretly heartbroken for them both. Personally, he can't understand why Connie didn't just postpone the Christmas party. If there was a flu outbreak, wouldn't everyone decide it'd be safe to just hold it off, especially with the news that everyone had the flu vaccine? It doesn't seem fair that Iain and Lily must be uninvited to the party, just because of the outbreak to keep them safe.

It also wasn't fair of Connie to leave breaking the bad news to Sam and Ethan.

"Okay," Cal removed his hand as Ethan and Sam watched with intent to reveal the face of the Queen.

* * *

"You didn't go to the chemo session?" Gem asked Lily, startled to learn that it was only Iain who went this week.

"I have to go in for six cycles," Lily explained to her, "Each cycle consists of three doses of chemotherapy. One dose a week."

"Lily's already completed one cycle," Iain explained to Gem, settling down next to Lily, "Her next dose is next week. That's when I'll be taking a break, even your body needs to rest."

"I thought it'd be a straight fix," Gem sighed, "Proves how little I know about cancer."

Lily pulled Gem into her arms, of course she feels guilty. The poor thing will be dealing with news that treatment isn't as quick as it possibly could. Gem was told of the side effects that chemotherapy could have on someone, she didn't know that there were measures that would need to be taken to ensure that the recovery is safe.

"Anyway," Lily smiled getting up, "I should be getting ready for tonight. I can't wait to see everyone for the Christmas party."

Gem smiled at the excitement. Of course, Lily was getting excited about the gathering at work, she hadn't seen everyone in a month, and she was looking forward to hearing the news that she has missed. Iain was also ready for a night free of any stress regarding work, treatment or the shock that he had somehow gained the approval of Lily's mother (something that Gem isn't really surprised to hear).

"Something changed in her," Gem looked at Iain, "I thought Christmas parties aren't her thing."

"They're not," Iain answered, "But after everything that has happened, she's just wanting to relax a little bit. Plus, I think she wants to show the ring off."

"Figures," Gem giggled, "But if I've had a ring like the one you've used, I'd want to show it off too."

"Nice try," Iain glared at her, "Not telling you what I've got you."

"You don't know, and you let Lily pick it out, didn't you?" Gem bluntly accused her brother.

"No," Iain lied, looking away from his sister.

"You did!" Gem laughed at him.

Iain was about to deny everything, but he was suddenly saved by the ring tone! He looked over at the phone, although annoyed that it was Sam (He wasn't entirely forgiving over what happened between her and Alicia). Taking a deep breath, he answered the phone, a bit relieved that Sam did save him from scrutiny.

"Hi Iain," Sam whispered, "How is everything?"

"It's good thanks," Iain answered, "You've just saved me from interrogation. Gem was about to accuse me of letting Lily buy her present."

"You did though," Sam mentioned, "I was there when she ordered it."

He didn't know what was happening, but Iain begun to realise that Sam was trying to delay something. It was as if Sam needed to tell him something but is trying to find a way out of doing so.

"Something's happened, hasn't it?" Iain asked her, "Sam you can tell me."

"Okay I did try to tell them they were being unreasonable," Sam explained, "Ethan tried as well, but it was no use. They wouldn't listen!"

* * *

Lily hung two options on her wardrobe door. The first option was a black knee-high dress, with a red waistline around it. The second was a navy dress, with a white collar and white seems at the bottom of the skirt. Lily made the decision to go for the navy dress, deciding it would look nice with her bleach blonde wig. Placing the black and red dress into the wardrobe, she made the decision to get ready in an hour for the party. No need to rush.

* * *

"Thank you for trying."

Iain placed the phone on the table, resting his head in his hands. This wasn't fair at all, three cases of influenza, and now he and Lily are now no longer able to go to the staff Christmas party. This was unfair! It could be the last chance they get to go enjoy Christmas, and they've been excluded from the festivities.

"What's wrong?" Gem asked.

"There's been three cases of flu within the hospital," Iain explained, "Because of that, I've just been told that me and Lily can't go to the party."

"That's not fair!" Gem shouted, standing up, "If you two can't go, then I won't, simple as."

Iain looked up, alarmed at his sister's maturity. He couldn't believe she was willing to sacrifice the opportunity to have a laugh because he and Lily were told that they shouldn't go in the first chance. It was bad enough that cancer was ruining both his and Lily's lives, but it shouldn't wreck the lives for Gem, Ethan, Sam or anyone else that they're close to for that matter.

"No," Iain tells her, "You're still going. I can understand that no one wants to take chances with us getting ill. It shouldn't stop you from missing out."

"But there's a risk I could pick something up," Gem insisted, "I could put you and Lily at risk!"

"Sam did say that you can stay with her to be safe," Iain explained, "Not that I'm kicking you out or anything."

"Doesn't sound like it," Gem muttered, "Has anyone told Lily?"

"Told me what?"

Iain and Gem turned to see Lily adjusting her blonde wig, clearly happy she made the decision on picking out what to wear. Iain felt bitter with Sam, at least she had a chance she could have gotten out of telling the bad news (Ethan apparently cheated with the coin). Now he must be the one to break the bad news to Lily.

"Iain?" Lily whispered, fearful.

"Sam was on the phone," Iain sighed, "There's been an outbreak of flu at work."

"Let me guess," Lily muttered, "They decided that the news would be best broken by either Ethan or Sam and they'd flip to see who had to tell us we can't go."

"If you can't go," Gem insisted, "I won't go!"

"Thanks Gem," Lily smiled, "But you should still go. Don't miss out because of us."

"Good try," Iain smirked at Gem, "I know this sounds unfair, but you've had a lot on. And we haven't exactly been helpful."

"It's not your fault," Gem insisted.

"Some of it was," Iain mentioned, "We've should have told you we weren't completely honest with Lily's mum. How did you get her to accept me anyway?"

"She's admitted who Lily dates is none of her business," Gem mentioned, "But I really don't want you two to miss out."

"We know," Lily mentioned, "But we don't need to have a big party anyway. We'll just have a quiet night in, just the two of us."

Gem felt conflicted. This was clearly not fair that Iain and Lily must miss out on something that they may not have the chance to do again. She didn't want to think about it, but she's scared that she could lose one or both to the cruellest thing possible, but there they are, insisting she doesn't miss out on living her life, just because of them. Feeling guilty, she weighed up her options, deciding that she really doesn't want to miss out on the party. It soon dawned on her that Iain and Lily knew this, which was why they were insistent on her going.

"Fine," Gem sighed, "Only because I don't want to miss it. I'll take up on Sam's offer."

"Thank you," Iain smiled, hugging her, "Please remember just because we have cancer, doesn't mean you should have to put your life on hold for us."

* * *

"Have you two decided who was giving them the bad news?" Charlie asked Sam and Ethan as he walked into the ambulance station.

"We flipped for it," Ethan muttered, feeling guilty that Lily and Iain were missing out on the party.

"I lost," Sam muttered, hating herself for delivering the bad news, "I called Iain, he took it well. I think he told Lily straight away."

Charlie sighed, knowing that it's not fair for Iain and Lily to miss out on the celebrations for Christmas. But when he heard Jan and Connie discuss the options, he was shocked to learn that they were discussing several options, one of which that included cancelling the party overall. Charlie thought that would be the best option, since if someone did catch the flu, they could risk putting others at risk of becoming seriously ill.

It was unfortunate that Connie and Jan brought everyone to a meeting to discuss the fate of the party. Charlie knew that the moment this was discussed that no one wanted the party to be cancelled. As a result of this meeting, Connie and Jan made the decision to have the party, but to reduce the risk by telling Lily and Iain not to come.

To make matters worse, Connie then made the decision to leave breaking the news to the best friends of the couple. Charlie wanted to argue, but Connie then left straight away.

"This isn't fair," Sam sighed, walking to the ambulance, "I think I'm going to give the night a miss."

"Me too," Ethan muttered, "Parties aren't normally my thing. I only agreed to go because Lily was going."

"It's up to you two," Jan mentioned walking into the station, "But I had a message from Iain. Gem nearly blew off going as well. Maybe you two should go together."

"No way," Ethan muttered.

"Sorry Jan," Sam sighed, "It's a nice thought. But I've already upset Alicia, I nearly ruined one relationship. I don't want to cause problems for another."

"Me and Alicia are okay," Ethan smiled, "I made time for her. What was going off between us was a lot different for Lily and Iain. Besides, I think Iain misses Lily feeling uncomfortable around you," Ethan chuckled, "Now you've two became best friends. I think Iain is more scared that anything Lily tells you; you'll rub in his face."

Sam giggled at that. Ethan was right, she wasn't a bother towards anyone. And right now, they need a break between work, worrying and training for the fun run.

"Okay," Sam smiled, "Why don't the two of us go together? We'll let Gem join us as well."

* * *

"I'm sorry you're stuck with me for the night," Iain sighed, placing two mugs of coffee on the table, "You had your heart set on going to that party."

"Don't worry about it," Lily sighed, taking one of the mugs, "It wouldn't be my cup of tea anyway."

"You were excited about it," Iain mentioned to her, realising why she was down, "You just wanted to forget what was happening. Didn't you?"

"Yeah," Lily explained, "This party was going to be a nice distraction. Plus, we never got a chance to properly announce our engagement."

"Maybe next time," Iain suggested, pulling Lily into his arms, "Next party, we can tell everyone."

"Sounds good," Lily breathed into his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, soothing her after each drum.

The pair stayed in companionable silence, when they suddenly heard the buzzer going off. Lily and Iain quickly broke away, they weren't expecting anyone, were they? No one ordered anything. No one arranged to come and visit. No one was even going carol singing. Cautiously, Lily stood up, taking the steps to the front door. She peered through the peephole, startled to see who it was.

Breaking away, Lily opened the door, amazed that she has come face to face with two people, she'd never thought she'd see again.

"Dr Ashford?" Lily gasped in amazement, "Dixie?"

"You looked startled Lily," Dixie beamed before frowning, "Is this a bad time? You look as if you're heading somewhere."

Lily suddenly remembered, that in the commotion, she hasn't taken her blonde wig off. The wig liner that she got made wearing the itchy wig more comfortable, and now she feels more comfortable wearing it. She hasn't even removed the plait at the side, as it made the look feel more natural that way.

"We were," Lily mentioned, "But our plans had since changed. You'd better come in, it's freezing out."

* * *

Jan kept her eyes peeled to the sky; each star went brighter as the Christmas period approaches. Taking her time, she often wondered which star George's was and where the star was in the sky.

" _Each bright star is a soul up in heaven," he always told her, "Each dim star is waiting for their soul to come to them."_

Jan didn't want to believe that, especially when George told her this, three days before she had the dreaded phone call from her sister-in-law. He was five years older, he helped looked after her when she started school, then attended her graduation after she completed her training. Those words her brother said took place, ten years and three days ago.

Jan didn't want to go to the party, not considering what happened all those years ago. George was looking forward to spending his last Christmas with his wife as well as young Melody as well. Jan even made plans to take her children to go and visit them, despite knowing how weak George was.

Taking George's word into account broke Jan completely as she wanted to forgive him, she really did, but she couldn't forget.

"You okay?" Ruby walked next to her.

"I'm okay," Jan sighed, "Just been emotional. You're not going to the party?"

"Actually," Ruby sighed, "I'm going to visit my cousin, he's been in for a bone marrow transplant."

"Is this his first time?" Jan sympathised with her.

"First time," Ruby explained, "It isn't fair. He's young and he has so much of his life to look forward to. He had the leukaemia in the early stages, but now the symptoms are getting worse. But he's cracking jokes about the condition. I don't understand that."

"I think I do," Jan explained to her, "I lost a brother to cancer, and I'm not sure if you've heard about a paramedic and a doctor in the ED. They've been diagnosed with cancer, but according to their close friends, they haven't stopped laughing and joking. It's their way of coping with the illness."

"I think I've met the paramedic," Ruby explained, "Two days before he went in, my cousin and I went to a coffee shop, he started talking to this guy who was also battling cancer. In fact, he gave me one piece of advice."

"Was it 'Don't wind anyone up before they had their coffee?'" Jan chuckled as Ruby nodded, "Sounds like something he would say."

* * *

"First off," Dixie smiled as she and Ash settled down, "The ring! Jan hasn't told me that part."

"I haven't told her yet," Iain mentioned, "We don't know how many people knew about that."

Lily must admit, it felt strange seeing Ash and Dixie again, especially as they were both civil this time. Lily remembered the day of the accident, Jeff gave his life to help Ash and whilst he was able to get out, Jeff was caught up in the crossfire. Dixie hated Ash since then and although they've made peace, they still haven't moved past what has happened.

How did they end up talking to each other?

It couldn't have something to do with what has happened, could it?

"We've only told my mother a few weeks ago," Lily explained, sitting next to Iain.

"Have you've got a date planned?" Ash asked them both.

Iain and Lily looked at each other. What can they say to anyone? This Christmas, the two promised to celebrate it as if it would be their last? Is that how they were going to treat everything. What mattered to the two of them now, was to fight cancer and beat it! But what would happened if they did beat cancer? If, being the strong word. The two agreed to wait until their treatment is over before, but if they were treating Christmas as if it would be their last, how long would they have left?

"We haven't thought about it," Iain mentioned.

"We wanted to wait until after treatment is over," Lily sighed, "But we planned to treat this Christmas as if it would be our last. I know what it sounds like."

"Like you want to make it special," Ash smiled at the two, "That doesn't sound bad at all."

"It sounds like you don't want to waste any more time," Dixie smiled as well, "I think this proved life is too short."

"I guess we do need to start planning for it," Lily whispered, "There are so much I wanted to do, I felt as if I wasted time."

"Like what?" Ash asked her.

Lily thought about it. When she was younger, she always wants to see the world, travel to new places. See the world through her own eyes and not through photographs. She never told this to anyone, even Iain doesn't know about this. Did she put herself under that much pressure to be a consultant and make her father proud, she forgot about the things that she wanted to do outside of work?

The words she remembered Iain telling her still stuck in her mind.

" _There's more to life than work."_

"I've always wanted to see the world," Lily explained, "To go and explore the world. Egypt, America, Thailand. I've wanted to see the world through my own eyes."

"You never told me that," Iain mentioned.

"You never asked," Lily explained, "I've wanted to do that as a child. But, but."

"You were forced to make work a priority," Ash suspected, "So you put your dreams to one side."

"Something I've regretted," Lily sighed, "I never told anyone that. When I started dating Iain, I've found that my dream to travel the world could one day be a reality. Only, I never dared say anything."

"Lily that sounds amazing," Iain explained, "I've wanted to do that, that's why I joined the army."

"Sounds like you two got a plan once the treatment is over," Dixie smiled.

* * *

The party was in full swing, making Ethan and Sam feel uncomfortable that not one person had thought about the two people that they've practically forced to miss out at the party. Ethan watched as Alicia was gossiping with Louise, that she has forgotten that he was in the room.

He felt left out, would have done if Cal and Sam hadn't joined him.

"Gem is in the corner talking to Rash," Sam giggled, "He mentioned his parents are away, so it's a nice night in for the two."

"Don't tell Iain that," Ethan chuckled.

"Right," Cal smirked, "I'm going to get us drinks, I'll be back shortly."

Ethan and Sam watched as Cal walked over to the bar, determined to get drinks so that Ethan and Sam are okay.

"Ethan," Sam asked, "Is there anything that your brother might like for Christmas?"

"Why?" Ethan smirked, "Has he really made that lasting impression on you?"

"He might have done," Sam muttered under her breath, "I've been wanting to ask him out again."

"What is stopping you?" Ethan mentioned, "I've never seen Cal mad about anyone. I'll even walk away to give you some privacy."

"Ethan," Sam pleaded, "What if I make an idiot out of myself?"

"You'll be fine," Ethan smiled, "Besides, I want to speak to Alicia. I haven't seen much of her tonight."

* * *

Iain and Lily couldn't believe that they've done that! The two of them have made their first plan for after their treatment is over. To travel the world sounds incredible, and Lily can already feel the sand between her toes as they walked along the seaside. The thought sounds amazing, so much that they may announce their notices straight away.

"Do you think it's a good idea?" Iain asked Dixie, "That once the treatment is over, we go travelling around the world?"

"I think it's a great idea," Dixie answered him in the kitchen, "Iain, I'm jealous of this right now. The chance to see the world. How many people get that opportunity?"

"What if?"

"No ifs," Dixie smiled, "I don't mind helping you with this plan. And I'm sure Jan and everyone else would be supportive of this decision."

"Would they?" Iain asked, "Some people would think we're taking a risk."

"Others would believe that you want to make the most of life," Dixie explained, "I know if it was me, I wouldn't want to waste any time to do the things that I've wanted to do."

Iain looked at Lily who clearly talking to Ash. He wondered if Lily had been having the same doubts, he was having about travelling around the world. If someone fell ill suddenly, they'd be in trouble since the medical bills would be high. And their immune systems would be compromised at first with their treatment.

But would they regret not taking that opportunity?

"I think we might need more time to think about it," Iain whispered.

* * *

"Hey Alicia," Ethan walked over to her and Louise.

"Hey," Alicia turned to him and smiled, knowing he had left Sam's side to be with her, "How did Iain and Lily take it?"

"I think it was the right call," Louise mentioned, "I'm sure Lily and Iain would be exhausted with the treatment, beside there'll be drinking involved. It's the last thing they want."

Ethan ignored this comment, knowing that Louise was one of the members of staff who've objected against cancelling the party, along with Alicia and a few other nurses. He knew not to argue against her, he didn't want to cause problems between the two of them.

"They'll be back for the party next year," Ethan mentioned but he found himself ignored, as Alicia didn't hear him.

Ethan thought nothing of it, especially since the music in the background is blocking the sound of distance conversations. He turned to Sam, who was beaming the moment Cal walked over to the table, asking a question only for Sam to explain, something. The music was blocking the conversation, so he was unsure if Sam was plucking up the courage to ask his brother out, or if she was trying to change the conversation like she did breaking the news to Iain.

"Still," Alicia mentioned, "I know it sounds unfair. This could be the last Christmas they'll have."

Ethan froze. Does Alicia really think that? Didn't she hear what he just said? Was she ignoring him on purpose, just to hurt him?

"Anyway," Alicia changed the subject, "Let's forget about it for the time being! Let's go grab a drink Louise!"

Ethan watched as Alicia and Louise walked away from him and over to the bar. He couldn't believe how different Alicia is being throughout the whole night. It was as if he didn't matter so long as she was enjoying herself. It's not fair, he knows he's being selfish, but he wished Lily was at the party, then there was someone that he had in common that he would be able to talk to.

He decided to go outside with his phone, knowing it'll be nice to talk to Lily. The cold air was enough to clear his mind, taking away the negative experience. Maybe Lily hasn't taken the news as well as he thought, so maybe hearing that he was having a rubbish time would provide some comfort for her.

Ethan dialled for Lily's number, only for him to notice that there was no answer. The phone kept on ringing, and ringing, and ringing, but still no answer. Ethan was terrified, was Lily not happy with him for not being courageous about telling her she couldn't go? Was she upset about the process of not being able to do the things that she would love to do? Or was she down to the point where she cried herself to sleep?

Ethan thought about Alicia, was he really spending too much time with his brother's crush? Or was Alicia scared because this wouldn't have been the first time, he shown interest in his brother's crush?

* * *

"Okay," Ash smiled, holding onto the controller, "I think I've got the aim of this now. So, all I have to do is knock the other players out of the battlefield?"

"Exactly," Lily instructed, holding onto her pink controller, hoping her character will do her proud, "The most hits you take, the more at risk you'll be at being knocked out."

"So long as we wipe the smirk of Iain's face, I'm happy," Dixie smirked to Iain's glare, "Sorry, but you gloat. A lot."

The game loaded up, showing four characters on the platform before the one word is called out.

" _Fight!"_

Three of the fighters started to throw punches at each other, not taking notice of the woman in the robot suit who was able to shoot a homing device at one of them.

"Go easy on me Lily!" Ash called at her, "Remember I'm new to this!"

"Sorry, I was aiming for Mega Man," Lily beamed, "So long as I knock him out once, I'm happy!"

"Is this gang up on Iain day?" Iain moaned at them, "I haven't had this abuse in a while!"

"You always gloat when you win!" Lily shouted, seeing the sword, "Good luck avoiding this!"

Iain frowned the moment Samus threw Mega Man out of the field. Iain knew teaching Lily how to play this game would come back and haunt him, but he felt pleased that she had now fully grasped the gameplay, since she was now able to give everyone else a run for their money.

It was at that moment Iain noticed that Samus was slowing down on her gameplay, not being quick with her move set as she was doing the gameplay. He himself also found that his character was slowing down as well, despite being on full health after being thrown out of the battlefield. His eye lids have even dropped slightly, noticing that Lily had moved closer to him the moment he opened them slightly. The controller suddenly fell on the floor, but Iain's empty hand found Lily's, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Come on Iain!" Dixie called, "Don't give in."

"Dixie?"

Dixie frowned at Ash before she looked past him.

Both Iain and Lily's controllers have fell on the floor, being replaced with each other's hands. Their eyes were firmly shut, the only sounds coming from the two were their breathing. They looked peaceful in their slumber, neither one of them stirring. Dixie felt as if she was intruding on a peaceful moment between the two.

"I think we should leave them," Ash smiled at the picture, "They've been through so much. They need this rest."

"Definitely," Dixie smiled, noticing a red and white blanket, taking a hold of it before draping the blanket over the two of them, "Where are their keys?" she whispered to Ash, "We can lock up for the two."

"I'll write them a note," Ash offered, taking a pen and paper before resting it on the table.

"What do you think they'll be dreaming of?" Dixie asked him.

"I reckon, it'll be the thought of being on a hot beach," Ash smiled, "Sand within their toes."

"Or even at the airport," Dixie hinted, "Most love stories often end there."

"Yeah," Ash smiled, setting the note on the table.

" _We'll let you sleep. Just remember, we're here if you two need someone to talk to. No one needs to be alone throughout the battle. We'll fight alongside you."_

* * *

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Another filler chapter. I've been wanting to add more moments for Lily and Iain, and decided that a snow themed chapter would be the good idea to add one.**

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

As a child, Lily loved the snow.

It was the perfect excuse to wear her fluffy mahogany coat with the tartan green fabric on the inside. The snow was the perfect opportunity for her mother's mug of hot chocolate to warm her blood, making her feel refreshed. Winter weather was also a breath of fresh air, with the snow making the scenery feel magical, as if Lily was living a real-life fairy tale.

It was also another reason why Lily also wished she was a bird as a child. Since their bodies become puffier like their coats, their bodies heat can warm the air between their feathers, so they never feel cold. It also allowed the birds to huddle together within a tree branch, finding easy access to shelter. Lily felt that way, she would have been able to help others keep warm, also providing comfort and being within good company.

Looking at the weather now, sadness threatened to take over. How long will the next snow fall take? Weeks? Months? A year?

Would she be around to see the next snow fall?

"Lily?" she turned around to find Iain with two mugs of hot chocolate.

Wrapping her cold fingers around one of the mugs, Lily inhaled as she felt the blood rushing back into her fingers the moment her hands touched the mug. She carefully placed her lips on the rim of the mug, allowing the aroma of the cocoa intoxicate her senses. How did she not realise Iain had gotten better at making them?

"Thank you," Lily smiled at him, before turning to the window, "It looks amazing. I can't take my eyes off it. Not for one minute."

"You sure you're not an Ice Queen?" Iain snorted to which Lily giggled, "Sorry I, destroyed the moment."

Iain and Lily were both careful to avoid the word 'death' as well as other words that associated with it. When they made plans to go travelling together, that was a promise to each other. A promise that they will do whatever they can to survive cancer or die trying. It felt strange that goal was put into place, but Lily couldn't believe that it's now in place, even with the treatment. It was also a motivator for her to not give up, to do all she can to secure that future.

But mentioning the word 'death', it would have destroyed all ounces of hope the two of them shared about their future.

"How did you get this tasting amazing?" Lily asked him, "This is the best I've ever tasted."

"Hey," Iain glared at her, "I can do wonders for this!"

"Iain?"

"Your mother gave me the recipe," Iain admitted.

"She really likes you," Lily giggled, "She wouldn't give it to just anyone."

"I'm charmed," Iain smiled, before grabbing another chair beside her, "You're not feeling cold either, are you?"

"No," Lily admits, "I wished I was, another sign of feeling normal. I wish I could go out there, but being told, 'Don't put your health at risk'."

"It's not fair," Iain wrapped an arm around her, as the two watched the snow fall, "But let's remind ourselves this. It'll be over."

"Yeah," Lily smiled at the snow, before standing up to walk to the sofa.

Iain followed her over to the sofa, as he pulls his hat down to cover his ears. Looking at Lily, pulling her own hat down and taking her phone off the coffee table. It was a quiet day for the two of them, their next chemotherapy session was tomorrow, and Gem was currently working a long day before going out with Rash. Just the two of them in the flat, not a single sound was made. There wasn't much on the television either, it was times like this the two wished they were at work.

"I don't mind putting something random on," Lily suggested, "Gives us something more to look at."

"You can do," Iain smiled, pulling her in his arms, "Maybe there's something decent."

"If not, should we watch more of Riverdale?" Lily suggested, "Maybe it could be something to do on quiet days."

"Please tell me you haven't been watching episodes when I'm not around," Iain glared at her, "We promised we'd watch them together."

"Oh, like you haven't broken that vow yourself!" Lily complained.

"I haven't!" Iain argued back, "And the fact that you don't trust me is insulting."

"Then how come the Arrow season 1 boxset has a disc from season 2?" Lily crossed her arms, smirking when Iain couldn't give a response, "Busted."

"Okay one time!"

"Iain?"

"Alright three," Iain muttered under his breath, "It was your fault in the first place, you kept egging on for more episodes."

"We had the night and the next day off," Lily reminded, before she couldn't stop herself.

Iain couldn't blame her, it was funny how easy it is to get caught up on something, they had to debate on it. It was those silly arguments that the two of them enjoy, making them feel like an ordinary couple. Not once was the word 'health' mentioned within that argument. It was a welcome distraction for the two as they began laughing together with their own silliness.

"How did this all start?" Lily giggled.

"Not a clue," Iain chuckled, as he felt Lily's arms wrap around him, snuggling closer, "Let's see what's on."

Iain grabbed the remote, flicking through the channels. Already everyone was talking about one thing only. With schools closing due to horrible conditions, children were spotted going toboggining, taking part in races. Snowball fights were started as people were covered in snow, whilst snowmen were also built.

"At least others are having fun," Iain chuckled, "Some of the snowmen looked well presented. That can't have been easy."

"I never built one," Lily whispered, to Iain's shock.

"Never?"

"My father made me study on snow days," Lily explained, "He made me study with books that we have so that I don't fall behind when school closes."

"That's no childhood," Iain mentioned, "So you never once made a snowman?"

"No," Lily mentioned, "It would have been nice to build one."

Iain felt torn. On the one hand, he knew he'd be taking a huge risk with both his health and her health. They've been told not to take any unnecessary chances with their health. If he decided to take Lily out into the snow, they could be putting themselves at risk of seriously becoming ill. That was the measures Connie put them through with the Christmas party, when the flu outbreak had hit the ED.

However, looking at the window, Iain knew that it would be a while before the next snow fall. Months, years, maybe. Their lives are now completely different because of their illness, not to mention the next snow fall, they won't see as they'll be in a different country. So why should Lily miss out of the opportunity to build a snowman.

With that in mind, Iain quickly jumped out of the sofa. He knew that they could take a warm shower once they got back in to feel warm again as well as a change in clothes. Walking over to the coat rack, he found his and Lily's coats and scarfs. He walked over with Lily's coat, placing it next to her, to her confusion.

"What's this?" Lily asked him, taking her coat.

"We're going outside," Iain smiled at her, "You're going to build your first snowman."

"What happened to don't take any risks?" she asked him.

"What happened to last chances?" Iain asked her back, "When will you have this opportunity again? This time next year, we'll be out of the country. We could have Sam and Ethan posting photos of them out in the snow and where could we be?"

"We could be in Australia, swimming with sharks," Lily hinted.

"Snow doesn't happen in Australia," Iain chuckled, "And you have a point, we could be anywhere."

Lily couldn't believe Iain was suggesting something that crazy, but the madness didn't come from his suggestion. Or the decision to ignore what Iain had said about not risking going out. Or that Iain never seemed to stop surprising her.

It came from Lily not wanting to object the crazy suggestion.

"You're a terrible influence," Lily smiled as she slid her arms into the sleeve of her red coat, "But a welcome one."

Iain smiled at her, as she pulled her boots on. It was amazing to see her being excited over something that was completely small, like the weather. All comments aside, the two both knew that it could rain even during the summer, but snow only happens during cold periods. Not to mention that they haven't seen a single snow fall last year, so this is a special moment for the two.

When Lily made her first step onto the snow, she felt her feet sink to the ground. How many inches did the snow reach onto the back garden? The snow felt as soft as a pillow, fluffy as well. If it wasn't so cold, Lily would have happily spent her entire life outside. Cold air was just as refreshing as it touched her flustered face. It was a perfect haven to see Iain out as well.

"Right," Iain grinned, "First thing we need is a massive ball of snow. Help me push some into a ball, we can use that for the base."

Lily smiled at him, kneeling to help him out. It feels nice that Iain is teaching her how to do something practical. Feeling the cold snow on her knees, Lily picked up more snow, adding it on to the snowman, making the base as high to her waist.

"Okay, do we need another one for the middle?" Lily asked.

"For someone who has never built one, you know your stuff," Iain smiled at her, "Yeah, I'll work on the middle. If you could, make a ball half the size of the base. Make sure you have holes in for the eyes, nose and mouth."

Lily went to a patch and collected snow just for the head. Eager, she found a good amount of snow, scooping it up from the ground and rolling it into a ball. She quickly noticed the green grass trail that she was leaving behind. Ignoring this, she lifted the ball, smiling when she saw a slightly smaller ball, resting on the base.

"How did it take you a short time?" Lily asked, so close to dropping the ball and smashing it.

"I spent my snow days building snowballs," Iain smirked, taking the snowball before Lily could drop it, resting it on top of the middle base, "Perfect."

Iain took a step back, amazed by the work of art he and Lily had created. He can see the facial features that Lily had created from the head of the snowman. Grabbing his phone from his trouser pocket, he smiled as he took the photo. Taking a good look, he felt proud of their teamwork.

Iain's focus was cut short, when he felt something knock him forward on his back. Stepping forward to avoid falling into the snow, he turned to face Lily, standing as if butter wouldn't melt. Oh, he knew what she just did, her face may spell out innocent, but the snow on her glove spelt guilty. Another giveaway was that she had another snowball in her hand.

Iain wasn't going to let Lily get away with that!

"You're going to wish you never did that!" Iain declared, picking up snow from the ground.

Only for Lily to catch him off guard with another snowball, causing his snow to fall on the ground.

"Funny, I wish I had a third snowball," Lily laughed at him.

"Oh," Iain took a deep breath as he picked up the snow he dropped, "You're asking for it now."

* * *

Iain settled himself down on the sofa after a warm shower, determined to keep himself and Lily warm after their fun hour out in the snow. Noticing Lily had gone into the kitchen, he put on the television, hoping to put on the latest episode of Riverdale, ready for them to watch together (Although he suspect that she broke their promise as well). Hearing the kitchen door open, he smiled when he saw Lily walk into the sitting room, two mugs of hot chocolate in hand.

"Thank you," he smiled at her, chuckling at himself, "I know next snowball fight, I can call on you for reinforcements."

"Yeah," Lily smiled, "Sorry for that. I couldn't resist."

"I could tell," Iain laughed, "You can be a big kid when you want to be."

"I spent most of my childhood looking at the snow, wishing I could join in," Lily sighed, "All I wanted was to have fun as a child. But I was forced to make school a priority. I guess I'm trying to make up for the childhood I never had."

Iain felt his heart sink for her, it can't have been easy for her to miss out on all the fun things that he took for granted as a child.

"Anyway," Lily turned to him, "What's your excuse?"

Iain laughed at Lily breaking the sad moment, "To be honest, I never grew up. You have so much more fun being childish."

Lily giggled at him, moving herself to be closer to him. The warmth she felt from him, relaxed her gently. She felt his heartbeat, beating to the regular rhythm, taking her mind off all the stresses that have been occurring in her life. The drumbeat, was relaxing her, taking her to a calming realm of paradise.

"Iain," Lily whispered, "Can we have more moments like today? When we can feel as if we can do anything?"

"We will do," he whispered back, wrapping his arms around her, "Whether we get better or are still fighting, we will do. I promise."

"You broke the last promise," Lily reminded him, "To be honest, so did I."

"I knew you couldn't resist Riverdale," Iain smirked at her, "Please don't spoil anything to me. Promise?"

"Only if you keep those episodes of Arrow hidden from me," Lily smiled into him.

"I promise," Iain smiled, hugging her into him, kissing the skin from the top of her head, "I promise."

* * *

The duvet felt so warm, that Lily was scared that once she untangled herself, the cold air could hit her again. She can feel her blood travel all around her veins and arteries, keeping her body warm. Her pillows also provided a sense of warmth towards her skin as she rested her head against them. Another source of body heat came from the contact from her finance's hand, allowing them to share each other's body heat.

Just like how the birds share their body heat against the cold.

"This is a random question," Iain whispered, "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"That is a random question," Lily giggled turning to face him, "Why do you ask?"

"It was something I've seen on television," Iain explained, "Basically there's this person and when they die, they can pass on and reincarnate into another person. It's like the happiest day in one family is the saddest day for another."

"Makes sense," Lily whispered, "I was once told this one phrase, 'A flower doesn't grow without a little rain.' Sometimes if given the chance, new and improved discoveries are uncovered by the generations that are left behind."

"I'm never religious," Iain mentioned, "But I sometimes wonder what would happen if anything were to happen. Would we go somewhere? Or would we be reborn as something else?"

"Like our spirit is passed on to someone else," Lily smiled, moving closer to Iain, "It sounds like people could never die."

"It doesn't even have to be another human being," Iain explains, "Which means that you and me, we could become birds."

"So now the idea of being a bird is appealing?" Lily smirked at him, "Okay, what convinced you?"

Iain didn't answer her, but Lily knew what he meant as he pulled her into his arms, allowing her to rest her head on his chest. She listened carefully as she took in his steady heartbeat, beating for every time she took a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Not failing to notice she was drawing with her finger a pattern on the back of his neck which was like the pattern he was drawing along her spine.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"If there is any time you want to feel like a little child," Iain whispered, "Let me know, and we'll find something together."

"Thank you," Lily smiled, rest her hand on his cheek, kissing the side of his neck, before his soft lips.

Even though Lily felt happy with moments like this, there is still a glint of sadness within the environment. With Iain's heartbeat soothing her, allowing her to fall asleep gently and within a loving environment and the warmth of the duvet hugging the two, Lily knew that these moments are the happiest moments of her life.

Sadly, for Lily, she knows one thing about these moments.

They have to end somehow.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this short chapter!**


End file.
